SO THERE WE WERE...

DRL is pleased to introduce...

Bridgette

So there we were, sitting 3 inches away from each other on a loveseat, glaring at a pair of eyes sitting in front of us both.  “Why were we here?  Why did I agree do try?”  Let me tell you it saved our marriage.  After only a few sessions with our Sex Therapist, did we start to even look into each other’s eyes and realize that we were on the right track.  We knew we were heading down 10 miles of bad road, till we actually were honest with each other.  After 10 years of marriage and three kids, all under the age of 9, we finally said, “Let’s give it a swing”.  I, who will call myself, Bridgette, didn’t enjoy sex, didn’t want to even bother.  It grew into a chore for me.  He, we’ll call him Eric, had a strong libido and needed to be satisfied and needed to feel connected.  Needless to say, with the lack of libido in me it drove us apart.  It wasn’t that I didn’t love him, because I did very much.  In my mind, everything was just, OK.  I could do without and satisfy myself if I needed to.  It was our Therapist who made me answer some really difficult questions.  Questions like, “What do you love about your husband?, What do you not like? What turns you on?  Do you let him watch you masturbate?  Sometimes I was at a loss for words.  Other times I was like an open book, and it got much easier as the sessions passed us by.  You’re probably asking……when did things change?  She gave us some suggestions to spice up what we were trying to fix.  They all seemed to be very vanilla, which was fine, so we gave it a try.  In other words, Homework!  “Tonight, you just look into your spouse’s eyes and tell each other what you love about them”.  “Just make-out, but no penetration”.  “Hold hands when you are walking together”.  Be each other’s boyfriend and girlfriend”

THE ART OF SLEEP

Barbara Ward-Finneran

It's no secret that the busier you get in your life the more your "night's" sleep suffers.  So often even when exhausted and ready to call it a night, you can't get your mind to turn off.  Or, you are so sleep deprived that dozing off isn't the problem.  It's practically instantaneous if you hold still for more then ten seconds.  But then, something wakes you during the night.  It doesn't even matter what it is but now you are awake and tossing and turning.  Mind racing stuck in a "think".  Stuck with the thoughts racing through your head like cars on  a LA freeway. Stuck with stress whether awake or trying to sleep. It's a wicked cycle.  You need  more sleep to be more productive and yet being more productive creates stresses that disrupt sleep.

You don't have to be a genius to figure out that lack of shut eye can have negative effects on your health.  The question therein is, how does one balance all that needs to be done and still get enough sleep to ward off the laundry list of negative side effects of a sleep deficit like; weight gain, memory loss, mood swings, increased risk for heart disease, etc... the list goes on and on.

Scoring the right amount of sleep is crucial to your well being.  It refreshes the mind and is essential for good health.  Many studies recommend 7-8 hours of sleep for adults. In our hyper busy round the clock world is it any wonder that most of us don't hit that mark?  Is the key actually sleeping more or stressing less?