THE SURPRISE VICTIM - Marion Pellicano Ambrose

I have the pleasure of spending a few hours each week with a very smart, young man,

doing some enrichment work with him. We do lot of Math, Science, Writing, and

Reading ,but today we took a little side track.

I had my computer open to “favorites” looking for an environmental game site that we

were going to explore when he spotted a site on Bullying. He immediately wanted to

see it and talk about what you can do if you’re being bullied. I was really shocked. This is a good looking, personable, well rounded 10 year old who would be the last one I would think would be bullied, and yet, the story came tumbling out.

He’s been the victim of bullying since 2nd grade. Other kids have tried to get him to do things he knows are wrong, have called him names, and have spread rumors about him

behind his back. His parents have worked with him and with the school to stop the

Bullying, sometimes to no avail. They've gone above and beyond to protect their son while still teaching him to stand up and be assertive when necessary.

From all he told me, he’s handled it well, ,doing all the right things, but the fact remains that he’s had to deal with the problem repeatedly. He described one incident where

another student grabbed his wrist and twisted it,telling him to say “You’re the greatest

and better than me.” My young friend stood straight, looked the bully in the face and

said “NO” in a loud ,clear, assertive voice. Luckily the bully tired of the event when he

saw that he wasn’t going to win .That was direct bullying, and it stopped for the time

being ,but the indirect bullying continued. ( telling others not to play with my friend,

spreading rumors about him, etc.)

We talked at length today about techniques to use, ways to avoid being bullied and when it’s time to tell. One of the hardest concepts for kids is to learn the difference between telling and tattling. No kid wants to be a “snitch” but they have to learn not to allow themselves to become victims either. We identified bullying “hot spots” and I found that his bus is a major bullying location. Sitting in direct sight of the driver and surrounding yourself with friends can often nip that in the bud.

There are many things we, as parents and teachers, can do to help our children

avoid being the victim of bullies. One important factor is to teach all our children to

COLLEGE BAKE SALE RACIST AND SEXIST?

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

I read the following post on Yahoo News. Almost as interesting as the article were the comments that followed. I wondered how our DRL readers would react. What do you think? Please consider a comment here!

A California students' group has sparked a racism and sexism row over plans for a bake sale in which people are charged according to their ethnic background and gender.

Campus Republicans at the University of California, Berkeley say critics have overreacted to their event planned for this week, which they insist is a protest over affirmative action.

The group's Facebook page lists the price of baked goods at the sale according to race: $2 for whites, $1.50 for Asians, $1 for Hispanics, $0.75 for blacks and $0.25 for Native Americans.

"$0.25 FOR ALL WOMEN!" it added.

Campus Republican President Shawn Lewis said the idea of the "Increase Diversity Bake Sale" was to highlight a legislative bill to let California public universities consider race and gender in their admissions process.

He said they planned to go ahead with the sale on Tuesday despite protests and threats. "We didn't expect the volume, the amount of response that we got," he told CNN.

"In the first few hours, hundreds of posts on our Facebook page. And the tone of some of the responses -- we expected people to be upset. We didn't expect personal threats to be made.

"They were implicit and explicit threats made to the organizers of the event, from burning down the table to throwing our baked goods at us and other kinds of physical threats."

But the famous US college's student Democrats president Anais LaVoie has asked for an apology.

LeRoy M 30 minutes ago

Bars have been giving discounts to ladies for decades. Isn't that sexism too?

shystrength about an hour ago

This is going to be the best bake sale ever.

Its Time 46 minutes ago

The only smart people in the entire school. ahahahahaha ahahahahaha ahahahahaha
Pure genius !!!!

Rat Fink McRoy 46 minutes ago

It's okay for universities and employers to do exactly that but not okay at the bake sale? Maybe if they just call it a Diversity Bake Sale no one would complain. That's how the Universities and Companies do it.

thumper_scott 8 minutes ago

Well, it certainly proved one thing: people sure are sensitive these days.

tom 12 minutes ago

The truth aggravates the liars and uninformed. I thought some famous person once said something about his kids being judged by their character and not their color of their skin. Probably some white racist guy I bet!

Stoopid Yanks 17 minutes ago

fokking racist yanks, nothing new here

k.p. 34 minutes ago

Commendable motives to diversify Congress, piss poor planning and implementation.

lightspeed 53 minutes ago

do they give out free slaps to ?? lol how you get it depends on gender or race !

Moondog 31 minutes ago

p.s I'm not a bigot I hate evryone equally.

jill_roberta about an hour ago

I applaud these people for showing up the absurdity of what AA has morphed into. It's really sad how America has become a place obsessed with race and gender........rather than ability, talent and qualifications........

Moondog 34 minutes ago

what about the black caucus all of the black expose and other stuff that excludes and evryone else,I live in Fl, it's rampant, if you were to try to have an all white group or assemblee the blacks would scream to the high heaven's that it's ufair becouse there are no blacks, but if you leave them... More

wes t 4 hours ago

Imagine the reaction if the price scale was reversed.

fixit 4 hours ago

All the white men will be sitting in the car and the women will do the buying of the goodies! That would work for me! And i am white,by the way!

Roller about an hour ago

The truth is a painful thing isn't it? Those students should be applauded for exposing the perennial stupidity of political correctness and leftist nanny-state social engineering that has brainwashed millions worldwide. That thinking is not of the people comrade!

abulemic 4 hours ago

Many seem to be missing the point that it is a racially inspired piece of legislation that they are parodying. The legislation is racist and the parody is a potent political tool.
Get some insight and maybe a sense of humor.

http://news.yahoo.com/us-students-spark-racism-row-bake-sale-192617172.html

ANOTHER LIFE LOST, IT DIDN'T GET BETTER FOR JAMEY!

Marion Pellicano Ambrose



"I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. What do I have to do people will listen to me?"



Once again, bullying takes a life! 14 year old Jamey Rodemeyer committed suicide on September 18^th. Jamey had been bullied for years because of his sexuality, but family and friends felt he was handling it extremely well. Jamey had posted his own “It Gets Better” video on YouTube quoting Lady Gaga and trying to encourage other bullied kids that they can get past the cruelty of others. Jamey started high school three weeks ago in Williamsville, NY, and apparently the bullying grew to the point where even this positive, forward looking teen could no longer stand the cruelty and indifference to his suffering. Look at just one of the many posts this young man was subjected to every day:

"JAMIE IS STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND [sic] UGLY. HE MUST DIE!" one post said, according to local reports. Another read, "I wouldn't care if you died. No one would. So just do it :) It would make everyone WAY more happier!"

Jamey, who was an avid Lady Gaga fan, had a collage of himself at different ages with Lady Gaga in the background. He quoted her on his “It Gets Better” video and even wrote the lyrics to one of her songs on his Facebook page the weekend he committed suicide. “Don’t forget me when I come crying to heaven’s door”.

Lady Gaga posted on Twitter and called for everyone to rally and bring an end to bullying . She wrote:

“The past days I’ve spent reflecting, crying, and yelling. I have so much anger, It is hard to feel love when cruelty takes someone’s life. Jamey Rodemeyer, 14 yrs old, took his life because of bullying. Bullying must become illegal. It is a hate crime."

Lady Gaga announced that she will be meeting with President Obama to discuss the problem stating that she will not stop fighting and that this generation has the power to end bullying. Lady Gaga herself had been a victim of bullying as a child and has been a strong advocate for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender community.

"It didn't sink in with me how bullying affected me until later in my life. I knew that it affected me deeply but it wasn't until a little bit later that I realized how much it affect me and how much it was still very present," she said.

According to Tracy Rodemeyer, Jamey’s mom, Jamey will be buried Saturday in a Lady Gaga t-shirt which says: “Born This Way”.

Oddly enough, Jamey’s death coincides with a national summit this week sponsored by the U.S. Department of Education in Washington, D.C., an effort to stem the toll of bullying school children. Let’s hope and pray that the politicians, teachers, psychologists, and families present will work to end this practice and MAKE BULLYING A CRIME!

Information sources:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/22/lady-gaga-wants-to-make-bully-illegal_n_975653.html

http://abcnews.go.com/health/jamey-rodemeyer-suicide-ny-police-open-criminal-investigation/story?id=14580832

http://technorati.com/lifestyle/article/it-didnt-get-better-for-jamey/

TO TWEET OR NOT TO TWEET

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

OK, I happen to be an average, fairly intelligent, well-educated woman of the world, but I just can’t get what the big thing is about Twitter. I’ve researched (Twitter for Dummies, numerous articles and “how to’s) which made me even less interested in Tweeting or Tooting or whatever they call it. OMG: branding, “tweeting retweetable tweets”, tweet fodder, hash tags, it’s just too much work! Also, from what I can see, people who Tweet document every bloody detail of their lives. Talk about TMI!  

“12:15pm Stopped by Steak and Shake”   “12:30 Waitress slow”12:30 Frisco melt@ Steak and Shake”   “12:45 Back to work”   “1:15 SO bloated and nauseous-”  “1:40 in BR, can’t go” 

ENOUGH ALREADY! If you are irregular, tell your doctor. I really don’t want to know! I just don’t get why people think the world is interested in these minute details!  I did enjoy an article I read on “Tweeting Too Hard” (see link below) It claims to be “A site for shaming the twitteringly self-important. Loved it!

So maybe I’m just getting old and resistant to change, but give me good old Facebook any day! I can keep up with IMPORTANT and INTERESTING news from family and friends without having to hear about their toilet habits.  I hope Twitter Tweeters will not take offense at this post. I believe, to each his or her own, but I just can’t tolerate taking time to twitter terribly tacky tweets on Twitter.   ( Now say that 3X fast!)

Tweeting Too Hard May 19, 2009 | Eric Eldon
http://venturebeat.com/2009/05/19/tweeting-too-hard-a-site-for-shaming-those-twittering-self-promoters/

Twitter 101 By Aliza Sherman

http://gigaom.com/collaboration/tweeting-101-a-twitter-cheat-sheet/

DID FACEBOOK RUIN THE MYSTERY...

DRL Is Thrilled to Have "Ms. Sticky Sweet" Posting 

Her First Original Blog...  Way to go!

PATTY B

Did Facebook ruin the mystery of what we use to call ... High School Reunions???

So I am doing what most of us, typically stay-at-home Moms do, running errands when listening to my Sirus radio in my car and a question was brought up during one of my favorite morning talk shows. Now in this technical era of computers and Facebook... Is it really necessary to attend those High School reunions we use to look forward after 10, 15, even 20 or 25 years after graduating what was suppose to be the most memorable times in our teen lives? Is the mystery gone? Has Facebook killed our longing for live interaction with those from our past that we once so looked forward seeing at these High School reunions?

I mean we are almost all guilty of looking or searching for former classmates on Facebook. Wanting to see how he or she turned out all these years. Have they gained weight? Did they lose hair? Are they single or married or in a complex relationship? Did those most likely to succeed as our yearbooks had predicted, do just that?. Did our Homecoming Queen and King stay together or was it splitsville from the first day of college? Where did they finally move to and call home? Did the super smart classmates create something fabulous or cure some disease? Did the jocks make it to professional team status? Did those in the Fine Arts make it to Broadway or the likes of Hollywood?

Most all of these, if not many of these questions, can simply be answered by looking at ones information on Facebook. And, of course the pictures people post they show their important things as well. Where they have been, their kids, who they have met ---it is all there with just a click of a button. No need to fly half way across the country to return to one's home town for a usually well over-priced dinner.  No need to start dieting or getting in shape for fear of what others who you haven’t seen in years think of you at first glance. Are the egos still going to be there like well over inflated balloons? Will it still be should I dare say the word... “clicky”? Not to mention, it's bad enough if you are nervous about attending, but then, "they" make us wear those name tags with our senior pictures on them. Seriously like everyone wants to have that photo to compare to all night long. Blah!

So my questions to you...
Will you still go given the choice now in our age of computers and of all that can be seen and learned without going "live"?
Will you attend your High School reunion given the chance or will you stay home in your pj’s and just click on to your Facebook account wondering how your former classmates live?
Will you share your thoughts with us here at DRL?  Comments welcomed!

WITH GREAT POWER.....

Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: "With great power comes great responsibility."

Peter Parker was talking about his newly found super powers as Spiderman when he said these words, but when I hear them I think of the power we all now have through our postings on social media such as Facebook and Twitter.

I’ve read too many posts that twist facts or even state falsehoods as if they were facts. Unfortunately , many people believe whatever they see in print and are purposely misled by such tactics. It’s certainly common practice in political posts, as noted in a You Tube video called “.Alternate Reality”

The system has gone mad, everyday newspapers and TV carry more and more stories of brazen politicians and executives who have no fear and act as though they are above the law. Even when their own words [at times on tape] confirm their scheming, they continue to treat the public like we're stupid.

It seems the government also wants in on the social media propaganda bandwagon. According to radio celebrity Alex Jones, the Defense Department unveiled its Social Media in Strategic Communication (SMISC) program. It’s an attempt to get better at both detecting and conducting propaganda campaigns on social media.This is more than just checking the trending topics on Twitter. The Defense Department wants to deeply grok social media dynamics. So SMISC will be aimed at discovering and tracking the “formation, development and spread of ideas and concepts (memes)” on social media. http://www.prisonplanet.com/pentagon-wants-a-social-media-propaganda-machine.html

  DRL takes our responsibility seriously, using social media to educate, inform, inspire and enlighten as well as give our readers the opportunity to voice their own opinions, whether they agree with ours or not. We also use this forum to encourage positive action, as in The Generosity Game Meme http://delayedreactionlounge.blogspot.com/2011/06/generosity-game-meme.html ) or Meet Pongo and Join DRL’s Team to Help Him and The Center For Great Apes (http://delayedreactionlounge.blogspot.com/2011/06/meet-pongo-and-join-drls-team-to-help.html)

Barbara’s Soul Food attempts to lighten the soul and encourage our readers to “keep the promises you make to yourself”                                                                ( http://delayedreactionlounge.blogspot.com/2011/07/soul-food_24.html) 
and Patty’s Sticky Sweet (http://delayedreactionlounge.blogspot.com/2011/07/sticky-sweet_24.html)  just makes you feel good! Tony has shared his stories with us to help us understand issues that we might not have considered, such as For Me It’s My Little Girl (http://delayedreactionlounge.blogspot.com/2011/03/tony-walker-almost-everyone-has.html). Dawn gives us a wake up call as to what’s happening to our daughters’ childhoods with In Vogue 

I’m proud to be a writer for Delayed Reaction Lounge. It’s a place where every effort is made to present truthful, enlightening information as well as entertaining, funny, even spooky reading as well! I hope you enjoy reading as much as we all enjoy writing for you.

Let us know how you feel. What are your favorite features? Is there something you would like to read about that we haven’t covered yet? If there’s something you really like, let us know and we’ll keep it coming. If there’s something you think needs to be said, tell us and we’ll try to say it for you! The Lounge is for everyone and everyone is welcome! Thanks for stopping in!

KIDPOWER: TIPS FOR PARENTS

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

Just because school is over
 doesn't meanbullying stops!

As I did my research for my article on bullying, I came across an excellent site that offered links to many articles and information on books on the subject. I wrote and asked permission to reprint this article on DRL because I was impressed with it. They immediately gave their blessing and we are grateful for their kindness. I also recommend their new book for parents (“Bullying – What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe”  ) I hope you will find this article and the book as helpful as I did.

http://delayedreactionlounge.blogspot.com/2011/05/its-wicked-world-when-bullying-kills-re.html 

http://www.kidpower.org/index.html

Bullying Prevention

Eight Effective People Safety Actions Adults Can Take 

By Irene van der Zande, Kidpower Executive Director

(Please Note: For copyright information and reproduction guidelines, please click here.)Download PDF for printing or sharing

Bullying can be prevented and stopped if enough adults take action. Everyone deserves to feel emotionally and physically safe at school, at home and in the community. Here are eight effective People Safety actions from Kidpower that you can use to protect the young people in your life from bullying.

Bullies find strength in numbers

1. Address Bullying – It’s not Harmless

Bullying behavior – whether it’s through threatening words or gestures, physically hurting, name-calling, mimicking, harassing, or shunning (isolating someone) – is a destructive force in the lives of too many kids.

Being the victim of a bully is an attack on a young person’s self esteem and joy in life. Being the bully allows a child to build behavior that will be socially and professionally destructive later in life. Witnessing bullying creates an upsetting distracting environment in which to play and work and learn.

Potential bullies, victims and witnesses can learn to be assertive rather than aggressive or passive in dealing with problems that they experience directly or that they see happening.

2. Make Bullying Against the Rules

Make sure that your child's school has a clear written Violence and Harassment Prevention Policy that everyone agrees to uphold. Pay attention when kids are acting upset with each other and take the lead in helping them develop skills for handling conflict.

Set an example for your children by not allowing people to bully you and by exercising the self-control necessary not to bully others. At home, work at stopping bullying behavior with the same commitment with which you’d stop someone from throwing all the dishes on the floor and breaking them.

3. Teach Kids to Act Aware, Calm, and Confident

Bullies pick on kids who act scared, oblivious, or defensive. An alert, assertive attitude can help possible victims and witnesses stop most bullying before it starts.

"We were just kidding around!"
is still bullying!

4. Teach Kids Target Denial Skills

Target denial is an official martial arts technique that means, "Don't be there!" Target denial means not giving a bully a physical advantage by being too close. For example, kids can move away from someone who they know is a problem.

Target denial means not giving a bully an emotional handle. One technique is to leave by smiling and waving and saying cheerfully, "No, thanks!" very calmly and sincerely instead of acting scared or angry.

5. Teach Kids the Protective Power of Words

Kids tell us that trying to just ignore it when someone says something mean to them doesn't really work. Stop serious name-calling with the same commitment you use when stopping serious hitting. Teach kids to protect themselves from hurtful words by imagining throwing them into a trashcan instead of taking them inside their hearts or their heads.

Teach kids not to let insults, rude behavior, or guilt trips trigger them into feeling intimidated or emotionally coerced by a bully. Kids need to learn how not to let what others say or do control their choices. They also need to learn how not to behave in emotionally damaging ways towards others. Teach kids how to set clear strong verbal boundaries in a respectful assertive way with people they know.

6. Teach Kids to Defend Themselves Physically

To be effective in using other bully prevention tactics, kids need to know that they can protect themselves physically. As a last resort when they cannot leave or get help, kids need to know if, when and how they can hurt someone else to stop that person from hurting them.

7. Teach Kids to Get Help

Be someone your kids can come to with their problems without fear of you overreacting or belittling them, or lecturing or getting mad at them. Even if the issues they bring might seem trivial to you they’re big to your child.

Most of the time kids just need someone to listen so they won't feel alone. Being able to talk about problems can help a child figure out what to do and put things into perspective – getting our kids into the habit of talking to us can also alert us to more serious issues.

Practice what to do in a variety
of bullying situation with your child.

8. Give Kids the Chance to Practice

Kids learn more by doing than by being told what to do. Programs such as Kidpower and Teenpower give kids the chance to develop skills that can change their lives in a few short hours. We also offer educational resources to prepare adults on how to present and practice these skills with their children.

Note: This article is an excerpt from The KIDPOWER Book for Caring Adults: Personal Safety, Self-Protection, Confidence, and Advocacy for Young People, which includes step-by-step explanations of how to practice the skills mentioned as well as over 100 pages about the underlying issues that need to be addressed, stories, and how to use People Safety skills to prevent and stop most bullying.

Kidpower’s new  e-book, “Bullying – What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe” provides practical tools that adults can use right away to prevent and stop bullying behavior in their families, schools, and youth organizations. Written in an entertaining and accessible style, the vivid stories and step-by-step explanations of what to say and do are relevant for addressing bullying with all young people, from toddlers to teenagers, and are even useful in dealing with adult-to-adult bullying.

http://www.kidpower.org/store/e-book.html#bullying

REMEMBER: TAKE YOUR CHILDREN SERIOUSLY IF THEY SAY THE ARE BEING BULLIED!

Many parents regret saying the words: "Be a big boy.", "Suck it up.", "Stop being a baby.", "Just ignore them." and other cliches we say rather than face the situation and give our children the tools and self confidence they need to deal with bullying!

LUNCH TIME POLL

Dawn Boyle

A New Jersey School has banned photographs of students from their school being posted on ANY social media network. This is to avoid a number of issues we now face in this sexting, bullying, harassment world we are now living in.

Do you feel this is a smart move or does it take away from our freedom?