PARANORMAL PUB: HALLOWEEN PARTY GAME

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

Want to do something different at your Halloween party this year?  Try a game that is better than Charades and can be spookier than the Ouija board! Try a Halloween Roleplaying game!

Roleplaying games have become extremely popular with college age men and women. They meet weekly and come up with scenarios, characters and create complex plots that continue over several weeks. One person acts as the leader to set and enforce “rules of play” and who is responsible for keeping the record of all that goes on.

The Halloween roleplaying I am suggesting is much less complex and easier to do. You can copy some “adventure seeds” or what we teachers used to call “story starters” on index cards and each player adds to the story. Characters can be introduced and twists and turns can be added. The group may work as small teams or individuals. A timer is set for 15 minutes and when time is up, the story must be given a conclusion. Prizes can be given for the best conclusion, the best character created or the cleverest contribution to the plot.

Here are some sites to help you come up with adventure seeds!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056552/

http://teacher.scholastic.com/lessonrepro/lessonplans/profbooks/starters.htm

http://hallowkj.ifastnet.com/hallnr/story-sb8.html

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ZOMBIES INVADE FORT MEYERS, FLORIDA

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

Fort Meyers, Florida hoped to set a ghoulish world record for the Guinness World Book of Records, on October 15^th at ZOMBIECON 2011. The event calls for a gathering of the living dead to take over Downtown Ft. Meyers for an evening. Last year’s gathering was estimated to have been over 10,000 zombies, which unofficially beat the former record. This year, organizers of the event planned to make it “The Official Largest Gathering of Zombies”. According to Guinness, the World Record for the “Largest Gathering of Zombies” was set on October 30, 2010 in Asbury Park, New Jersey, with 4,093 participants.

In order to satisfy Guinness, organizers had to thoroughly document the attempt and adhere to a number of regulations. First, all zombies had to be registered by signing in and receiving a wristband with a unique number. Registration took place on Oct 15th from 5:00 PM until 8:45PM. At 9:00 PM sharp, all registered zombies were to report to “The Red Zone” on FIRST STREET (between Broadway & Jackson). The Goon Squad helped to facilitate the movement of all infected zombies into the designated “quarantined area”. All “survivors” (those not wearing zombie makeup) were asked to step off of the street and onto the sidewalk. During this time, survivors were able to seek refuge in the sanctuary of the Patio de Leon, or in any of the local bars and restaurants. Once all zombies were contained within The Red Zone, the official time keepers marked the start of the world record attempt with a loud signal. All zombies were required to stay within the designated area for the duration. Once 10 minutes had elapsed, a second signal proclaimed the end of the attempt. Zombies were then allowed to rejoin the living, and the party continued. All documentation

VW's GOING APE!

 “VW’s Going Ape 2011” is a Charity Event benefitting the Wauchula Center for Great Apes.  The event will be held in Wauchula Florida, on October 23rd, 2011, on the grounds of the wildlife sanctuary.

 The car show will be open to all models of Volkswagen and Porsche automobiles, from all years. It will be people’s choice style judging with an emphasis as much on the location of the show as the show itself.  Included in your car show entry will be a limited tour of the center, with an option for a more depth tour being available,

The Center for Great Apes’ mission is to provide a permanent sanctuary for orangutans and chimpanzees who have been retired from the entertainment and research industries, or who are no longer wanted as pets. The Center provides care with dignity in a safe, healthy, and enriching environment for great apes in need of lifetime care.

 This event is 100% for charity event, staffed and planned by volunteers that believe in the accomplishments of the center and its founder Patti Ragan. This is our way of welcoming the VW and Porsche community to get involved and come see what the center is all about! 

 More information will be posted on CFG's site as well as links for online registration and vendor/sponsor information.

 Please take and acquaint yourself with this great cause and watch the short video. You'll love it! We appreciate your interest in this new event and hope to see you there!

http://www.centerforgreatapes.org/

DAWN BOYLE....FISHNETS STICKING TO NAIL POLISH

Dawn Boyle

This past Wednesday I had an hour free and decided to go to a "SHE-SHE" nail spa near my house. I have been there a few times before. In fact, last year I got a rather large gift certificate from friends. I figured since it's coming up on the year mark I better use it up.

When you walk in there is a receptionist who asks what services you are there for. I requested a manicure, pedicure and eyebrow wax. I was ushered to the color station where I chose the polish for my nails, a very handsome (what would be the equivalent of a Asian Justin Beiber) took my pocketbook and cell phone and escorted me to a pedestal for my pedicure and handed me a menu. I looked directly into his eyes and said "I only want a regular pedicure and a French manicure". He nodded and proceeded to begin on my toes.

About 5 minutes into the treatment Ryan tells me that he is using a special brush on my heels to eliminate dry skin. I laid back and enjoyed being pampered. Once I was done I was taken over to the manicure area. I was introduced to Suki who did a wonderful job on my nails. She asked if I would like a massage, I replied no and was heading for the wax room.

Upon completion I returned to the drying station. A woman came over to me and started rubbing my shoulders. I was probably the most relaxed that I have been in a long time....that is until I was checking out. I was handed a bill for $67.00. See every little extra thing they did to me was a charge...when I looked at the menu I registered $13.00 for a French Manicure, $10.00 for a regular pedicure and $7.00 for an eyebrow wax. Something wasn't right. My calculations would be less than half of the bill sitting there before me. I asked the receptionists why it was so much more than I expected...she replied that the special callus brush was an additional 10.00. That the massage was an additional $10.00 and that they used a citrus something or other on my hands for age spots that was an additional $17.00.  My jaw hit the floor. I couldn't believe how I was bamboozled by this place. I shook my head and handing my gift certificate to the woman. I was steaming mad at myself for tipping out after each service was completed as high as I did.

In the end I learned a lesson...AGAIN - NOTHING IN LIFE IS FREE! Heading back to my normal mani/pedi place...they don't have any bells or whistles, but they certainly don't try to screw me either. I know that what I paid at the Super Spa I could have had mine and the girls nails and toes done. LIVE AND LEARN...OVER AND OVER AGAIN! OH AND I DON'T HAVE AGE SPOTS!

THIS YEAR'S MOST POPULAR ADULT HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

Last year it was Sarah Palin, Harry Potter, the Mad Hatter, Iron Man and the Queen of Hearts that dominated the Halloween costume scene.  Now, for Halloween 2011, the themes for costumes will be inspired by movies such as the newest Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows (part 1 and 2). Children too, are choosing to be dementors, Hogwarts students and wizards. Another popular movie based costume will be Captain America and the Green Hornet for men and Alice in Wonderland and the Red Queen from the Johnny Depp movie.

A theme that has become popular over the past 3 years is that of zombies. Costumes come is many ranges of styles. You can be a bloody, gory zombie or even a sexy one (still with rotting flesh of course!). Zombies have become a social craze with many cities holding “Zombie Walks”. ( http://delayedreactionlounge.blogspot.com/2011/05/zombie-mania.html )  There is even a new ATV series based on Zombies!

Another popular costume will be Charlie Sheen. He’s been in the news so much that his drug abuse and wild lifestyle has become the subject of jokes, especially for TV comedians like Jay Leno and Conan O’Brian.

Another timeless costume theme is Pirates. Pirates have always been popular, but with the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, they have reached an all-time high. Hmmm, another Johnny Depp inspired theme!

My vote for the best costume theme of 2011 is Angry Birds! So many people are hooked on the game and the costumes are easy to make or if you choose to purchase, they are fairly inexpensive. Throw one on and carry a pig stuffed animal and you’ll be the hit of the party!

As usual, the costume stores are packed with “sexy nurse”, “sexy Alice”, “sexy maid” ……. In other words, it’s hard to find a decent costume for women that isn’t cut down to your belly button and up to your… well, you know! I know that I don’t have the shape for these costumes, but I really don’t think I’d want to wear one if I did! They have to be uncomfortable and as far as I’m concerned that they take away from the spirit of Halloween. It’s not a time to be a femme fatale; it’s a time to be scary, funny, cute or gross! One of my favorite things is answering the door to little trick or treaters in my costume. They love it when I’m a witch or a fairy tale character! I doubt they would appreciate a half-naked sexy Snow White! Just saying!

This year the costume industry will have over 1 Billion dollars in sales. Much of that income will come from adult costumes since more grownups are dressing up and joining in the fun!

 What will you and your kids be dressing up as this year? Let us know and send us a picture! Oh, and Happy Halloween!

PARENTING 101 - By Deanna

Texting…It’s Not Just For Teenagers

I love and hate texting for one reason and one reason only: Communication. Texting is fun, it’s quick, and it’s easy. I can fire off a text to make someone laugh faster than Mario Andretti at the Indy. In my youth, I’d go to any length to make someone laugh, I actually spent a full year in therapy trying to undo why I’d randomly moon my friends or drive through a toll-booth topless. With texting SWOOP it’s easy and it doesn’t cost me my dignity. On the other hand, what a frickin' distraction; I decided to make a quick stop in Target to pick up last minute baking items for the three year olds now four year olds birthday party. All I needed was brownie mix, quick and easy run in & run out, 10 minutes top, throw kids in the cart, race to the aisle as if I am on “Supermarket Sweep” and call it a day. The first mistake was not throwing the kids in the cart fell to their big blue puppy dog eyes and plea’s of “I’ll be good, I’ll hold your hand, I promise”. Now the four year old is running rampage in the baking aisle, sweat is pouring down my neck as I dodge brownie mix, my hand is numb because I’m white knuckling my phone (gosh forbid I miss a text), then as I grab the little one by the collar my hand slips and I hit the floor. As I am going down the box of brownies hits my head and my seven year old explodes laughter. While I try to recover I can see the back of the four year old I as he hightails it down the aisle towards the mini marshmallows and guess what? The phone is still in my hand. Now that’s talent.

I blame my bruised ass-bone on texting; I can’t sit for a week but guess what… I can text! Texting has definitely brought my multi-tasking skills to a whole new level – now I have even more balls in the air, balls that I am certainly not catching. Unfortunately, it’s not me who suffers, it’s my poor kids. In my defense, I figure I’m already screwing them up, might as well throw a little more on their plate, I mean they have a mother who works full time, has enough guilt to fill Yankee Stadium, can barely get out the door showered, who screams more than she likes, and now they have to have to deal with a texting addiction? They’ll be in therapy anyway, may as well lay it on as thick as I can, if I had to go to therapy they have to too, except, I’ll probably feel guilty and pay the damn bill. I also found out that besides that fact that you can raise your kids properly and text you also cannot multi-task. Believe me I’ve tried eating, drinking, and showering while texting. It does not work. I also try not to text while driving but sometimes I do. Another horrible example for my kids, it’s bad enough they think it’s okay to pick their teeth in public, and can fart on command, but this is well, really poor parenting.

WANNA LAUGH?!?!

BEST COME BACK LINE EVER
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop...


"You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one
around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" He stated in an interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose; cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment


In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.'


Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence .


I said, Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?


He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said... A pumpkin? Shit ..... is it midnight already?

AKA; BONG HIT ERIC

I spoke of Family Ties in a recent She Said post, I now would like to introduce my cousin.... ERIC.

Eric is the kind of guy who my kids look forward to seeing at large family gatherings. He has no problem playing hide-n-seek or sitting with them for an hour to hear about what is going on in their lives and of course speaking about our pets.

Eric will be joining us from time to time to tell us a funny story or share his thoughts on crap in the news. Eric is a former Wall Street dude that decided to live a healthier life away from New York City. He is a single guy, who has a heart of gold and does a mean Billy Crystal impersonation. So without further ado....ladies and gentleman - BONG HIT ERIC

Dawn Boyle

WANNA LAUGH?!?!?!?!

Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob and starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Bobbie. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time."