Showing posts with label Self esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self esteem. Show all posts

Monday, September 19, 2011

SEXIST STYLING

The Good Girl
I am the mother of a seven-year old girl. As a typical mom, I think she is just a bundle of amazing. She's beautiful, smart, funny, imaginative, loving, sweet and playful. And what is really great, what warms my heart, is that she thinks so too. She believes it with every fiber of her being. She wakes up every morning feeling that she is just as special as I think she is. Even with her hair all out of place, missing teeth and a chocolate milk mustache, she thinks she is beautiful and the cutest thing in the whole wide world.

When she dances across the floor, she does it like a prima ballerina. When she sings, she does it with the confidence that she has a terrific voice. There is no doubt, no hesitancy on her part. She loves herself. She is strong. She is talented. She can do anything.

Unfortunately, I can't help but dread the day when she will lose some of that. Hasn't it happened to all of us at some point? Someone or something came along and started to wear away at that amazing creature we knew were. We started to doubt how amazing we were. We stopped dancing because we were unsure of what we looked like. We stopped singing because our voice isn't really that good. We stopped looking into the mirror and loving the image that reflected back to us. We started to feel not smart enough, pretty enough, not thin enough. We started to only see the flaws, where we didn't measure up to some ideal that someone else presented to us.

And why in the hell would we do that?

Why would we let ourselves lose the fact that we are amazing? Why would we let someone take that away?

I think that's what really upset me when I came across the story of two recent clothing items, produced by and for major retailers. The shirts aimed at young girls, girls of my daughters age and older, that had blatantly sexist remarks. First, JC Penny came out with a girls' shirt that said "I'm Too Pretty for Homework." It was quickly followed by another shirt with the phrase "Allergic to Algebra" from Forever 21. Are you kidding me? How does something like this even get made? Explain to me how a buyer sees this stuff and thinks, yeah, this is just so cute because, you know, girls like to be pretty and hate numbers.

Both were eventually pulled from the stores after an outcry from parents. What I find troubling is that the retailers seemed oblivious to the message they were sending with these shirts. If you're pretty enough, you don't have to work hard. Things will come easy to you based on your looks. It's beauty over brains, because that's what society views as important and a measure of your true worth. You're too pretty to put in effort. That's for ugly girls. (If you're not pretty, well then you better be smart and be prepared to work hard.) What kind of message is that for young girls? I find it disheartening and shameful.

"Allergic to Algebra" just reinforces the stereotype that girls are bad at math, even though there is nothing that supports line of thinking. Girls should never feel that boys have an inborn advantage in math and science due to the fact they are males. The message is a harmful stereotype that can be incredibly detrimental to a child’s personal achievement.

We should not let a slogan on a cheap shirt demean our daughters.

It's time that we told those people they are full of it. It's time we take back what they took from us. It's time that we make sure our daughters never lose sight of the fact that they are and always will be amazing.

Friday, September 2, 2011

FROM FUNK TO FISHNETS...BRINGING SELF BACK

Dawn Boyle
It's here. The very last week of "summer". I feel like it was over in a blink of the eye. I feel that the days, months and now years are going too fast. I feel like I am entering into a new phase of my life...

A handful of months ago I turned 40. I handled it pretty well, if I may say so. I celebrated with my family and friends (somewhat - I think someone slipped me a mickey that night...you know who you are). I barreled into my new coming of age year with balls to the wall. I have to admit, I fell short of all the personal promises to myself. I wanted to accomplish way more than I did. I will say I kept to my word on a number of key issues, but once again let myself and my attempt at continuing it to be a "ME" year flat line.

I am not one of those people who believes in making resolutions, but I have to do something to bounce back. To get out of the funk that has encompassed me for a while now. I am taking the starting of the school year as my key to unlock the bullshit I have allowed into my own head and release it.

I had a good summer, not a great summer, but a pretty good one. I feel that I really need to start reading the Soul Food on our site, I need inspiration. I need a boost. I need a fresh start.

My friend Mary Sunshine tells me all the time that it starts with believing it and making it happen. So I say this...I believe. I believe that it's time to snap out of it and MOVE FORWARD. Leave all the crap of what is coming up on the year anniversary behind me. To let go of the issues other people have that for some reason I take on as my own. I need to embrace my immediate future and make it happen...what "it" is, I am excited to reveal within myself.

It's time to pull on the FISHNETS and let it ride!!! START SOMETHING POSITIVE TODAY. MAKE A DEAL WITH YOURSELF TO MAKE THIS A YOU YEAR!!! SHAKE IT UP  AND LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT TO LIVE...I am going to give it my all!!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE IT! EVERYDAY!

Barbara Ward-Finneran
What enables us to go from what we are today to who we want to be tomorrow?
All the options that exist in today's tech savvy and fast moving world along with all the decisions and choices open to us each moment don’t necessarily give you a sum of happiness and optimism at the end of the day.  How has the simplicity of that beautiful aspiration been lost along the way? Multitudes of options seemingly make life overwhelming, not easier.  Wouldn’t it seem like many choices would make life easier.  Rather the opposite is at times blindingly apparent.  With choice comes responsibility.  UGH!  Therein lies the problem.  Do you become trapped in not choosing rather then risk the wrong one?  
Although not easy to admit out loud, or in this case, write and read typed out, I’ve been making choices by default.  By spinning my wheels. YUCK!  I despise that - yet I have been lost in a cycle of it.  By not keeping your eyes on the prize and focusing on the outcomes you desire, you let life happen to you, instead of creating the life you crave and deserve.  I know better.  I do better.  So, WHY?  Why am I, why have I been floundering in a pool of potential?  
I’ve been putting in some time soul searching for that "AH-HA answer".  It’s not a black and white issue, so there isn’t a simple answer, but a spectrum of shades and tints to investigate.  Layers to peel away, acknowledge, and feel before you can escape the torture of life in the gray and once again look through those technicolor glasses.  I know I have those glasses!  Hell, I usually blind people when I put ‘em on. They have been just out of reach - like that lip gloss that you know is in the black hole of your purse.  Reach in feel around, pull stuff out, you know it’s 'freaking' in there.  Yet there is no getting your hands on it till later when you can get somewhere and do the “great purse dump” in a safe place with decent lighting.  
Seems my mind and heart have needed a “great purse dump”.  Yet like when looking for that lip gloss, sometimes you choose to forget about it, rather then finish the task of searching for it, or finding the time, energy, and place needed for the “dump”.  You use (choose the safety of) the chap stick that you have pulled out ten times instead or just go without.  


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

WICKED IS AS WICKED DOES

Barbara Ward-Finneran
I am a big believer in the idea that you have the power within you to create your own happiness.  Foster your own dreams and fashion a reality that is the sum of your combined goals and talents.  The life you dare to imagine dwells in your spirit and feeds your soul.  To change anything, to create anything that you imagine or desire takes one thing - YOU.

If you get lost in the doubts.  Let reason rule why it can't be done.  Listen to the nay-sayers. Abide in negativity. Or allow impossible to be in your vocabulary. You have already put the writing on your own wall.

You are meant to have an astounding life! To accomplish your own greatness.  To have love and happiness abound.  You have to believe it!  Desire it!  Want it!  Speak it into being with your thoughts words and deeds.  Challenges will surface and if you view them as tools to learn and grow rather then as just obstacles and endings - things seems to turn a corner sooner.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

SOUL FOOD

Barbara Ward-Finneran

If there has been a time or a place when you've abandoned yourself, in efforts to save something or someone else, you know that losing that part will haunt you.


The way back to your heart and soul is to live the truth.


In some thing you have to hurt to heal. 


Keep the promises that you make to yourself!


Photo Courtesy of Barbara Ward-Finneran and Drawn 2 Designs, LLC
All Rights Reserved

Monday, February 21, 2011

SOUL FOOD

Barbara Ward-Finneran 

How is it possible that doing nothing can make you overwhelmed? 
A change in direction would be empowering. Yet so often we stall out at that place just before the turn that moves us forward. There is a mistaken safety that comes from the sameness that surrounds us. Push past it! Break out of the box and challenge yourself to choose something new. Invigorate yourself with the anticipation of the unknown. Risking failure only maximizes the celebration of success. You can do it!


Keep the promises that you make to yourself!


elbowcreekgarden.jpg

Photo Courtesy of Barbara Ward-Finneran and  Drawn 2 Designs, LLC  
All Rights Reserved