My Best Friends

I moved into my neighborhood a little over seven years ago. It was a big move for me, not knowing anyone who lived in the town and being a stay-at-home mother of a 3 year old and 7 month old. We bought a house that was out of our price range like everyone else, but with one thing in mind....we would make it our home, the place where we would never leave. Within hours (that's right I said HOURS) of the U Haul pulling in the driveway of our new home on Halloween, I had the luxury of meeting one of the women in the story below.

My friend Gina is a "GO-TO" friend. She finishes my sentences or with just a look knows exactly what I am thinking. She has my back and the biggest heart in the world. She is a survivor in many ways...and together we will survive the years ahead with our kids who have turner and are turning into teenagers....I am very lucky to have her in my life.

On Sunday night I received an email from her about a story her friend wrote about their "CREW"....it brought me to tears for many reasons, it made me think about my friends - new & old. It made me realize how people come into your life and the purpose they serve...it is something, everyone does leave an impression. I am very happy to share this story with you....and I hope it tugs a little at your heart enough to smile through some tears and call a friend.

Thank you Gina M. for sharing - you make my heart smile!

D.B.K.

Coleen Colwell Schneider

People are lucky to have one best friend their whole life.  I am super lucky because I have six best friends in mine.  These six girls have been my best friends for over thirty years.  We have been through so many of life’s ups and downs.  Boyfriends, jobs, weddings, babies, even cancer.  We have laughed, cried, fought and supported each other over and over again.  Our husbands have become close friends and our children think they are cousins.

We share so many memories and know each other’s deepest secrets.  I have a twenty year old daughter and two teenage sons and most of my close friends have kids around the same ages.  When they get caught having parties at our house when we aren’t home, or drinking when they are not of age, or dating some loser, we complain to each other and advise each other about how to parent.  Then, ten minutes later, we are reminiscing about parties we had and loser boyfriends we dated, and we are laughing till we cry.

After 9/11, my friend Gina had read a story about a ring that was found in the rubble at ground zero.  It was a ring that belonged to one of the victims.  The ring belonged to a woman who wore the ring as a symbol of her friendships with her childhood girlfriends.  They also had the same ring.  We were all turning forty that year and it was a no-brainer what the gift to each other would be. This is the ring that we all share and treasure.

What I treasure more than this ring, are these six girls, Maureen, Joanne, Darlene, Gina, Lisa and Cathy. We are not perfect but we love and respect each other and have passed the test of time. I have learned so much from each one of them and they have all been a great influence in my life.  They are smart, beautiful and make me laugh more than anyone can imagine.  W.A. Wallace said “
Friendship is the fusion of souls.”  I believe this to be true because these girls are my soul-mates.

This month our 50^th birthdays begin.  We wanted to do something special again.  Luckily, Lisa is a jeweler and found the perfect gift:  a set of bangle bracelets that resemble the ring.  The bracelets, like the ring, like our friendships, have no end.  They will go on and on.

GETTING OUT OF THE ZONE....the "friend" zone

Tony Walker

"I love you like a brother."

I swear to God if I hear that one more time I am going to..... going to..... to.... I'm gonna do something damnit!

That's one comment that I've heard so many times & I've never understood it.

What's with you ladies??? You want open & total communication but when we do that, we get too close, so the relationship turns into a brother/sister type!!

Remember Billy Crystal in "When Harry Met Sally?" Over & over he said, "Women & men can't be just friends." Right or wrong, no matter how close you are to the guy he is most likely willing to get naked with you. The reason he got so close to you in the first place was because he wanted to have a romantic relationship with you!!!

"Wow.... what a nice girl. I would like to be like a brother to her." If you tell me you know a guy who has said this, I want his name & number!

You love me like a brother from another mother? Great! Give me some money! Let me borrow your car! What's in the fridge? Give me a break. If you love me like a brother, at least set me up with your best friend!

If you love a guy that much, if he's that nice, won't he make the best boyfriend/husband? You must have one hell of a connection with him if you're that close. 

Please explain this one to me ladies.

PARENTING 101 - By Deanna

Can I Have A Life Line?

By Deanna Verbouwens

Oh…my friends!! I love them to death, I have a handful of best friends that I rely on – maybe way too much but rely on them I do. I can count my closest friends on two hands, I tell some more than others, some know everything about me…maybe more than I know about me. I value, love, and hold my friends in the highest regards. I’ve disappointed some, I’ve divorced a few, and some are still hanging around. I will say my piece with respect and honor their wishes, I will support them and never judge, sometimes - in my humblest of opinions I will let them know that I think they are wrong. I will keep secrets that I may not want to keep, I will let them vent, cry and make them laugh even if it means I have to moon them (yeah, picture mooning your friends with a piece of toilet paper stuck in your ass!). They are my friends. They make me pee my pants with laughter, they lend a shoulder when it’s needed, they call, and come running without being asked – they just know what to do – because they are my friends.

I’m not sure where I learned to be a friend - they say you mimic your parents/guardians behavior but that wasn’t the case for me. You hear that some woman crawled under the tables of the weekly bridge games listening to their mother and her friends talking about the neighbors, teachers or husbands, or perhaps they remember them sitting poolside drinking a cocktail while all the kids horsed around in the pool, or maybe even remember the monthly pot-luck dinners. That didn’t happen with my mom, I feel I barely knew my mom’s friends. My mother did have a strong circle of friends however; I rarely got to see my mom in action with them, my parents moved to Long Island and most of my mom’s friends stayed in the City (Brooklyn or Queens). I did witness my mom befriend the neighborhood moms and she is still very close with one, however, my mom had five children and rarely made the time for herself, that coupled with my dad being sick ...well, you get the picture. I love that my mom now makes the effort to attend a weekly card game with the gals from her old job, when she gets the chance - she still see’s her girls from back-in-the-day and even goes to lunch with the one neighborhood mom almost every month.

I am not sure if friendships weren’t that important to my mom or if she just put them on hold until she had the time to make for herself and her friends. Whatever the reason, I implore all woman to make friends whether you make one at work, through your kids or it’s one from kindergarten – if you have the connection – nurture that friendship. Every girl needs one friend she can rely on. I’m nothing without my friends – they are my rock, my comfort and my life-line – I am lucky I have many.

Find more from Deanna: www.theunnaturalmother.com

TRUE FAMILY...A SURPRISING LESSON

Tony Walker

What is the true meaning of the word family? Is family a parent, sibling, cousin, etc? Or is it your closest friends? Who do you rely on more? Who is the first person you turn to when you need something?
A buddy of mine was recently sick. His traditional family, the parents and siblings, were NOT there for him. For the first time in his life he asked for help. He didn't get much of it. He was so disappointed and let down. He said he now looks at his family in a much different light.
Another friend of mine is constantly fighting with her family. Her family does nothing but put her down. She recently had a scheduling issue with work where she needed someone to watch her kids for a little while before and after school. When you have something like that going on who do you turn to first? Your family right??? Well her own parents told her that she's crazy if she thinks they're going to watch her kids for her. Do you believe that???
This made me think. I hardly have anything to do with my extended family. I'd rather spend the Holidays with Salbo, Murph, and Boyle than my "real" family. Friends like them are my family as far as I'm concerned.
Tell us what you think. Almost everyone I know has a story about family. This one's fighting with that one over a will. This one is fighting with that one over who gets more attention. Blah blah blah. Do you have a story like this? Do you rely on friends more than family or is your family always there when you need them?