Delayed Reaction Lounge

Tony Walker How are women and tornadoes alike? They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave!

Author/Artist Unknown

LESSONS TO REMEMBER IN REAL LIFE: 1. Money cannot buy happiness but its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. 2. Forg...

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her. I love being married. It's so great to find that one ...

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. If I agreed with you we'd bo...

If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off? Any woman that t...

Tony Walker My wife & I were fighting the other day. As we were fighting she started packing. "Where are you going?" I asked...

The longest sentence known to man: "I do." Crime doesn't pay... Does that mean my job is a crime? Do you ever notice that ...

A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife hasn't had sex with him for 6 months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife ...

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do Americans choose ...

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not ...

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. Bette...

Little Johnny is walking down the hall when he hears a noise from his parents room. He knocks on the door and asks his mom what's going ...

Tony Walker A psychiatrist is conducting a group therapy session with 3 young mothers & their small children. "You all have obsess...

Tony Walker A psychiatrist is conducting a group therapy session with 3 young mothers & their small children. "You all have obse...

A man and his wife were driving through the country on their way from New York to California when the man noticed he needed some gasoline. H...

Tony Walker My friend "Baldy" Ed is a manager at Shop Rite. The other day Boyle walks into Shop Rite. She knows Ed too so she w...

AT THE STAND UP MIC WE NOW PRESENT: Dawn Boyle A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent...