Tony Walker
My He Said for this week is actually a He's Asking.
I need to ask a question and I'm hoping to get some honest answers, even if it means you have to answer using an anonymous name. I hate anonymous but I realize that's the only way some people can post a comment.
The other day I was talking to a woman I know. She's had some health issues over the past 15-20 years. She said that her husband of 20 years has told her that he is leaving her.
She told me that he can't handle the health issues. She says he needs a perfect and healthy wife because HIS issues get in the way of being capable of loving someone who is otherwise.
You got that? It took me a few reads to get it.
At first my reaction to this was, "What a copout! He's a scumbag!"
But then I thought some more.
When I was getting my amputation (which was 6 years ago last week) a very close relative of mine told me to beware... my wife may not love me anymore because I won't be complete. He said he knew someone whose wife split because he was in a wheelchair and she couldn't handle it.
My wife hates me for many reasons but having a prosthetic leg isn't one of them. But this relative was right.... many people try but just can't handle having a spouse who has health issues, has a change in physical appearance, etc.
I know what some of you are thinking... "For better or worse, in sickness and in health...." But as someone who has more than my share of health issues I can tell you that even if you said "I do" you really don't know if "you do or don't" until you're actually in that situation. It's a very tough and stressful thing to go through.
So tell us what you think.
What do you think is the reason why someone can't handle being in a situation like that?
Do you know anyone who couldn't handle a spouse's issues?
Were you involved in a situation like this?
Or do you think that this reasoning is a copout?
Editors Note: Check out She Said... where DRL writer Jillian B Hart answers Tony
