BROKEN PROMISES

Barbara Ward-Finneran

Ever feel like you’ve had an epic fail.  It’s when the things you’ve promised yourself somehow fell to the way side and “everything else” got more important.  Got more important then you.  “Everything else” is important, so it has to have a place.  It has to fit into your life.  Yet the “fit” gets messy and you lose not only focus but balance.  You forsake your control and power for the greater good.  For the “life” that gets in the way. For the everything else that must get done.  

Sometimes you have to close your eyes, remember what’s really important.  You have to put yourself into that image and trust that you belong there.  I know that you must keep yourself in the equation or you’ll never prove. Anyone whose good with mathematical interactions knows you have to prove at the end of the day.  (Okay, truth be told, I’m not always the greatest at mathematical magic, but Daddy was a banker and I get proving!) However, if you fail to keep yourself in the calculations, there’s nothing to prove.  All your best efforts will leave you like something is missing.  Leave you longing for more.  

I know this is true. Not all that long ago I walked a path where I allowed myself to be “lost”.  Lost in a dark place to an addiction that numbed the pain.  An emotional eater  who tail spun into morbid obesity that tipped the scales at well over 250 pounds.  An atrocity for my 5’1” frame.  It didn’t happen over night.  It didn’t happen without me being keenly and painfully aware of every guilty bite, aware of every emotion that I buried.  Knowing day after day that it needed to stop.  Knowing that every five or ten pounds that you allow to be okay invites more. One day I had enough and dialed up my own resurrection.  Decided that the issues and problems would remain, but I didn’t have to keep slowly killing myself. It was time to reclaim the part of me that was hurting and heal it.  Time to take my power back.  And, I did.  It was recovery that had to do with a whole lot more then the 90 pounds I shed.  

For over 30 months it was a success that was sweet most days and larger then life on others.  I worked blood, sweat and tears, to be heathy, to feel better, to look better and most importantly to feel like me, to feel whole.   

In the last six months I found myself somewhere between broken promises and an epic fail.  I allowed a new job and it’s new obligations to get in my way.  The job has it’s place, purpose, prestige and need.  For this woman already running on overdrive there wasn’t much time to dole out to this new endeavor, something had to give.  What was I thinking?!  I allowed it to be me. I took the hit!   One more thing “to do” became one too many.  My gym visits were the first to be sacrificed followed by my at home workout routines.  In the weeks that followed I became desensitized to the few pounds that crept up on the scale.  In the chaos of the constant busy conceding to the two or three pounds, only to become five and then even a few more.  The line I walked became unbalanced. I felt it physically and emotionally. The voice in my head torn between the dark side that I remembered (and lurked) and the optimist that said you’ll get your control back; in a few weeks, on the first of the month, over the break, at the new year, etc. You let the first five slip by and before you know it the next five begin to up the anti. It was slow... but it was happening.  Once again all to aware, but not going there.  There wasn’t time.  I needed enough time to carve out a schedule, to make it a habit again, to get control.  Another day, another week slips by... and nothing gave, except the scale working it’s way towards a ten pound gain.  

ENOUGH!  What am I doing?!  What was I thinking?!?! Finally - I let it click once again.  ENOUGH!  I am - so NOT going back there!  I was all to tuned in to how easily it could happen.  Finally... I refuse to let “it” happen.  

You can’t worry about making it perfect.  You cannot wait until there is enough time to make the perfect schedule. To make the perfect balance.  You have to concern yourself only with making it happen.  As best as you can  - today.  Just do it.  Start.  Start over.

I can’t get to the gym a few times a week, every week.  But, I’ve finally gone back.  I can’t get the home routine to fit certain days and times on schedule.  But, I can commit to 10 miles a week and make that work.  Make the scale roll back.  

I found the time to "rest" my strappy stilettos and lace up my running shoes. Two point five weeks and 25.3 miles in - I am back in the game - I am doing it.  (Again!) I made myself a priority.  I am redefining the rules, taking back control and reclaiming balance.  Not to mention the added dose of endorphins - there’s still never enough time - but - all is better! It is empowering. 

It is not an epic inadequacy to demand a do-over.   There is no shame in beginning again.  The only failure in starting over is talking and thinking about it rather then doing it.  Just do it. 

KEEP THE PROMISES THAT YOU MAKE TO YOURSELF! ;)

TERRORISTS....

Dawn Boyle

Today is the last day, or shall I say hour of school. I have been waiting for this day since late April. It was way back then when I noticed a complete disconnect. My kids acquired this new whine. I have said this before my children should be hired by the government. They would be great annoyance tools to get information out of the "bad guy", I know this because they have been mastering their skills on me for the past ten years. Their specialty - SLEEP DEPRIVATION.

I have not slept an entire night since September 2000. My brain has become so accustom to this practice that on the few occasions where I have been childless for a night, my body doesn't know what to do. I still wake up every few hours. In addition, I can add my aging bladder which now accounts for 3 additional wake up calls during the night. I feel like I could pass out at any given moment.

A few days ago I started taking back my nights. I have successfully (sorta) removed all extra bodies from my bed. I have explained to them that "Mommy" will be way more fun if she gets some sleep and that I am not to be woken unless someone is bleeding, throwing up, or the house is on fire.

I did a little research and have found out some of the things lack of sleep can do to a person....read below, it explains A LOT!

As per WebMD:

In the short term:

• Decreased Performance and Alertness: Sleep deprivation induces significant reductions in performance and alertness. Reducing your nighttime sleep by as little as one and a half hours for just one night could result in a reduction of daytime alertness by as much as 32%.
• Memory and Cognitive Impairment: Decreased alertness and excessive daytime sleepiness impair your memory and your cognitive ability -- your ability to think and process information.
• Stress Relationships: Disruption of a bed partner's sleep due to a sleep disorder may cause significant problems for the relationship (for example, separate bedrooms, conflicts, moodiness, etc.).
• Poor Quality of Life: You might, for example, be unable to participate in certain activities that require sustained attention, like going to the movies, seeing your child in a school play, or watching a favorite TV show.
• Occupational Injury: Excessive sleepiness also contributes to a greater than twofold higher risk of sustaining an occupational injury.
• Automobile Injury: The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) estimates conservatively that each year drowsy driving is responsible for at least 100,000 automobile crashes, 71,000 injuries, and 1,550 fatalities

In the long term, the clinical consequences of untreated sleep disorders are large indeed. They are associated with numerous, serious medical illnesses, including:

• High blood pressure
• Heart attack
• Heart failure
• Stroke
• Obesity
• Psychiatric problems, including depression and other mood disorders
• Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)
• Mental impairment
• Fetal and childhood growth retardation
• Injury from accidents
• Disruption of bed partner's sleep quality
• Poor quality of life

WOULD YOU LIKE BOTOX WITH THAT?

Marion Pellicano Ambrose


What topic is of concern to almost every 40 something woman? Aging!  Who hasn’t started checking the mirror for the rogue wrinkle or patted the chin to try and regain that tight, firm jawline?  It seems at 40 we all start to have some troublesome symptoms:

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/roseanne-rosanadana-on-smoking/2402/

Looking young has become not only an obsession but a multi-million dollar business! Women (and men) are going to plastic surgeons, GP’s, Dentists, and even Optometrists who advertise Botox injections or laser treatments.Next thing you know we'll be able to get it at Starbuck's! And it’s not only the 40 and over set. Young teens are begging for Botox or plastic surgery! I recently read that on the child beauty queen circuit moms may actually inject their little models with Botox, Restylane, or Juvederm to give them a little edge in competition. dawn's take on this was, Botox for kids, what's next? 

Of course, society says we women must be thin, have huge boobs, silken hair and soft, supple skin. (Men, while under less pressure, worry about hair loss, belly fat, and male enhancement.)

Unfortunately, most of us over 40’s are not the “Cougars” Jillian talks about in "A Walk on the Cougar Side”

We are working mothers with stress and years of wear on our face and bodies. We don’t have the money for nips and tucks, injections or lasers. Our waistlines start spreading, fat does not burn off as easily, we’re more prone to cellulite, we get tired easily, our skin begins to sag and we begin to look older than our age. This is because most of us don/t change our eating habits or lifestyle as we age. It’s necessary to try to speed up our metabolism as we approach 40.

After 40, we are more prone to weight gain since we lose muscle mass, and we also lose bone density which can ultimately lead to osteoporosis. Since our metabolism slows down, there is more fat storage and the average and we gain 1 lb per year in our weight.  Sounds pretty hopeless, but there is good news. Physical activity lowers the risk of heart disease, heart attack and stroke, diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol, improves sleep and reduces stress. It steps up our metabolism and keeps us looking and feeling young. Even walking can make a difference, but strength training can be an important part of the exercise routine. It can help burn up to twice as many calories and body fat and adds muscle mass. It increases flexibility, balance, strength and endurance.

Building strong muscles at this age is most essential, and that is why including strength training in your exercise routine is very important. People who have added strength training to their exercise programs after the age of 30 burn twice as many calories and body fat than people who haven’t. Strength training helps to add muscle mass, increase cardiovascular endurance and firm sagging. This form of training includes physical activity to build strength, balance, flexibility and endurance.

I’ve watched Barbara change her life, her vitality and her appearance and have been inspired by her. She fought the aging process and is beating it back each day. Because of her, I’ve started drastically restricting bad carbs, adding lots of veggies and trying to be as active as my disease allows. I’ve lost 12 pounds so far. Not much compared to Barb’s 90 plus, but I’m on my way! I already have more energy and am sleeping less. I hope that soon my clothes will start to show a difference. I especially hope that in the not too distant future, my husband will look at me and see something of the girl he married 22 years ago, and without the benefit of Botox!