FEAR NOT!

Deanna Verbouwens

Drowning, Abductions, Choking, Oh MY! I keep myself awake at night thinking about all these terrible things that could happen to my children. These are fears that send me running for a bag of Lays along with getting run-over, home-invasions, and fire (I get some sense of security when my FDNY hubby is home, I know he can handle at least one thing besides playing solitaire on the PC). I realize that the chances of these things happening are rare, well maybe not too rare but the odds are probably NOT against me. Illogical perhaps, scary as Jason sure and definitely a little bit crazy. Absof**kinglutley. And here’s how crazy--I have a ritual before bed each night, I set-up booby traps by every door and window, then I check on the kids to make sure they’re breathing, next I take the cell phone into my bedroom and turn off the lights to make sure I can dial 911 in the dark, and last but not least I run several different escape plans through my head before I close my eyes. I know, I know, crazy as drunk doing the Macarena.

You’d think that I would have had homing devices implanted in my kid’s asses or at least wrap them in bubble wrap before they left the house. Hey, now that I think about it - not bad ideas. The homing devices would be magical when they are teenagers because I’d know where they were at all times. I can see it now: I’d have a map in the my closet covered with little red push pins as I tracked their every move and maybe I could rig it so an alarm would sound when they hit the local 7-11 to try and buy beer with a fake ID of some random 52 year old man. Now that would give me peace of mind.

Ahhh a mom can dream, but since that’s not happening, how do I find the balance? I need to make sure my kids are protected from the ills of the world and give them enough freedom so they’re not neurotic messes and afraid of their own shadow by age 15. Do I prohibit them from doing anything that is remotely dangerous or send them out there to break every bone in their body? How do I successfully implement the “Don’t talk to strangers” spiel when I reprimand them when they don’t respond to a stranger in Target who have just asked them their age. Now that one is a 100% walking contradiction. Note to self, stress to the kids it’s only okay to talk to strangers when their with Mom and Dad.

So does anyone have any idea where the happy medium exists between becoming an over-protective neurotic Mom or the cool laid back chick that has it all under control? Maybe the answer is to take a little crazy from one and a little chill pill from the other. Like, I let them walk to their friend’s house when they are 15 but they have to call me when they arrive. Perhaps the perfect combination of instilling the right amount of common sense in my kids so they know to run when they see a white van, ’cause it’s always a white van right? Or a guy walking a dog, or a ball on the train tracks or a too big bite of chicken, or a… Oh shit, time for the chill pill.

Find more from Deanna:  www.theunnaturalmother.com

THE BEAUTY OF A WOMAN - the Place Where Love Resides

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" 

"Because I'm a woman," she told him. 

"I don't understand," he said.

 His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." 

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say. 

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

 God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue

WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE.....TONY WALKER

This year my son started middle school. Like me he is having a rough adjustment. But there is one thing that started for him this year that is worse than adjusting to a new school.

"Why can't you be more like your sister?!"

My daughter is autistic. She didn't go to the elementary school that is closest to our home. She went to another school in the district where all the special needs students go. But when she started middle school she goes to the same middle school as everyone else.

She is in 7th & my son is in 6th. One of his teachers is an old teacher of my daughter's. My boy's art teacher is the same art teacher my daughter had last year. I believe he may have another teacher or 2 who has had something to do with my daughter.

One teacher has already said that dealing with my son is a lot different from dealing with my daughter.

So now it begins. My son will be hearing "Why can't you be more like your sister" all the time. I went through the same thing. My brother was loved by everyone. He was nice, polite, & well behaved. I on the other hand was loud, rude, & a wiseass.... I know that may be hard to believe. Going to the same elementary, jr, & high schools as my brother was one thing, but our mother also went to the same schools! Our mother was the quietest student ever. Of course most of the teachers I had remembered my mother. So I got hit with comparisons to both of them all the time. I guess my son being who he is in school is my karma!!

I didn't resent my brother when I got these comparisons but I'll admit sometimes it was a pain. I can see my son is already aggravated & slightly resenting his sister.

Have you ever had to deal with sibling comparisons or were you the one who your sibling was compared to? How did you & your siblings handle it? 

SHE SAID...FAMILY TIES

Dawn Boyle


 FAMILY n. pl. fam·i·lies

1.

a. A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children.

b. Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.

2. All the members of a household under one roof.

3. A group of persons sharing common ancestry.
4. Lineage, especially distinguished lineage.

5. A locally independent organized crime unit, as of the Cosa Nostra.

6.

a. A group of like things; a class.

b. A group of individuals derived from a common stock

I had the luxury of spending the weekend with my family. I have two brothers, they are married and they both have children. I have a mother and father that are still together. Everyone in my family is healthy. But the strangest part of my family is that we all get along. There has never been a major fight between any of us. We genuinely enjoy being around each other. We all dance and party like there is no tomorrow.

MY KIDS HATE ME! TONY WALKER

Last week was a big week in the Walker household!!!

My son gave me the first "F*&K you" face!

You know those looks pre teens and teens give you.... inside their little heads they're saying, "F&*k you Dad.... you suck. I am not listening to a thing you're saying right now. All I can think about is smashing your face against the wall. Keep on yelling baldy.... soon all this yelling will give you a heart attack. You're so old... what are you.... 40 something? You are so out of touch. You have no idea what my world is like."

You all gave your parents that look when you were a teen. I gave my mother that look almost every day.

We were in jr high damnit! We knew everything! School was a waste of time! Our parents didn't know what we were going through! Guess what... we are our parents now.

PARENTING 101

FEAR NOT!

By Deanna Verbouwens

Drowning, Abductions, Choking, Oh MY! I keep myself awake at night thinking about all these terrible things that could happen to my children. These are fears that send me running for a bag of Lays along with getting run-over, home-invasions, and fire (I get some sense of security when my FDNY hubby is home, I know he can handle at least one thing besides playing solitaire on the PC). I realize that the chances of these things happening are rare, well maybe not too rare but the odds are probably NOT against me. Illogical perhaps, scary as Jason sure and definitely a little bit crazy. Absofuckinglutley. And here’s how crazy--I have a ritual before bed each night, I set-up booby traps by every door and window, then I check on the kids to make sure they’re breathing, next I take the cell phone into my bedroom and turn off the lights to make sure I can dial 911 in the dark, and last but not least I run several different escape plans through my head before I close my eyes. I know, I know, crazy as drunk doing the Macarena.

You’d think that I would have had homing devices implanted in my kid’s asses or at least wrap them in bubble wrap before they left the house. Hey, now that I think about it - not bad ideas. The homing devices would be magical when they are teenagers because I’d know where they were at all times. I can see it now: I’d have a map in the my closet covered with little red push pins as I tracked their every move and maybe I could rig it so an alarm would sound when they hit the local 7-11 to try and buy beer with a fake ID of some random 52 year old man. Now that would give me peace of mind.

SHE SAID...

Dawn Boyle

I agree with Tony's feelings about today. I HATE that summer is over. I mentioned in a post last week about the days, weeks, months and years flying past and how it brings me this sense of time running out.

Even though my kids made me crazy the entire summer, I did get a little teary eyed this morning as they got ready. My big girl is in fifth grade. Which only means that each day that passes she will hate me more and think what a horrible mother I am, no matter what I do. The baby going into second grade no longer wants to wear party dresses. She has been interning behind my back with Rachel Zoe and does not want to hear what I think about her fashion choices, complete with the roll of the eyes and that long drawn out "MOOOOOMMMMMMM"!!!

For a few hours today it was a little sad. It is sad that my babies are growing up. The time that is so precious is now, these are the days to look back on. Memories made. Funny stories to tell.

I am an emotional wreck today - not sure what it is....probably just inner anxiety that homework is only a few days away...tests and reports to follow,  AND CHRISTMAS is only 16 weeks away!!

Go buy their Halloween costumes now - it's only a half hour away! I don't care how old they are.. the rule still is,  no one is going to be slutty pirate even if it's a "TWEEN" costume!

WICKED LITTLE CHILDREN....something new?

Dawn Boyle

I spent yesterday with some of my closest friends. There were 11 families, all different ages, boys and girls playing together for hours and hours. There was not one fight (except for the one that happened down the beach between teenagers). No one was injured (except for the kid with friends down the beach, nothing major). There was an earthquake (no seriously, there was and I felt it).

Anyway, it was the perfect day....on the way home, it turned to be the same old, same old with my kids. Why can't this one come over, where are we going after we get home from the beach, can we stop and get ice cream. Never enough.

It got me thinking, are kids worse today than in the decades before or is it that we suck as parents? Have we given up on trying to parent our kids? Who is really in control...them or us? Twenty years ago did kids behave better? What caused the change?

I would love to hear your thoughts!

ROAMING THE STREETS

Tony Walker

Last Saturday, July 23rd, I went to a friend's house for a get together with some good friends. Had a great time and left the party at 130AM. At this time I noticed something that really disturbed me.
The party was in East Meadow, Long Island, NY. As I was driving through the town I saw many kids walking the streets. Not a single kid was old enough to drive.

I drove 2 friends who live in NYC to the train station in Wantagh so they can catch a train home. Again I saw more young kids on the streets.

Then I drove one more friend home to Massapequa. Again I saw more kids roaming.
As I was driving to my home which is on the Seaford/Wantagh border, I saw 2 kids sitting on a sidewalk making out. There is no way these 2 were old enough to drive.

If a kid is not old enough to drive that means they have to be under the age of 17 right?
That means I saw a ton of kids under 17 roaming the streets in between 1:30- 2 in the morning!!!
I don't know about you guys but if I was out roaming at that time of night at that age my mother never would've let me reach driving age!

And there is no way my kids will allowed to stay out that late at that age!!!
Am I crazy or do you guys agree with me? Am I starting to sound like an old fuddy duddy or no? I was just shocked to see so many kids out there!! Is it safe for them to out there at that time?
Please tell us what you think.

SHE SAID.....

Dawn Boyle

Every year our church has a festival. It lasts for two weeks. Everyone from town goes. Last year my daughter was injured at the festival and we will not be going again...ever again. This is in part due to her fear of seeing the Zipper and my fear of exposing my children to what I would refer to as Kids Gone Wild.

Kids Gone Wild are girls between 11-14. They have NO reason to be wearing the clothes or shall I say the LACK of clothing. They have their navel's pierced. They flaunt themselves with the top button of their already too small shorts open exposing even more of their thong underwear.

What is going on people? Where are the parents of these CHILDREN? How did they get passed the front door without being told to about face and put some damn clothes on? What would be the necessity of purchasing a little girl thong underwear?

How did we get here? Why are we letting these kids grow up so fast? Why are we afraid of our own kids? Have we let that "choose your battles" become an easy out? Why are we creating little monsters that will eventually become worse then we could imagine?

Nothing good will come of your 11 year old feeling sexy in thong underwear....MAKE A CHANGE!