KEEP OUR SOLDIER'S CANDLE BURNING

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

 

Growing up, I always looked forward to Christmas Eve night, when my father would call us all to the porch and light a candle to place in the window.  The candle was to light the way for the Holy Family and to show that we always had room for them at our house. I love this tradition, but this year, I'd like to change it a little. I'm sure the Holy Family won't mind at all!   I'd like to invite you to join me in keeping a light in the window for our soldiers, still overseas, who won't be able to be with their loved ones this Christmas.

There’s a candle in the window
For our soldier off at war,
Standing constant vigil ’til
His foreign tour is o’er.

The sentinel stands faithfully
Through day and dark of night,
Reminding all who look its way,
To pray for Freedom’s fight.

For safety and for courage,
And for wisdom do we pray;
That God may grant him all these things
As his Comrade day by day.

Now stand, O Candle, bright and tall,
Alert us all, each one,
That the price of freedom is not cheap,
And its battle not yet done.

So light his way and burn for him,
And for his safe returning;
Our love will be the fuel that keeps
Our soldier’s candle burning

HE SAID... Give me a break!

TONY WALKER

This week's He Said should be called He's Begging.

With the summer approaching my wife & I are trying to figure out what to do with our son for the summer.

Our daughter is Autistic. Our school district has a wonderful summer program for the special needs population. 

Our son used to attend that program but the program is geared more towards the Autistic Spectrum so he doesn't go there anymore.

Our boy is ADHD.  Last year was the first year he didn't attend our district's special needs summer program. Instead he attended a summer "rec" program for all the "typical" kids. What a disaster that was.

So this year we're looking for a program that is sensitive to ADHD.

WOW! Look at all the programs here on Long Island! There are a ton of programs that appear to be perfect for him!  COOL!!

Wait.... what? $6000?? That can't be right.... let's check another program.... $4000??? WHAT?! Another program.... a 2 week program at a local college.... $3900 FOR A 2 WEEK PROGRAM????

How can this be?????

We can hardly afford the $400 price tag for a week at Scout Camp!!! How the hell are we going to do a summer program that is worth more than my wife's car????

So I am begging for answers.... have you ever been in this situation? What did you do? 

I was thinking of selling my body but I'd most likely end up owing more money!!!

Nothing against the "typical" kids but they have so many options. Our special needs kids can't go without some kind of structure for the whole summer. We pay the same school taxes yet we have to pay more for special needs after school activities & summer programs! It's so unfair!!

I'm begging!!! Someone give me a solution..... one I can afford!!!

WHEN I GROW UP

TONY WALKER
This week the father of a close friend passed.
Death has been on my mind a lot lately with the death of some childhood heroes, Gary Carter & Davy Jones.... yes I am a huge fan of Monkees music.
I never knew my friend's father. I met him a few times but that was back when we were kids. After attending the funeral today I realized that this man & his son, my friend are also heroes.
Not to take away from Carter & Jones, but you don't have to be on their level to be a hero.
Bill Thomas was a firefighter & a devoted husband.
His son Michael gave one of the most touching speeches I've ever heard. He talked about how his father's best attributes have passed on to him & his siblings.
The one that stuck with me most was the one that my pal Brian inherited. A sense of humor bigger than he is (& he is a big man) & a devoted husband/father.
Brian Thomas spends almost every minute of his day (when he's not working) doing something with or for his kids.... always with a smile on his face.
Scouts, building something in the backyard, hunting, etc.
Brian's wife, Heather, is a very sweet woman with a sweet smile. Being married to Brian she must do a lot of laughing at home. If you know Brian you agree, I know you do.
To you this post may sound like I am gay for Brian. I'm not.
I'm just being honest. In my opinion there is no bigger hero than someone like Brian or his dad.... someone who can be a devoted husband for 50 years & be a special dad is the ultimate.
That's what I wanna be when I grow up.

THE BEST GIFT

Dawn Boyle

Tis the Season....

What a bunch of crap that is! Why is it that we have lost sight of the real reason we celebrate December 25? With only days away from the Big Guy coming down the chimney, why is it so difficult? Why am I not in the holiday spirit? Why can't I find my lists??

Every year I say the same thing, every year I fail. Is it because the only snow we have had so far was back on Halloween weekend? Could it be because I am still rocking flip-flops the end of December? I am not sure.

I don't know how my parents kept it together all those years. I never saw them sweat around this time of year. I only remember the excitement of decorating the tree, running from house party to house party with them and singing Christmas carols at the top of our lungs.....what is wrong with me?

Everything is a rush, my house is a mess. I am not even close to being done and seriously...where are my lists?? I plan on kicking it into gear. I vow to finish EVERYTHING by Thursday so I can enjoy my family and host a truly fabulous Christmas Eve. I need to do this for my kids cause all they have seen is me sweating the past few weeks and I feel like a failure. More important than that Ipads or Uggs will be the time spent, that's what they will remember - not the gifts!

I am putting the pedal to the metal! The house will be clean, the food will be ready to go for Saturday, the gifts will be purchased and wrapped and I will spend Thursday and Friday actually enjoying the best gift of all....my children and my husband.

BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH; FROM DARKNESS AND DESPAIR - Doris' Story

Cancer is a wicked, wicked disease... Kudos to all those involved in this project and the others like them that spread faith, courage and hope to so many. Survivors are a special kind of HERO. In honor of all those HEROS that all of us know and love, Delayed Reaction Lounge proudly re-posts Doris' story from last Spring.  Ladies... Don't put it off - schedule you mammogram today.  

 

GETTING IT BACK

Doris Jelinek

Ever feel like you are in a dream....everything is wonderful and suddenly you look up and there is a mac truck in your face? That is how I felt when I woke up from my breast biopsy back in Sept 2000.  My life was wonderful. I had three adorable kids who were the light of my life Tim 6, Matt 4 and Holly 2, and a great husband, Keith. The biggest thing I worried about was what kind of pancakes the kids and I were going to make that day, or what park we were going to head out to. Over a series of months I had noticed a chain of small lumps in my right breast develop  and thought for sure they were cysts. It was the breast surgeon that I finally saw that saved my life, Dr David Kaufman. Because my breast were dense at  32 years old, the lumps did not show up on the mammo and he insisted that I have them biopsied. I fought this idea. I was so busy with my kids and did not want to take the time to be in the hospital for a day. I also somehow thought that because I had such small breasts there was no way it would be cancer. Almost annoyed with having to do this procedure I dragged myself there. When I awoke from the anesthesia all I could see was the worried face of Dr Kaufman and the words I could not comprehend "Doris it is cancer, you have to come back tomorrow for a mastectomy"........Cancer? I didn't know anyone who had cancer. I did not have any of the risk factors. Had all three kids under thirty, breast fed them all, never on the pill, no family history, 32 years old. Are you kidding me????. "Fine"....I said to myself. I came home I looked my breast in the mirror, thanked it for nursing my three kids and serving me well....and said "goodbye".

HE SAID... I SHOULD BE DEAD

TONY WALKER
I should be dead.
I'm not dead.
Cancer tried to kill me.
I'm still here.
But did I beat it?

Cancer-Left me without a leg.
              -Screwed up my job which messed up my finances.
              -Took me away from my kids when they needed me. My son has struggled through school since day one. One of the main reasons he struggles is because I either wasn't there for him when he was real little or his needs had to be put aside to deal with a cancer related issue for me. My daughter's autism sometimes took a back seat to my cancer related crap.

TRUE FAMILY...A SURPRISING LESSON

Tony Walker

What is the true meaning of the word family? Is family a parent, sibling, cousin, etc? Or is it your closest friends? Who do you rely on more? Who is the first person you turn to when you need something?
A buddy of mine was recently sick. His traditional family, the parents and siblings, were NOT there for him. For the first time in his life he asked for help. He didn't get much of it. He was so disappointed and let down. He said he now looks at his family in a much different light.
Another friend of mine is constantly fighting with her family. Her family does nothing but put her down. She recently had a scheduling issue with work where she needed someone to watch her kids for a little while before and after school. When you have something like that going on who do you turn to first? Your family right??? Well her own parents told her that she's crazy if she thinks they're going to watch her kids for her. Do you believe that???
This made me think. I hardly have anything to do with my extended family. I'd rather spend the Holidays with Salbo, Murph, and Boyle than my "real" family. Friends like them are my family as far as I'm concerned.
Tell us what you think. Almost everyone I know has a story about family. This one's fighting with that one over a will. This one is fighting with that one over who gets more attention. Blah blah blah. Do you have a story like this? Do you rely on friends more than family or is your family always there when you need them?

ADOLESCENCE TAKE TWO - UGH!!!

Barbara Ward-Finneran

The world is different now.  It happened gradually and yet it happened all of a sudden.  It's something to celebrate and yet it can practically terrify me.  I'm uncertain which part is harder or worse.  My little boy is not so little anymore.  He's not little at all. Every milestone  through the years has meant the world to me - as this was the little boy "they" told me would never go to a "real school" because of his Autism Spectrum Disorder.  Now that seems like a lifetime ago.

He's closing in on twelve in the coming months and is actively spreading his wings in "Middle School".  For the most part all is good.  Very, very good.  He is happy and working very hard to have as much success as possible academically and socially. He's taken the school changes in stride and is maintaining his grades with extra effort and work.  I am so proud of my son and his accomplishments. 

He lives quite the "normal" life.  Perhaps right now it feels a little too normal as there is no shortage of pre-adolescent experiences.  He's rockin' them just like his peers.  Which I embrace as a blessing - yet it breaks my heart.  As parents, out hearts break a little when our kids hurt, and it matters not why... it just breaks.  Along with all the goodness of growing up, has arrived the catalysts of things that challenge and rattle self esteem and shake confidence.  Why is this a right of passage? Why has it not gone away in the decades since I lived through it? Why do I have to hear pain in my son's little boy's voice now sometimes "cracking" in it's desire to become deeper?

In recent weeks everything matters more.  It's as if his eye have become aware of every detail and nuance that used to matter not.  There was a blessing in that ignorance which has been lost to keen sight. He's noticed that what was once an all encompassing circle of friends is now taking the natural course of evolving into cliques and he's struggling with where he "fits".  An unspoken code of musical friends and endless competition has reared it's ugly head.  He's all too aware of girls and worries what they think and wonders why they sometimes laugh so much and squeal so loud.  He's learned that although there are things he still adores and loves to play - that it's just "not cool" to advertise these interests. He's questioning changes in his body and wondering why he's "feeling" more physically and emotionally.  All normal growing pains of tweens finding their way to teens. These seem easier and simpler to deal with, discuss and explain away.  What's cutting me to my core are the ones that haunt me from my own adolescence.

He's notice that his hair is different.  Curly.  Like my own and he wants it straight, "like everyone else". (Lord knows, I cried a bucket of tears over that one. Did have my revenge in the 80s when big hair came in - but that's another blog.)   He's beside himself at times fighting the tears welling in his beautiful blue eyes, that he wants his "flat tummy" back.  (Again, all too reminiscent of my own days as a tween who dealt with being "overweight" - combined with the already existing "Mommy Guilt" of having had my boys seemingly find some of the weight I have lost in the last two years!) It's hard enough to deal with finding the right words and way to guide your kids - without your own inner tween getting in the way.  Hard to comfort this frenzy of insecurity when hearing your child talk about it floods your memories to the surface.  Having that empathy of having "been there done that" --- makes hearing their hurt all the worse. Makes it harder to comfort and makes you want to comfort it even more. Good grief... adolescence was hard enough the first time around!  Would you have ever imagined that it could be worse the next time.  I expected the happening growing pains.  I was ready for them.  I was however, in denial of  "Adolescence Take  Two"- dishing growing pains to the parents with a whole new helping of hurt. In denial of the fact that I'd be feeling so much of them. That I'm not done with my own - for parenthood seem to now have it's own share of growing pains... and frankly, at the risk of sounding like a tween - THAT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!!

HE SAID....

Tony Walker
My guess is that most people who have heard the story about the man who left his 11 year boy would be outraged and would want to hang the father by his short hairs.

I completely understand that feeling.

My father split on me when my mother was pregnant with me. I met him one time when I was 5, and when I was 10 my father was killed in a motorcycle accident.

So when I hear about father's not being there for their children I do get mad.

But this story hit me differently.

In the world we currently live in where the economy is crap, there are no jobs, and people are losing their homes, people feel beaten. Some don't know what to do. Some get desperate. I'm sure most of you have been affected by this economy one way or another like I have. 

Some of you also know the emotional pain of dealing with something like an illness. Emotionally you are drained and desperate.

I'll admit that during my lowest times with cancer I tried telling my family to get lost. You feel guilty for putting your family through such a horrible ordeal.

This story is somewhat new and we don't know all the details.... but so far it looks to me like just a guy whose life is at a real bad place and he feels his son would be better off without him. 

I am by no means justifying this guy leaving his boy. I've learned from my ups and downs that no matter what happens, your family wants to stay with you. No one replaces your family. 

But I feel sad for this man. He's lost and doesn't know where to turn. My hope is that the authorities find him, he does his time for what he did, then ends up back on his feet where he can restore his relationship with his son. How great would it be 5, 10, 20 years from now to be writing on The Lounge-"Remember that story about the man who left his boy? Well guess who rebuilt his life and regained custody of the boy?"

If you haven't heard the story, here is the link to read for yourself...let me know how you feel.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/26/minnesota-dad-steven-cros_n_938686.html?icid=maing-grid10%7Chtmlws-main-bb%7Cdl4%7Csec1_lnk3%7C89966

Editors Note: DRL's Dawn Boyle has responded to Tony.  Be sure to click here to read her She Said.

THIS CRUISE DIRECTOR WANTS TO QUIT

Dawn Boyle

A rainy summer Sunday (or what was supposed to be) when beach plans have been cancelled turn into the day of debates.

Why is it that I am the cruise director all week long for my children. Organizing play dates or making group plans of movies or the likes for my two girls are enough for me. I make our family weekend plans, get all supplies together, packing up enough clothes and bathing suits for the weekend, but when the weather is supposed to turn - it becomes the big debate of "what are we gonna do today?" The same question that makes my toes curl on a daily basis when I field it from the kids I received about 10 times yesterday from my "OLDEST KID".

I look around at the home that looks more like a disaster and think to myself, PICK A ROOM! Everyone can jump on that bandwagon and help me clean up around here. Of course that is not the answer. Sarah suggests a family day of bowling. Gracie's suggested nails for the girls and let Daddy do whatever he wants. Greg suggests going to his favorite place - the boat store. None of these ideas were doing it for me. I wonder what it would take for Greg to think of giving me a few hours of down time. Take the kids bowling, let Gracie get her nails done and then hit the boat store all on there own?

I know it's not going to happen, but I can dream! Boat Store it is....again. Long live the dream of being able to quit being the cruise director. I guess I can't really complain with only a handful of weeks left before they are back in school...but then again, this is random rants! Enjoy the time left! Poor Barbara is already back to school!

TERRORISTS....

Dawn Boyle

Today is the last day, or shall I say hour of school. I have been waiting for this day since late April. It was way back then when I noticed a complete disconnect. My kids acquired this new whine. I have said this before my children should be hired by the government. They would be great annoyance tools to get information out of the "bad guy", I know this because they have been mastering their skills on me for the past ten years. Their specialty - SLEEP DEPRIVATION.

I have not slept an entire night since September 2000. My brain has become so accustom to this practice that on the few occasions where I have been childless for a night, my body doesn't know what to do. I still wake up every few hours. In addition, I can add my aging bladder which now accounts for 3 additional wake up calls during the night. I feel like I could pass out at any given moment.

A few days ago I started taking back my nights. I have successfully (sorta) removed all extra bodies from my bed. I have explained to them that "Mommy" will be way more fun if she gets some sleep and that I am not to be woken unless someone is bleeding, throwing up, or the house is on fire.

I did a little research and have found out some of the things lack of sleep can do to a person....read below, it explains A LOT!

As per WebMD:

In the short term:

• Decreased Performance and Alertness: Sleep deprivation induces significant reductions in performance and alertness. Reducing your nighttime sleep by as little as one and a half hours for just one night could result in a reduction of daytime alertness by as much as 32%.
• Memory and Cognitive Impairment: Decreased alertness and excessive daytime sleepiness impair your memory and your cognitive ability -- your ability to think and process information.
• Stress Relationships: Disruption of a bed partner's sleep due to a sleep disorder may cause significant problems for the relationship (for example, separate bedrooms, conflicts, moodiness, etc.).
• Poor Quality of Life: You might, for example, be unable to participate in certain activities that require sustained attention, like going to the movies, seeing your child in a school play, or watching a favorite TV show.
• Occupational Injury: Excessive sleepiness also contributes to a greater than twofold higher risk of sustaining an occupational injury.
• Automobile Injury: The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) estimates conservatively that each year drowsy driving is responsible for at least 100,000 automobile crashes, 71,000 injuries, and 1,550 fatalities

In the long term, the clinical consequences of untreated sleep disorders are large indeed. They are associated with numerous, serious medical illnesses, including:

• High blood pressure
• Heart attack
• Heart failure
• Stroke
• Obesity
• Psychiatric problems, including depression and other mood disorders
• Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)
• Mental impairment
• Fetal and childhood growth retardation
• Injury from accidents
• Disruption of bed partner's sleep quality
• Poor quality of life

GOTTA GET YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE... Not the finish line!

Barbara Ward-Finneran

I've been told, "You have it all together", "You inspire me", "You handle everything so well"... 

Most times I feel pretty secure in handling life and all it's curve balls day in and day out.  Then there are the days that it's an effort to breathe. Occasionally, a day like that can meld into a stretch of time.  Only those closest to me might notice the heaviness of heart.  There are "airs" to put on when you are "the inspiration" the one who always keeps it together.  Ms. Mary Sunshine shouldn't have thunder rolling in.  Ironically, the last few weeks has not been clear skies.  Geez, talk about feeling like a fraud! Lately the constant struggle to keep all the balls in the air has ruled my life.  When all you do is keep tossing one up - do you really handle anything? Are you just stuck in a wicked cycle of keeping balance, of keeping up appearances, ...never able to forge ahead or climb up?

Plateaus stink.  Professional, personal, relationship, and life/health style ones (any kind at all!) all stink.  No really, they suck. When more then one smacks you in the face at a time, "Forgetaboutit"!  Being "stuck" in one place can be a torture that is the epitome of spinning your wheels in the thick nasty mud when you had the potential to win the race!

Spin, spin, spin.... that's what it's been.  So much energy and jubilation pointed towards the end of school and summers arrival.  The limitless list of all that would be easier, personally and professionally, once school was out on May 27th.  All the "to do-s" that would and will get done.  All the time that would be had to catch up and move on. (Side note: A prime example of not to convince yourself it will be better "when"...!)

Silly me.  All that spinning ended in a wicked stall out! Almost a month later. No closer to winning that race.  No closer to smashing any plateaus.  Reasons matter not.  They were not earth shattering - just challenges in my little corner of the world. But enough to suck the air from my lungs and my motivation right along with it!

What matters is not days past - but NOW.  What matters was Monday.  Monday I declared my own personal "re-do". The restart of summer and all the goals that I have intertwined with the anticipation of it's arrival.  Dusting off that motivation and digging deep to move forward.  Practically forcing myself.  Amazing how even though you want and need to move forward - at times you have to force it into being - even just the start of it. Nothing just gets you nothing, nothing but more spinning! It's a difficult cycle to break at times.  Starting can be the hardest, but doing something is better then doing nothing. Start! Start something, maybe not all of it, or even the most pressing of the issues - but, START SOMETHING!

So, I've started! (Again, FINALLY!)  Not everything.  But, the wheels are in motion and gaining mileage.  I'll keep juggling the balls, keeping my eyes strategically on "myself","family" and "faith"- the rest can bounce if needed.  I'll catch them when I can.  Admittedly - as much as I wanted it - it took days to force the start. I cannot completely even explain why, in writing or even in my own mind.  I have however come to acknowledge the problems with keeping all the balls in the air you tend to ignore the ones that are about you.  That always leads to trouble.  After more then two years of embracing my own mantra of "Keep the promises you make to yourself" I dropped that ball and let it roll out of reach.  Somehow thinking I'd fix the other things and get back to me later.  Doesn't work that way.  HOW DID I FORGET THAT?!?!?  You have to take care of YOU to take care of the rest. 

Do you need to be starting something?!?! 

Do you need to remember to put yourself on the list? 

I highly recommend it! 

YOU ALWAYS HURT THE ONE YOU LOVE

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

I read a post on Facebook by a good friend. It read: “Why do people have to be so cruel?” She was talking about someone who was once a friend and colleague who has gone out of his way to say hurtful things simply to wound her. It made me wonder. What kind of person purposely says things to cause others pain? Then it came to me. Strangers don’t know enough about us to find our “weak” point, or something that would hurt. And even if they did happen upon a sensitive point, they’re strangers, so who cares? It’s only those who we have let get close to us in some way, those we care about, trust, and maybe even love, who can cause us this kind of pain.

So why so those we care about set out to injure us?  I believe that some people who tend to be cruel have it deeply seated in their nature. They’re mean hearted and just enjoy causing pain. Others are just manipulative and use insults and slurs to gain emotional control over another in order to get what they want. I also think some people hurt in exchange for what they feel was a hurt aimed at them.
Whatever the reason, it’s destructive and I’ve gleaned from personal experience that it’s something we must teach ourselves to put a stop to. In my learning process I tried to ignore the cruel remarks and inferences that were aimed at me by loved one. I reminded myself that the things he said weren’t true. I tried pointing that out, but realized that you can’t reason with an angry person while he’s angry. With my husband’s help and support I started to build a shield against the abuse I was receiving from this person. I hung up , walked away or deleted the message as soon as a negative comment was made. I regularly remind myself that others can only hurt me if I let them. I’ve chosen not to let them anymore. It also helps to remember the old song “You always hurt the one you love” so at least I know that this person loves me somewhere deep down!

There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.

                                                                                          Ella Wheeler Wilcox


I hope the experience of working through this will make me a person who thinks before she speaks and will help me to refrain from saying anything that might cause pain to those I love. I hope it will inspire you to do the same.

DON'T YELL AT ME!!!

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

The following poem was written to show adults how a child feels when being yelled at - it can shake them to their core. As I read it, it occurred to me that at times, I feel the same way.  Sometimes, when another adult raises their voice or speaks in that tone of voice that I perceive as yelling, I get angry and come back with a snappy remark. But when someone I love uses that tone, it makes me want to crawl into myself and hide. I guess it’s because their opinion means so much and it hurts to have them disapprove of something I’ve done, even if it was unintentional.  Maybe it’s that inner child taking over, but I never could handle being yelled at.  I wish people would think about how they speak to other human beings. I can’t think of a single instance where yelling has ever solved any problem, repaired a relationship, or helped heal a hurt. In my experience it only adds tension, causes defensiveness, and sometimes causes irreparable damage to a relationship. It may make the yeller feel a bit of relief, but it never helps the yell-ee!

What do you think? Are you a yeller? If so, does it make you feel better? Do you ever think of what you’re doing to the person you’re yelling at?  

 Don't yell at me, don't yell at me! I hate it when you do.

it makes me feel so miserable I want to run from you.

I simply cannot stand it when you yell into my ear.

If I knew how to do it I'd completely disappear!

Don't yell at me, don't yell at me!

I'll crawl away and hide. I'll detonate to smithereens

or shrivel up inside.

Feel free to thumb your nose at me or wiggle all your toes at me,

or even ring a bell at me, but please, please, please. pleeeease.

DON'T YELL AT ME!

                                               -  Jack Prelutsky

THE NEWISH ADVENTURE

Sometimes Your Whole World Is What's Shaken'...

DRL Proudly Introduces Our Newest Contributor:

Jessica Lemoine McGinnis Yee

Someday in February this year, a new adventure was started by me and my husband. Well, not exactly new but newish. See, I found out that at age 42 I was to be a Mom again. Wow what a kicker! I have two beautiful kids but the last time I was in the birthing mindset was 12 years ago. A much younger body and much younger mindset and blissfully ignorant enough to the adventure called parenthood. Now I’m in the prime of my life, in the “lets live it up the kids are grown enough that I can have some fun” mindset. Go to concerts, lectures or take a class and not have to pay half my paycheck to a babysitter. Now we are starting over?! I’m going to lectures and taking a class but it’s to remember how to give birth naturally. See I birthed twice, all natural, although not completely my choice. I was into give me that epidural like most women, what the heck did I know. I didn’t embrace the natural movement in my twenties; I still don’t embrace a lot of it. But I have made some small changes, like I recycle, buy organic and believe in local shopping even if it cost a bit more. Sustaining the small business owner if just for one more day and hopefully boosting my local economy.

SHE SAID....

Dawn Boyle

First it was parents who decided to not inoculate their child. Now it's raising your child without a gender.

According to Parent Central, Kathy Witterick and David Stocker of Canada, have decided to keep the gender of four-month-old a secret to all but their two older children (two boys), and a few others who knows the gender of "Storm". The emailed announcement sent by the parents read:

We've decided not to share Storm's sex for now — a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime (a more progressive place? ...)

For as far back as I can remember there have always been people with beliefs on the fringes, but this could really screw the kid up! I see many years of psychological evaluation for "Storm". Something that the parents are probably doing out of good and in trying to make acceptable could isolate this child and backfire. Much of the time parents who decide to raise their children in non-mainstream ways only make the child more susceptible to bullying and ridicule. How does Storm fill out sex on forms..... MALE, FEMALE, OTHER?

In this GAGA, LITTLE MONSTERS WORLD is there a reason or necessity to make everyone genderless?

A DASH OF FLAVOR

Barbara Ward-Finneran

Creativity escapes me in the kitchen lately.  Not because I can't cook.  I have been told quite the contrary.  I love to cook, bake and "design" in the kitchen.  It is the another art form that I love!  However playing a muck the spice rack and designing just the right taste to savor can leave you flat in a house full of picky eaters where a dash of flavors is NOT desired.  The "chef" in me can get exhausted from being a short order cook.  Truth be told - I haven't been cooking much lately with the wind down of the school year, design work and blogging - yet even when time permits I can't find the motivation.  No motivation for something I love to do.  Go figure.  What doesn't help is, much to  my chagrin, somewhere in the last decade I wound up surrounded by non food adventurers.  I just don't understand!  As far as I am concern you should have a love affair with food.  It's a relationship that never needs an ending.  One must have food to live and survive.  Living should be about so much more then surviving.  Thus, food should be about so much more then which way to serve chicken tonight. And, if my nine year old is there - don't bother unless it's a breaded nugget of sorts.  UGH!  How did I help to create those lacking taste buds?!

Food is an art.  It is a drug of sorts.  Having used it far too long to self medicate - I know the repercussions.  I also know - in that cycle you don't taste or appreciate. I have moved on! Fought long and hard to be in recovery from that abusive addiction.  However - that doesn't mean that the love affair or intoxicating effects are over.  I do believe in EVERYTHING IN MODERATION.  I have learned to live it quite successfully in that venue for the last two years.  Embracing a relationship that is meant to be!  Meant to be honored and valued not abused.  You have to love what you eat!  Or you won't eat it.  I know it, I embrace it.  I cook and create really delectable healthy means around this fact.  (Seriously!!!) I've created pesto from chicken broth rather then EVOO and served to dinner guests with nothing but requests for more.  Often the biggest problem of treating the kitchen like a gallery and making works in progress is the reproduction when it's something you love.  I'm longing to do this again.  To play with the palette of flavors and invite them to come together in a new and exciting masterpiece.  With summer approaching and sightly more "down time" to be had - I will devote time to this ignored passion of mine.  The challenge will be to try and get the family and it's carb-a-holic on board.  I long to do what I love.  And, I long for my family to love it too. There is a battle to be born to rid the cookery of the short order chef.  (I know my mom & other's cringe! "If I served it, they eat it!" I'm not even going to attempt to go there now with reasons of working mother's guilt and or exhaustion complicated by sensory issues or any other "reasons"...)  It will take slow introductions and repeat meetings.  It will have painful and forceful moments at times.  I will not start this war until I am ready to enforce the "rules" - everyone tries and eats some.  It will be a phase out of sorts.  Filled with blood sweat and tears... certainly, mine and theirs!  I am ready!  I want my kitchen on fire with flavor again and I want my kids asking for seconds. Home cooked from scratch non processed seconds!  Although my adversaries will wager hostility at the onset.  This war can be won.  HELL, I looked morbid obesity in the face and took my life back... how hard can it be to get four people to enjoy the same meal a few times a week?!?!

SHE SAID....

Dawn Boyle


Tony...Tony...Tony....if only I could clone you!

I have this conversation all the time with my friends who happen to "STAY HOME". It amazes me how much more you benefit from leaving the house to "WORK" for 8 hours instead of doing it out of the house.

If I had a dime for every single time I heard "but I get up at 4:00AM and go to work", I would NEVER have to work again! For some strange reason the caretaker gets the short end of the stick. My husband thinks that I lay around all day long getting my hair and nails done when the truth is I am usually up the same time he is, but my work day does not end the same time. I never get to leave work, in fact the only time I leave here is to go get MORE WORK! I am up way past his 8:30PM bedtime and do not get "UNION" breaks throughout the day.

The lame excuses crack me up. Hell would freeze over if I had the opportunity to actually beat him to the punch of getting alone time or the chance to blow off a family obligation and have him at the reigns.

I am seriously thinking about going away for a week, without a phone to be contacted on, without all my family and friends around to give him a hand and see exactly what would happen. I am sure the laundry would sit, the sink would be filled and the menu would consist of take out, no one would go to school and they would never get to after school activities.

NOW THAT'S MY KIND OF CHALLENGE, THE SEVEN DAY MAKE THEM DO SOMETHING CHALLENGE!

TONY I SALUTE YOU & THE OTHER MR. MOM'S WHO KNOW HOW MUCH HARDER IT IS TO STAY HOME!!! MUCH LOVE WALKER!

POST HOLIDAY RE-RUN: What Matters?

Barbara Ward-Finneran

What Matters? What really matters?  What matters today and right now, can change in an instant.  No matter how hard you try to live a good life, follow your conscience and consistently do the right thing, bad things happen to good people.  We have personal failures, relationships implode, people get sick, suffer and die, people die tragically, accidents happen, disabilities exist, people disappoint us, hearts get broken, jobs are lost, finances go to ruin, foreclosures run a muck, the list goes on and on.  WHY?  WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?

Life can be trudging along of so happily and then in an instant the life that you knew and embraced ceases to exist.  My first taste of this was when my grandfather died.  I was twenty-three at the time and it was the biggest loss of my life.  Little did I know at the time that it was nothing in comparison to what would follow about 18 months later, a few days after my wedding shower, when my Dad went to sleep and never woke up.  The shock was so horrifying

WHY???

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

When I read Dawn’s post about Oil changes for men and women,

I thought it was funny and clever and I was inspired. It made me think of some of the things women do and why! That’s when I came up with this woman’s ” WHY” List

1. Why am I the only one in the house that knows how to change the toilet tissue roll when it’s empty?

2. Why, when they don’t believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy, do my family members still believe in the Dish Fairy (they leave dirty dishes which magically disappear when I can’t stand it anymore!)

3. Why do people leave a totally empty soda carton in the refrigerator and then get mad when I didn’t buy more soda when I went shopping?