WHEN I GROW UP

TONY WALKER
This week the father of a close friend passed.
Death has been on my mind a lot lately with the death of some childhood heroes, Gary Carter & Davy Jones.... yes I am a huge fan of Monkees music.
I never knew my friend's father. I met him a few times but that was back when we were kids. After attending the funeral today I realized that this man & his son, my friend are also heroes.
Not to take away from Carter & Jones, but you don't have to be on their level to be a hero.
Bill Thomas was a firefighter & a devoted husband.
His son Michael gave one of the most touching speeches I've ever heard. He talked about how his father's best attributes have passed on to him & his siblings.
The one that stuck with me most was the one that my pal Brian inherited. A sense of humor bigger than he is (& he is a big man) & a devoted husband/father.
Brian Thomas spends almost every minute of his day (when he's not working) doing something with or for his kids.... always with a smile on his face.
Scouts, building something in the backyard, hunting, etc.
Brian's wife, Heather, is a very sweet woman with a sweet smile. Being married to Brian she must do a lot of laughing at home. If you know Brian you agree, I know you do.
To you this post may sound like I am gay for Brian. I'm not.
I'm just being honest. In my opinion there is no bigger hero than someone like Brian or his dad.... someone who can be a devoted husband for 50 years & be a special dad is the ultimate.
That's what I wanna be when I grow up.

FEAR NOT!

Deanna Verbouwens

Drowning, Abductions, Choking, Oh MY! I keep myself awake at night thinking about all these terrible things that could happen to my children. These are fears that send me running for a bag of Lays along with getting run-over, home-invasions, and fire (I get some sense of security when my FDNY hubby is home, I know he can handle at least one thing besides playing solitaire on the PC). I realize that the chances of these things happening are rare, well maybe not too rare but the odds are probably NOT against me. Illogical perhaps, scary as Jason sure and definitely a little bit crazy. Absof**kinglutley. And here’s how crazy--I have a ritual before bed each night, I set-up booby traps by every door and window, then I check on the kids to make sure they’re breathing, next I take the cell phone into my bedroom and turn off the lights to make sure I can dial 911 in the dark, and last but not least I run several different escape plans through my head before I close my eyes. I know, I know, crazy as drunk doing the Macarena.

You’d think that I would have had homing devices implanted in my kid’s asses or at least wrap them in bubble wrap before they left the house. Hey, now that I think about it - not bad ideas. The homing devices would be magical when they are teenagers because I’d know where they were at all times. I can see it now: I’d have a map in the my closet covered with little red push pins as I tracked their every move and maybe I could rig it so an alarm would sound when they hit the local 7-11 to try and buy beer with a fake ID of some random 52 year old man. Now that would give me peace of mind.

Ahhh a mom can dream, but since that’s not happening, how do I find the balance? I need to make sure my kids are protected from the ills of the world and give them enough freedom so they’re not neurotic messes and afraid of their own shadow by age 15. Do I prohibit them from doing anything that is remotely dangerous or send them out there to break every bone in their body? How do I successfully implement the “Don’t talk to strangers” spiel when I reprimand them when they don’t respond to a stranger in Target who have just asked them their age. Now that one is a 100% walking contradiction. Note to self, stress to the kids it’s only okay to talk to strangers when their with Mom and Dad.

So does anyone have any idea where the happy medium exists between becoming an over-protective neurotic Mom or the cool laid back chick that has it all under control? Maybe the answer is to take a little crazy from one and a little chill pill from the other. Like, I let them walk to their friend’s house when they are 15 but they have to call me when they arrive. Perhaps the perfect combination of instilling the right amount of common sense in my kids so they know to run when they see a white van, ’cause it’s always a white van right? Or a guy walking a dog, or a ball on the train tracks or a too big bite of chicken, or a… Oh shit, time for the chill pill.

Find more from Deanna:  www.theunnaturalmother.com

SHE SAID...FAMILY TIES

Dawn Boyle


 FAMILY n. pl. fam·i·lies

1.

a. A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children.

b. Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.

2. All the members of a household under one roof.

3. A group of persons sharing common ancestry.
4. Lineage, especially distinguished lineage.

5. A locally independent organized crime unit, as of the Cosa Nostra.

6.

a. A group of like things; a class.

b. A group of individuals derived from a common stock

I had the luxury of spending the weekend with my family. I have two brothers, they are married and they both have children. I have a mother and father that are still together. Everyone in my family is healthy. But the strangest part of my family is that we all get along. There has never been a major fight between any of us. We genuinely enjoy being around each other. We all dance and party like there is no tomorrow.