DON'T BLAME GUNS!

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

 

Let me start by saying, I write this article , not from reading other articles and writing my interpretation, but from painful, personal experience. Those of you who have not lived with a family member suffering from mental illness, may be able to empathize to a certain extent, but you can’t really grasp the hellish existence we must endure.

 

The senseless killing of 20 innocent children and 6 adults has caused people to cry out for gun control, better security in schools and bans on automatic weapons. The real need, my friends, is for BETTER MENTAL HEALTH POLICIES in this country. Families with mothers, fathers, sons and daughters suffering with mental illness, like Bi-Polar Disorder, Schizophrenia, Depression and countless other illnesses, struggle on a daily basis trying to get help and effective treatment for their loved ones, but it just isn’t there for many of us.

 

“Simply put, treatment works, if you can get it. But in America today, it is clear that many people living with mental illness are not provided with the essential treatment they need.”

—Michael J. Fitzpatrick, executive director of NAMI National, National Alliance on Mental Illness, Grading the States 2006, Arlington, Va.

 

Parents with children who are violent, abusive, or destructive have few options. If we act to keep our children and others safe, we are accused of child abuse or endangerment. For example, my son was violent and would kick out his windows, run outside and try to climb onto the roof to jump off. We put plexiglass on the windows and he kicked those out. We finally had to put grating on the windows, to keep him from getting out and to protect him from shattered glass if he did shatter the window. A social worker said we were breaking the fire code and endangering his life and that we could be reported to DCF. I stated that if we took the grating off, he was in much greater danger. I also asked her what she would do in this case. Her answer was “Well, I certainly wouldn’t put grating up! Take it down.” And that was it. No help or advice. She went home to her normal, safe family and left us to deal with our situation alone.

 

I was forced to Baker Act my son several times. This means, he was a visible danger to himself or others and police can be called to take him to a mental health facility to be evaluated. In every single case, he was drugged into a catatonic state, and of course, his incidents of violence stopped. The longest he was held was 72 hours and then released back home where, of course, we wouldn’t keep him drugged until he was like a zombie. A day or 2 later we were right back where we started. Back to living in hell.

 

Who knows what the mother of this young man who killed so many has lived with. No one can judge her until they know the circumstances of her life. It could be that she was an abusive mother, or that she neglected her son. But it’s also very possible that she struggled for this young man’s entire life, trying to get treatment, medication, counseling, and support for him and her family. I’m not surprised that her son murdered her. My son attempted the same thing on several occasions when he was younger, especially when he was going through puberty.

 

Please don’t misunderstand. I love my son. I did everything on God’s good earth to get him help and treatment. I traveled all over the state and farther to find the best psychiatrists and psychologists. I had a behavioral analyst, social workers, nutritionists, an more working with me. I went for training on how to safely restrain him, how to try and defuse his fits, how to use conditioning, reinforcement, how to protect myself , my daughter and my husband. All this because I INSISTED that I be trained!! Only one of the many, many mental health professionals encouraged me in this. For this reason, I will always be grateful and hold in the highest regard, Doctor Humberto Nagera of the University of South Florida.  He met with me won a weekly basis and gave me advice and strategies to deal with my son. The others were annoyed and labeled me a “difficult parent” because I fought for help. Dr. Nagera was also the ONLY one who was concerned about the effect of my son’s illness on my daughter who is 4 years younger. His care and concern had such an affect on her that she is now in graduate school studying to be an Applied Behavioral Analyst. I wish President Obama would put Dr. Nagera in charge of forging new mental health policies and programs that actually help not only the patient, but their suffering families.

I believe it is because of him , his support and the advice he gave our family, that my son has never been arrested, never on drugs, and not permanently committed to a mental institution. My son is now attending college after getting a GED, has a girlfriend, and lives on his own (with some help from me). He is still bipolar and still has great difficulty with life. He still gets angry but has learned to control it enough to keep from becoming violent. Some days he’ll talk to me and we have a good relationship, and others he hates me and  says I was never a mother to him. I’ve learned not to take it personally and just wait it out. Eventually, he comes around again. I believe that, without the hard work and partnership of me, my husband, my mother, my mother in law, my daughter and my friends, and especially the help of Dr. Nagera , my son would be dead or in prison and I would have been murdered by him.

 

So when you’re hearing all the calls for gun control or complaints about school safety (even though Sandy Hook was proven to have a good policy in effect and all teachers and staff acted heroically in this situation), PLEASE remember that if parents had access to EFFECTIVE mental health treatment, help with violent and abusive children, and the empathy and understanding of the public, there might not be incidences like Sandy Hook and Columbine.

 

ALL parents need to look at what they’re teaching their children by allowing them to see violent movies, play violent video games and act and speak disrespectfully. It’s not funny when a child uses foul language. It’s a crime when a young child is permitted to play games where they kill and maim with guns, swords or whatever weapon the game provides. It’s irresponsible when parents allow children to see movies or TV shows where sex and violence are commonplace, causing them to think this is the way it is in real life. THAT’S EXACTLY why it is becoming real life. It’s not adorable to see young girls dressed like sluts or boys dressing like gang members. All these things send a message to our children, and it’s not a good message.

 

Let me leave you with these facts:

 

One in four adults—approximately 57.7 million Americans—

experience a mental health disorder in a given year. One in 17 lives

With a serious mental illness such as schizophrenia, major

depression or bipolar disorder1 and about one in 10 children live

with a serious mental or emotional disorder.

 

• About 2.4 million Americans, or 1.1 percent of the adult population,

lives with schizophrenia.

• Bipolar disorder affects 5.7 million American adults, approximately

2.6 percent of the adult population per year.

• Major depressive disorder affects 6.7 percent of adults, or about

14.8 million American adults.1 According to the 2004 World Health

Report, this is the leading cause of disability in the United States

and Canada in ages between 15-44.

• Anxiety disorders, including panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive

disorder (OCD), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), generalized

anxiety disorder and phobias, affect about 18.7 percent of adults,

an estimated 40 million individuals. Anxiety disorders frequently

co-occur with depression or addiction disorders.

• An estimated 5.2 million adults have co-occurring mental health

and addiction disorders.4 Of adults using homeless services, 31

percent reported having combination of these conditions.

• One-half of all lifetime cases of mental illness begin by age 14,

three-quarters by age 24. Despite effective treatments, there

are long delays—sometimes decades—between the first onset of

symptoms and when people seek and receive treatment.

• Fewer than one-third of adults and one-half of children with a

diagnosable mental disorder receive mental health services in a

given year.

• Racial and ethnic minorities are less likely to have access to mental

health services and often receive a poorer quality of care.

• In the United States, the annual economic, indirect cost of mental

illness is estimated to be $79 billion. Most of that amount—

approximately $63 billion—reflects the loss of productivity as a

result of illnesses.

• Individuals living with serious mental illness face an increased risk

of having chronic medical conditions. Adults living with serious

mental illness die 25 years earlier than other Americans, largely

due to treatable medical conditions.

• Suicide is the eleventh-leading cause of death in the Unites States

and the third-leading cause of death for people ages 10-24 years.

More than 90 percent of those who die by suicide have a

diagnosable mental disorder.

• In July 2007, a nationwide report indicated that male veterans are

twice as likely to die by suicide as compared with their civilian peers

in the general United States population.

• Twenty-four percent of state prisoners and 21 percent of local jail

prisoners have a recent history of a mental health disorder.

Seventy percent of youth in juvenile justice systems have at least

one mental disorder with at least 20 percent experiencing significant functional impairment from a serious mental illness.

• Over 50 percent of students with a mental disorder age 14 and

older drop out of high school—the highest dropout rate of any

disability group.

www.nami.org

My heart goes out to all the families of the Sandy Hook tragedy, but it also goes out to the family  of this young man who killed his own mother and then himself . His mental illness doesn’t excuse the horrible thing that he did, but it should motivate us to vote for better mental health care in this country and support teachers and others who deal with this issue on a daily basis.

TEEN MOM KILLS INTRUDER

                                                       Marion Pellicano Ambrose

An 18 year old Oklahoma woman shot and killed an intruder on New Year’s Eve. The recently widowed woman, Sarah McKinley, was home alone with her 3 month old son when 2 men tried to break in. She pushed the couch in front of the door, gave the baby a bottle, and grabbed a 12 gauge shotgun. She dialed 911 and asked the dispatcher if she could shoot the intruder.

“He was going from door to door trying to bust in” said McKinley. “I don’t know what he had in his hand besides the knife. I believe he actually had a hammer in his hand at some point because he was hitting that back door with it.”

The 911operator told McKinley that she couldn’t shoot the intruder until he was inside the house, but to do what she had to in order  to protect her baby.

When the intruder burst in, McKinley shot and killed him. He was identified as 24 year old Justin Shane Martin. His accomplice, Dustin Louis Steward, 29, ran away but was brought to the police later by his parents.

McKinley realized later that Martin was the same man that had been stalking her at a rodeo, in a local convenience store and had come to her door a few nights earlier introducing himself as a neighbor,

DISNEY DOES IT AGAIN!

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

Disney Nature had done it again; they’ve produced a nature documentary that educates, moves and entertains! Past successes include Oceans, Earth and African Cats. This year Disney Nature presents Chimpanzee, in theaters Earth Day (April 20, 2012).

In this documentary, we travel deep into the forests of Africa to meet Oscar, a young Chimpanzee and his family. His antics and adventures lead us to discover the intelligence and ingenuity of this amazing species.

A 100 page educational guide is available and contains lesson plans and activities geared towards grades 2-6. All lessons are aligned with National Standards and include audio and visual clips and ready made PowerPoint presentations on topics like: Animal adaptations, habitats and Ecosystems, Animal behavior, use of tools and communication. Also covered are the important topics of protecting and making a positive difference for wildlife worldwide.

When I was an assistant principal, I made arrangements and took grades 4-8 to see Earth and Oceans on two different Earth Days. It was a great way to celebrate and reinforce awareness of global issues. The kids loved both movies and felt it was a real treat to go to the movies on a school day. The theater made special arrangements and gave us a wonderful package of ticket, soda and popcorn for $5 per student.

I’m especially excited about this year’s movie Chimpanzee. As you may know, I volunteer at the Center for Great Apes in Wachula, Florida,  which is a sanctuary for Orangutans and Chimpanzees who were formally in the entertainment industry, non accredited zoos, research facilities or were exotic pets. In all cases, once they became bigger and more dangerous, they were no longer wanted. The Center provides them a safe, enriching environment in which to live out their natural lives in as close to the wild as possible. The love and care they receive is inspiring and the people who run the Center are awesome, dedicated people! It’s a privilege to volunteer there.

I’m hoping every parent will bring their children to see this movie. I hope adults will see it as well. It’s so important that we become aware and involved in the humane treatment of animals. Watching Disney Nature allows us to see these creatures in the wild and within their family groupings. We can come to know them and understand the universal interconnectedness of all living things.

For more information visit:

http://disney.go.com/disneynature/chimpanzee/#/movies/chimpanzee

http://disney.go.com/disneynature/chimpanzee/#/videos/chimpanzee

http://www.centerforgreatapes.org/

ANGRY BIRDS

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

Angry Birds; they’re everywhere!  Since the release of the app Angry Birds in December 2009, people everywhere are flinging these little birds at pigs and knocking down structures in an effort to rescue stolen eggs. Over 12 million copies of the game have been purchased from Apple's App Store, which has prompted the company to design versions for other touchscreen-based smartphones, such as those using the Android operating system, among others. The developer, Rovio Mobile has supported Angry Birds with numerous free updates that add additional game content, and the company has even released stand-alone holiday and promotional versions of the game.

The game has become so popular, that one of this Christmas season’s top selling toys is the Angry Birds Plush toy. You can also get Angry Bird toys for your dog. I bought the red bird frisbee for Dudley, our Corgi! I also bought a bird and some pigs to put in my husband’s stocking since he’s addicted to Angry Birds!

According to Wikipedia, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angry_Birds)  several updates and special editions of the game have been released.

Angry Birds Seasons:In October 2010, Rovio released a special Halloween edition of game. Angry Birds Halloween, exclusive to iOS at the time and a separate application from the main game, included new levels with Halloween-themed music and graphics. In December 2010, Rovio released Angry Birds Seasons to iOS, Android and Symbian^3 devices. Seasons introduced 25 Christmas-themed levels, one for each day leading to the holiday, similar to an Advent calendar.All versions include the previously-exclusive Halloween levels and are offered as separate, stand-alone paid applications, with the exception of the free, ad-supported Android version; Angry Birds Halloween users on iOS received the Seasons levels as a free upgrade.  The Halloween version was given the episode title "Trick or Treat," while the Christmas episode was entitled "Season's Greedings." In February 2011, Rovio released a new Valentine's Day update to Angry Birds Seasons, entitled "Hogs and Kisses," complete with new themed levels and graphics, as well as the option to send Angry Birds-themed Valentine's Day messages through Facebook. In March 2011, Rovio released a new St. Patrick's Day update, entitled "Go Green, Get Lucky," followed by an Easter update, entitled "Easter Eggs," in April 2011 and a summer update, "Summer Pignic," in June 2011. In September 2011, "Mooncake Festival" was released in conjunction with the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival. In October 2011, "Ham'O'Ween" was released and introduced a new orange bird, known as the globe bird. In December 2011, "Wreck the Halls" was released with 25 Christmas-theme levels also arranged in an Advent calendar setting.

 Angry Birds Rio: Rovio launched Angry Birds Rio in March 2011. In this version, based on the 20th Century Fox animated film Rio, the Angry Birds characters appear in Rio de Janeiro and interact with characters from the film. Angry Birds Rio initially included two chapters including a warehouse chapter entitled "Smuggler's Den" and a jungle chapter entitled "Jungle Escape", but it has been updated with additional chapters and levels including a beach chapter entitled "Beach Volley", a carnival chapter entitled "Carnival Upheaval", an airfield chapter entitled "Airfield Chase", and one more chapter as Smugglers Plane. Since release, Angry Birds Rio has been downloaded more than 10 million times.

 Angry Birds Magic: A special version of the game, called Angry Birds Magic, will be developed exclusively for Nokia's NFC-enabled Symbian devices. This version of the game will include functionality that will unlock game levels upon contact with another NFC-enabled phone running the game. A free version of Angry Birds Magic will come preinstalled with all NFC Symbian devices to be sold in 2011, starting with the Nokia C7.

Angry Birds has been praised for its successful combination of addictive gameplay, comical style, and low price. Its popularity led to versions of Angry Birds being created for personal computers and gaming consoles, a market for merchandise featuring its characters and even long-term plans for a feature film or television series. With a combined 500 million downloads across all platforms and including both regular and special editions, the game has been called "one of the most mainstream games out right now", "one of the great runaway hits of 2010", and "the largest mobile app success the world has seen so far”

It seems that these angry little birds will continue to be flung from slingshots to destroy funny little pigs for some time to come!

Marion’s Best Cookie Cutter Sugar Cookies

Attending a cookie exchange, having the neighborhood kids over, or going to a friend's Christmas party? You can never go wrong with a really good basic sugar cookie. These have been my favorite for the past 30 years. I've yet to find another recipe that is as easy and produces such delicious cookies!

Ingredients:

1 cup butter

1 cup sugar

1tsp vanilla

1 egg

3 cups flour

2 tsp. baking powder

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Cream butter and sugar until smooth. Add vanilla and egg and keep blending. Add flour 1 cup at a time, mixing well. Add baking powder. When well blended, roll out on floured surface to 1/8” thickness. Dip cookie cutters in flour and cut shapes. Sprinkle with colored sugar if desired. Bake for 6-7 minutes on ungreased cookie sheet. Cool on wire rack. Makes 2-3 dozen cookies.

Optional: cookies can be decorated with icing or drizzled with melted chocolate.

CAN YOU TAKE THE TRUTH?

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

Some of you will scan the title and say," I don't need to read this", but I hope you WILL read it all the way through. Every human being needs to know what is happening each and every day; just to "entertain" us and get our dollars!

The TRUTH about Apes in Entertainment

Great apes are sentient animals who have the same emotions (positive and negative) as humans - compassion, affection, jealousy, anger, generosity, embarrassment, sense of humor, joy, homesickness, and sadness. In all the animal kingdom, they are the closest to man in behavior and intelligence, but they are not pseudo-humans or clowns for our pleasure.

In spite of the public's increased sensitivity and awareness of animal protection issues, chimpanzees and orangutans are still used today to perform in live stage shows at tourist attractions, television productions, movies, circuses, print ads, studio work for commercials, mall openings, casino appearances, state fairs, and late night talk shows.

The truth is that great apes used in these situations are only babies or juveniles. Infant apes are used because adolescent and adult orangutans and chimpanzees are too strong and unmanageable, and therefore too dangerous to work around the public or around actors on sets.

PARANORMAL PUB: THE TORSO MURDERS

A True Story Retold by Marion Pellicano Ambrose

Along the banks of the Cuyahoga River which runs through Cleveland’s East Side, was Kingsbury Run. The Run was a shantytown during the Depression and was the site of one of America’s most famous unsolved crimes : The Torso Murders.

Between the years of 1935 – 1938, 13 victims were murdered. Each one was decapitated and most were dismembered. The body parts were found strewn about Kingsbury Run and were believed to be hobos, prostitutes, transients, and other residents of shantytown.

The murders finally ended in 1938 when the famous Elliott Ness burned the shacks of shantytown to the ground. A man named Frank Dolezal was charged with the crimes but died under mysterious circumstances before he was able to be brought to trial. People believed that the real killer was a member of a wealthy, influential family who committed himself to a mental institution after the burning of shantytown.  It was from this killer that Elliott Ness received taunting postcards. The murders and the postcards haunted Ness for the rest of his life, leading him into a downward spiral of alcohol and debt.  Many believe that Elliott Ness was the 14^th victim!

Marion Pellicano Ambrose... NO WOMEN ALLOWED!

Dr. Pepper has come out with a new soft drink: Dr. Pepper 10: For Men Only! The can is designed for men with gunmetal grey and silver bullets, contains some sugar and has 10 calories. I imagine the sugar is to keep it from being categorized “diet” which is unmanly! The new drink even has its own Facebook page, which contains an application that allows it to exclude women from viewing content, which includes games and videos aimed at being "manly." For instance, there's a shooting gallery where you shoot things like high heels and lipstick. There is also a "man quiz" with questions on activities like fishing and hunting. The page also lists the Dr. Pepper Man’ments! See a few for yourself:

DEATH DIDN'T TAKE A VACATION

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

I just got back from a wonderful week in Chattanooga.  I was able to relax, swim, and enjoy the beautiful scenery , the great food and the company of good friends. I took a vacation. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for death.

Since I developed my disease(MCTD) and became disabled a few years ago, I’ve tried to find things to do to be useful.  Thanks to my good friend, John Pasko of the Melbourne PD and The American Police Hall of Fame, I began writing the Line of Duty Death reports for the APHF web page.  Having lost my first husband in the line of duty, I find it a rewarding job. I make sure each officer that gives his life in the line of duty is remembered and honored by what I write.

The thing is, while I was away on vacation, the deaths just kept happening. I somehow didn’t expect to be so devastated and upset when I returned and saw that almost every single day that I was away, a police officer made the ultimate sacrifice - Died in the Line of Duty!

I don’t know why I was surprised, I’ve been doing this for months now and I know that in the United States  127 police officers were killed this year so far. That number is up 14% from last year, and last year it was up 37% from the year before!  Texas leads the country in Line of Duty Deaths for 2011. So far 13 officers have died. New York comes in second with 11 and Florida is third with 10 Line of Duty Deaths. This has become an epidemic! It's outrageous and totally unacceptable, but what can be done?

The Officers' Down Memorial Page is dedicated to honoring and remembering Police Officers from around the country who die in the line of duty. No Parole for Cop Killers is an ODMP initiative to ensure all cop killers serve their full sentences. They believe that the best way to deter criminals from killing police officers is to be sure they know they will receive NO PAROLE.  You can visit their page to see information on Line of Duty Deaths, statistics, information about resources, scholarships and more.

http://www.odmp.org/

What else can be done? Appreciate and validate the police officers in your area. Wave, give a friendly salute, recognize them as fellow human beings doing a dangerous and highly skilled job in protecting you and your loved ones. Remember that when you get pulled over for speeding or running a light. Act with respect and show that you asknowledge that they are putting their lives on the line each day for you and for me. Help when you can. Report suspicious behaviors, crimes and illegal activities you might see. Teach your children not to be afraid of a police officer. NEVER threaten a child with "The police will come and lock you up". Teach them to go to an officer if they are ever in trouble or need help.

Finally, support legislation that helps the police capture, prosecute and put criminals away. Support funding for more officers and better equipment. I'd even like to start a campaign to raise money for my police department to purchase bullet proof vests for the canines!

If we are to stop these line of duty deaths, cut down on crime and make our streets safer, we must act by using our voices and our votes to support our Police Departments!

"When a police officer is killed, it's not an agency that loses an officer, it's an entire nation."                   

                                                                    -Chris Cosgriff, ODMP Founder



http://www.familiesoftheshield.org/



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE A GUN AND KNOW HOW TO USE IT!

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

I was always very against having guns in the house.  My father kept a baseball bat next to his bed for as long as I could remember. He planned to use it to protect his family if the situation ever warranted it. I thought my dad was right and that having a gun in the house was asking for trouble. I’ve  since changed my mind.

I’m all grown up now and have a daughter and son of my own. When they were born, I thought about what I would do if anyone ever tried to hurt or kidnap either of them.  That’s when I realized that a baseball bat just wasn’t going to cut it! I want to be able to stop anyone dead in their tracks that might be a threat to my children. Because of this, I went with my husband to the range and learned how to fire a gun. I found out that I’m actually quite good at it! According to my targets, I definitely stopped the intruder! However, the thought of shooting a real person still bothered me greatly. I wasn’t sure if I could actually pull the trigger. My husband also trained my daughter and wanted to get her a gun. I was totally against it.

Yesterday I got a phone call from my daughter. She’s away at college and was walking to her car after visiting friends. Her boyfriend had met her there so he had his own car. Like the good man he is, he was seeing her safely to her car when he dropped something. He got down to look for it and for a moment wasn’t visible. During that moment, a strange man approached my daughter making lewd suggestions and moving closer. Just then, her boyfriend (a tall, built, protective young man) stood up and got right in this man’s face. Fortunately, he backed off, but still made some disgusting comments to her boyfriend about her. She was relieved and grateful to her boyfriend, as I and her father are, but all I could think about is “What if he hadn’t been there?”  What would my daughter have done to protect herself?
Again, I’ve changed my mind. I believe my daughter should have a gun and know how to use it.

I did some research and found that more and more women are learning to shoot a gun and keeping one with them. Too many crimes against women occur and women must take steps to protect themselves and those they love. I know this is controversial, but I now believe that American Women must become more prepared, more educated and more aggressive in how they keep themselves out of harms way.

An article printed in 2010 talked about self-defense expert Paxton Quigley. If she had her way, every woman would be toting a gun around like the latest iphone. Why? “ Handguns are the best way for women to protect themselves from violence and rape, says Quigley, who has taught more than 7,000 women how to pull the trigger. For her new book, Armed & Female: Taking Control, she talked to dozens of female victims of violent crime, many of whom said a gun could have prevented the attack.  Out of an estimated 200 million guns in the U.S., about 17 million belong to women. Many women live alone; they need protection. There was a jump in gun-buying when President Obama was elected — the so-called Obama bump. Pro-gun folks were scaring a lot of people, claiming Obama would ban guns. People tried to make it political. You can see what both sides try to do. I just think guns can prevent rape — and a lot of women do not ever get over rape.
According to M.D. Creekmore, of The Survivalist Blog, “Just because you are a woman doesn’t mean you need a man for protection, with training and the proper tools you can defend yourself. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.”