HE SAID.... Ladies I have a question for you...

Tony Walker

OK ladies.... I have a question for you.

Is there such a thing as common decency? If so, what is it?

We all have certain lines we won't cross when we're with people we don't know very well. But when we're with people we know very well those lines get blurred.

I hope this isn't sexist... but in my experiences it's a woman who will be the first to complain that a line has been crossed. 

Lately I've been having a conversation with a friend who is a woman. I will be the first to admit that I've done & said some crazy things in front of this woman. Was I trying to be offensive? No. Was I purposely crossing a line? No.

But I am being told that if I had any common decency I never would've "went there" in the first place. 

Let me throw in here that by this woman's own admission she did not make it known that she was uncomfortable.

I have to admit... I don't understand this. I am not agreeing or disagreeing... I don't understand. 

Is someone crossing a line if they don't know it? Once they know it they should respect their boundaries (which I have done) but I am being told I should've known better in the first place. 

Don't we all push our boundaries & say politically incorrect things around close friends? Don't we all push or stay back depending on who we're with? So who is to say what is common decency?

Or am I getting it all wrong? Maybe common decency are the obvious lines that no one crosses.... I don't know.

Let me make something clear here.... I am not judging anyone for having a line. Just because I don't have one doesn't means you shouldn't either. BUT I don't  expect to be judged because I don't have one or because my version of common decency is different from someone else's. 

So help me out. What's your version of common decency?

JILLIAN B HART... ARE YOU HUNGRY?

“The greatest boundaries that we face in our lives are very often the ones 

we ourselves create in our minds."  —  Ellyn Spragins

Can right and wrong get mixed up?  Is there a time and place to blur the lines? Cross the line? Is life always as simple as black and white --- when you see endless shades of gray?


Is there a dream or a fantasy that you hide in your heart, that if opportunity presented itself you would act on it? Doesn't everyone have one or more of those tucked away somewhere?  (Are you fooling yourself if you are shaking your head no as you read this post.)  That secret - never shared, like some taboo topic that is avoided at all costs.  An honesty perhaps not even obvious or admitted to yourself. 


Honesty, integrity and self esteem weigh heavily on the success of many relationships.  But, relationships change.  People change. Passion fades.  Distance grows.  Sex can be an action without an emotional reaction. Lovers can become more like housemates.  Life is not static.  Yet so often the most important relationship in your life is.  It stops growing.  You stop dreaming. Would acting on a fantasy help or harbor the union? Does a happier "you", make for a better "we"? Do the rules change if there is an act of promiscuous nature involved? If it stays in your head and heart is it okay, is there no harm done? A one night stand can be written off and forgiven whereas something with a history or connection means game over. Is an emotional attachment a means to justify or make matters worse? What if no one ever knew? Acting on a fantasy could feed and fuel your libido, whereas the opposite may forever starve your soul.  Can carnal desires or something unfinished ever completely be snuffed out? Is sex ever really just sex? 

POST HOLIDAY RE-RUN: Jillian Hart

IF I COULD WAKE UP DREAMING

Ms. Jillian B. Hart

He will forever be the one that got away.  The one that slipped through her fingers.  The thing that movies are made about and that words are helpless to describe.  The emotion that has to be felt to be known.  Felt to be understood - and feeling it, only leaves the soul hungry for more.  

A love that was so right - it was almost incomprehensible and seemingly was always just within their reach.  The awe of it being unnerving, until it became unattainable.  She didn’t find someone that she love that much only to let it go.  She held onto it.  Even all those years that he was gone, all those years her life went on, knowing the love never left her.  The memory of it dwelled within the fibers of her being.  It became part of who she was and she was never quite the same.  It always existed, locked away in her heart like a box with a missing key.