BULLYING MOMS....

What makes a mom a bully?
There seems to be an assumption that since moms are often the ones working with the kids to combat childhood bullying, they must be immune from the problem. Not at all. We may call it adult cliques, or even put it off to the social structure of the town, but what makes a bully is the same in every place and every age. One website lists bullying as "persistent unwelcome behavior, mostly using unwarranted or invalid criticism, nit-picking, fault-finding, also exclusion, isolation, being singled out and treated differently, being shouted at, humiliated, excessive monitoring, having verbal and written warnings imposed, and much more." How often has that happened in your community. Heck, in your playgroup?

Call it what it is: You won't be popular, but bullying issues need to be addressed at all levels, for the health of the whole community.

Be prepared for backlash: The bullying behaviors you are trying to squelch may become more intense at first in response. No one likes having their less than stellar behaviors called out; they can get defensive.

Don't stoop to their level: Engaging in some of the same negative behaviors can feel like the easy thing to do, especially when the bullying behaviors are directed at you. It's not, however, the right thing to do.

Look for and accept support where you can: I bet that if you bring it up, someone will quietly contact you in support. Maybe more than one, and maybe that small group can be the genesis of change going forward.

Work for a solution:
Try, if at all possible, to focus on the end result, the desired positive outcome. Ask for more discourse on the topic, again and again if you have to. Ask for the training materials that are used with the kids to be used in your group.

FISHNETS - THE HATERS

Dawn Boyle

There is something I would like to address. Some of you may have noticed that DRL has some "fans" that do not say the nicest things to me or about me. In fact a few people have approached me asking how I am taking the nasty comments. I must admit a few weeks ago I was blindsided by this. I didn't understand why someone would put such horrible things out there. It took me a few blows from our "annoymous" and "fake named" readers for me to come to terms with it. I am sharing what I have figured out not only with you all but with my daughters as well. Never too early to shed some light on the envitablilty of some people in this world and create a thicker skin.

You can't deal with people who hate you because if somebody hates you that's something they're dealing with. Not you. It's rather irrelevant that you're the target of their hate.

You're fighting an uphill battle that you'll never win. It's like thinking you have enough strength to lift something impossible.

You have to allow the hatred- and not absorb it on yourself.

You can tell yourself whatever you like to help you deal with it better.  The easiest solution is to just let it go and let them be the bad guy.  If somebody is hating you- the hatred always destroys the hater and never the hated. As long as you empower yourself to be strong enough not to let it destroy you. 

In other words..."STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HARM ME".  I am empowered not to let them!

Thanks for the concern and keep reading!!!