CLASS FULL OF BULLIES

Dawn Boyle

Last week a friend posted this, a story about a New York teacher who was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform. She had the children take out a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it and really mess it up, not to rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry. Now, even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bullies another child, they may say they’re sorry, but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home.

THE SURPRISE VICTIM - Marion Pellicano Ambrose

I have the pleasure of spending a few hours each week with a very smart, young man,

doing some enrichment work with him. We do lot of Math, Science, Writing, and

Reading ,but today we took a little side track.

I had my computer open to “favorites” looking for an environmental game site that we

were going to explore when he spotted a site on Bullying. He immediately wanted to

see it and talk about what you can do if you’re being bullied. I was really shocked. This is a good looking, personable, well rounded 10 year old who would be the last one I would think would be bullied, and yet, the story came tumbling out.

He’s been the victim of bullying since 2nd grade. Other kids have tried to get him to do things he knows are wrong, have called him names, and have spread rumors about him

behind his back. His parents have worked with him and with the school to stop the

Bullying, sometimes to no avail. They've gone above and beyond to protect their son while still teaching him to stand up and be assertive when necessary.

From all he told me, he’s handled it well, ,doing all the right things, but the fact remains that he’s had to deal with the problem repeatedly. He described one incident where

another student grabbed his wrist and twisted it,telling him to say “You’re the greatest

and better than me.” My young friend stood straight, looked the bully in the face and

said “NO” in a loud ,clear, assertive voice. Luckily the bully tired of the event when he

saw that he wasn’t going to win .That was direct bullying, and it stopped for the time

being ,but the indirect bullying continued. ( telling others not to play with my friend,

spreading rumors about him, etc.)

We talked at length today about techniques to use, ways to avoid being bullied and when it’s time to tell. One of the hardest concepts for kids is to learn the difference between telling and tattling. No kid wants to be a “snitch” but they have to learn not to allow themselves to become victims either. We identified bullying “hot spots” and I found that his bus is a major bullying location. Sitting in direct sight of the driver and surrounding yourself with friends can often nip that in the bud.

There are many things we, as parents and teachers, can do to help our children

avoid being the victim of bullies. One important factor is to teach all our children to