Deanna; The Unnatural Mother
The debate of Working Mom Vs. Stay at Home Mom has been going on for Centuries. Starting from the Cavewoman; I am sure as shit that Betty resented Wilma, who got to stay home while Betty was out foraging for food and supplies, all because Barney was too busy trying to invent the wheel, or making fire or goofing off at that Buffalo Lodge, Fred meanwhile was climbing up the Rock Quarry ladder, getting ready for the next promotion. Poor Betty, always in Wilma’s shadow.
This is an age old debate that I personally don’t have a clear stance on, as I am a Mom that has done both - at several different stages of my children short lives. I flip-flop on this topic constantly. However, to rip off Oprah, this is what I KNOW FOR SURE, not my neighbor, nor my best friend but WHAT I BELIEVE the realities to be, did I make that clear enough? I’m not going to get attacked by some right wing conservative mom militia now am I?
Stay at Home Mom
•I had a ton of guilt if I wasn’t turning out the laundry as fast as stealth bomber, whipping up gourmet meals a la Mario Batali and if the house wasn’t sparkling like the Chrysler Building, I’d go into hysterics. Okay, so let’s be honest here, this is what I thought I was doing, however, not sure if I lived up to these expectations but I certainly had guilt about it! •That my entire existence was to be a Mom and Wife, I 100 and 50% felt exactly like a 50’s housewife sans the crazy-up do. I’d cater to my kids, wipe asses, and make sure there was a cold martini waiting at the door for my weary hubby after a hard day of work. Is this the absolute truth? See last sentence above.
•I felt extremely guilty buying anything other than cleaning supplies or food. Gosh forbid I bought a $7.99 t-shirt at Target, the guilt would consume me; I’d start turning tricks to make-up for the loss of income thus spending more time away from my sons…which in turn created a serious vicious cycle of guilt, STD testing… you know the drill.
•The guilt was even more overwhelming when I went to the gym. I felt that I was dragging them around, and if didn’t spend the time engaging, playing and making sure they were entertained at all times I deemed myself a terrible mommy.
•Totally used the “I can’t take these kids for another minute” tirade way too often.
•Became extremely selfish about “me” time, and in some instances, took the opportunity to roam around Target by myself so I could escape everyone, I didn’t care if I just had to buy tampons – it was a welcome opportunity, and I took it and ran!
•Fashion Don’t For Sure! I had the same get-ups for each day of the week, the only variation was the color. Nothing new came into the rotation and if it did it’d throw the entire universe out of wack; yes the ENTIRE Universe, I am sure you felt the tilt!! I did make sure that I was ironed, showered, and had a dab of make-up on. JEESH...give me some credit.
•Never felt RUSHED… ‘cause I never had to be anywhere, and if I had plans, or had to cart the buggers around to activities, or doctor’s appointments, I had all the time in the world to get there. It doesn’t matter that I was late 90% of the time; the fact of the matter is that I had the time to get there in time.
