SHE SAID... KISS ME I'M IRISH

Pháirt Amháin (Part I)

Jillian B. Hart

Kissing is one of the most sensual and sexy ways too express your passion for your partner.  So many ways to get erotic with your lover but most often the starting point is a kiss.  A lingering embrace of lips that leaves your mate longing for more and daydreaming about you long after the moment is gone.

In the chaos of life it is all too easy to forget the power of the kiss.  All to easy to fall into the "smooch" and or "smack' syndrome. The quick peck that has become habit and essentially is so over used that it means nothing. This cordial interaction certainly doesn't raise a pulse.  Day in and day out, reality gets in the way and these kisses have their place but to keep sparks from fizzling a couple must define time to include romantic passionate kisses in their daily love diet.  These encounters need not be saved for "bedroom time" but should rather be used often as prelude to escapades yet to come.  What is more exciting then anticipation?  You want your lover to desire you,  then it is necessary to lay one on them that leaves them longing for more.  Sexy kissing is all about a moment that makes your partner crazy for you.  Kissing must not just be a road map to sex but rather an appreciated act of pleasure unto itself.

Take the time to add a sexy kiss into your day.  If you have been dwelling in smooch-ville you may need to start slowly or risk the "what got into you suspicion".  But start.  As this might just be your ticket to "do it again in like, 72 hours or less".  At least one of your hands must touch your partner.  Don't stress about this or make it complicated.  Put your hand in their hair. Caress the cheek. Lift and hold the chin. Rub the arm. Wrap the waist. Pull them closer a hug.  Just initiate a simple yet intimate connection.  Follow up with kiss.  Not smooch or smack.  Lips must linger together for at least 10 seconds. Or be a series of tiny butterfly pecks that elapse over the same length of time. Sound easy?  Count slowly in your head to ten the next time you kiss. It's longer then you think! Once you master ten - go longer!

Want more sex?  (Doesn't it always come down to that for some?!)  More intimacy for the others? I challenge you to incorporate three ten second kisses into your day on a daily basis for a week.  See what awakens in you and your lover.  See if more sex develops.  See if she's happy about it.  We all know he will be.  Sex makes men happy.  Let's see where the kisses get you.....

So in honor of this day - where everyone is Irish!  Celebrate the whole "Kiss Me I'm Irish" and unleash your inner sexy kissing leprechaun!  Kiss your lover!!! Beats the hell out of kissing the blarney stone!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

XOXOXO

REPRISE: KISS ME I'M IRISH - Pháirt Amháin (Part I) 

Editors Note: Originally Posted 3-17-11

HE SAID... WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THERE'S A STORM BREWING?

Tony Walker
Here in NY, Long Island in particular, we are dealing with the devastation of Hurricane Sandy. I was going to write something about that storm but decided against it. There are a million places to see, hear, & read about the hurricane. I've decided to stick with what I do best.... and if anyone knows what that is please let me know.

This week's He Said is actually a "He's Asking".  So my question is: Do you stay together for the kids sake or not?

Right now I know 3 people who are in their marriages solely for the kids. These people believe that splitting up with their spouse would mess up their kids. I'm sure all of you have heard that reasoning from someone you know. But is staying together for the kids sake doing more damage? If you're fighting, do you want the kids to witness that? Maybe you're not fighting but you're miserable... do you want your kids growing up thinking that being married means being miserable? Of these three I speak of, one woman recently told her husband that she doesn't love him anymore so right now they're together for the kids. She's so happy she finally got this off her chest that one would never know her marriage is over. So is fooling the kids an option too?

I look at my life.... my father split when my mother was pregnant with me. I lived with my mother, brother, & grandmother. My best friend was right next door & there were plenty of kids on my street & in our neighborhood. I had a great childhood. Later in life I found out my father was a screw up his whole life until he died in a bizarre motorcycle crash in his early 40's. I was 10 when it happened. I realized I was better off with my parents NOT together. 

Based on my own story, my vote is to not stay together for the kids sake. 

Tell me and all of us at DRL what you think. 

Do you agree with me? Do you know kids who got messed up because his/her parents split?

SHE SAID... LOVE ALWAYS REMAINS

JILLIAN B. HART

"If two points are destined to touch the universe will always find a way to make the connection. Even when all hope seems lost certain ties cannot be broken. They define who we are and who we can become. Across space,  across time, across paths we cannot predict, it always finds a way......."

Can love be defined as an energy between two people? If energy can neither be created nor destroyed, does that then too mean that love can never be created or destroyed?  That love just is.  Always was.  Always will be. It’s there.  Destined to find us.  Once we love a person does every action in our lives touch on some chord that will vibrate in eternity in their heart? We can not deny how we feel.  We can attempt to bury it and ignore it.  Put it in a box and hide it away.  Yet, it never ceases to exist. Is that why when someone says they love you, it makes you really happy, but yet you don’t really “feel” it.  It was already there before the words were spoken. But, if someone takes that love away, or says they don’t love you anymore, you can feel every ounce of where it filled you up drain away.  Leaving you feeling empty.  Out of energy.  That energy is still there. It cannot be created nor destroyed.  It’s just not wrapped around you anymore.  It becomes a conscious intention as to how we move on from that kind of change in the energy in our little corner of the world.  Some may positively interact with it forever or act as if it never was.  There is no escape.  It’s part of your personal infinity.  Love never leaves you.  It’s energy just changes.  

The “Red Thread of Fate” which also has other varying names like “Red Thread of Destiny” refers to an East Asian belief or myth that the god’s tie a red string around those destined to meet.  Some believe that two are tied together with a knot and the others are just looped around to cause a more temporary connection.  Both ideas expressing that we are inextricably connected to certain people.  Perhaps even to all people like expressed in the idea of “six degrees of separation”.  Every interaction has an impact on the string or thread.  It gets tangled, stretched, beaten and battered but never breaks.  All kinds of shifts can take place but the path of the connected thread is a constant.  It inexorably weaves it’s way with you through life linking you and your common connections in the universe.  

According to Chinese legend, the god in charge of “The Red Thread” is believed to be Yuè Xià Lǎo, the old lunar matchmaker deity, (Ah, yes the moon! Another source of energy commonly symbolic to lovers - but that’s another blog.), who is also in charge of marriages.  Two people connected by the thread are then destined to be lovers.  Fated to be connected regardless of time, place or circumstances.  Regardless of a happy life or existence that goes on without daily interactions with the other.  The thread never breaks.  So similar to the Western concepts of soul mates or twin flames.  

Tony recently did a He Said, asking; “Do You Have a One that Got Away?”.  I believe many people do - even if they admit it or not.  

A person can have a good life.  Be happy with their mate, kids, family and still have a forever connection to another.  Not want to give up a thing that they have right now. Not want to risk the good and happy relationship that is their life, yet part of them yearns for that other person.  Perhaps, Facebook isn’t responsible for this resurfacing of emotions that seem so commonplace in our tech world as Tony wrote about in his post.  Apparently "the One That Got Away" has to do with love.  Love that can not be created or destroyed. It always was and always will be.  Perhaps, the “Red Thread of Fate” explains it.  It’s not a matter of “the One that Got Away” but rather, the fact is, if you choose to acknowledge it - YOU CAN NEVER GET AWAY.  LOVE ALWAYS REMAINS!

HE SAID... DO YOU HAVE A "ONE THAT GOT AWAY"?

TONY WALKER

This week's He Said asks a question.... how many of you have a "one who got away?"

I was talking to a dear friend.... she was telling me about a guy. She's known this guy was "the one" since 1986. But he got away. To this day they both say they still have feelings for each other & realize, despite happy lives, they missed the boat.

My friend said she misses him so much & sometimes has a hard time with it. Meanwhile he appears to be fine with it... or so she thinks.

I spoke to a buddy of mine, a guy, who told me a long long time ago about his "one who got away." This buddy agreed women appear to have a harder time with this kind of situation... again, they appear to have a harder time.... my buddy says the men have just as hard a time as the women, the men just hide it better. My buddy really opened up to me about how he longs for his soulmate, his "one that got away". He has a good life-a wife and kids-but he feels a connection, a love for his "one." He claims his "one" feels the same. They've felt this way since 1987 & still talk about it to this day!

I know a few other people who claim they're the victims of "the one who got away." They all have different reasons why "the one" got away.... fights, religious, financial, jobs, family, etc. Yet, years later, they still yearn for that person. Now with the power of Facebook, many of these "ones" are finding their way back. Problem is, most of the ones I know are married people having affairs.

This got me thinking.... are these people really missing "the one" or are they in love with a memory? A what might have been notion? Has life hit them & their spouse so hard that they think of an earlier time & associate someone from that earlier time which turns them into "the one?" But, then... take the two friends I am talking about... they've never stopped loving their "one" since the eighties!! So are there a ton of people out there who have let "the one" get away? Just like that movie "The Notebook."

If you have let that "one" get away, why don't you go get that person? Isn't your happiness more important than anything else?

Tell us what you think...
Are you in this kind of situation? Why don't you drop everything & start a life with "the one?"
Do you think Facebook is enhancing people's temptations?

HE SAID.... It's the little things

Tony Walker

This week's He Said is about the little things.

No not my little thing....

Well I guess my little thing has something to do with this....

Ladies, all the time on TV, articles, in conversation, etc. the women always say, "It's the little things that count. A hug, a kiss, saying you love me, a touch on the shoulder as you pass by me," blah blah blah.

Well I'm here to call you ladies out on this!!!

I want someone to tell me just exactly what one of those "little things" do for you. I ask because whenever I fight with a woman & attempt a "little thing" I still get the cold shoulder! And I'm lucky if that's all I get!! 

Sometimes I get the brush off!

Sometimes she ducks me!

Sometimes she tells me to go F%&@ myself!

Sometimes I get accused of sucking up to take away from whatever we are disagreeing about!

My favorite... sometimes as I try to use my little thing the response is "EWWWWW!!"

Let me point out that this happens no matter who is the wrong one in the disagreement. Sometimes no one is in the wrong. Sometimes it could just be 2 different opinions, yet I still end up trying the "little things" approach!

It's not the fact that I have a little thing, it's what I do with it. Doesn't that account for anything???

Am I using my little thing too soon? 

I am always willing to use my little thing to keep peace! No not piece... peace!!

Let us know what you think. Do you really appreciate the little things? 

SHE SAID... KISS ME I'M IRISH - Pháirt Amháin (Part I)

Jillian B. Hart

Kissing is one of the most sensual and sexy ways too express your passion for your partner.  So many ways to get erotic with your lover but most often the starting point is a kiss.  A lingering embrace of lips that leaves your mate longing for more and daydreaming about you long after the moment is gone.

In the chaos of life it is all too easy to forget the power of the kiss.  All to easy to fall into the "smooch" and or "smack' syndrome. The quick peck that has become habit and essentially is so over used that it means nothing. This cordial interaction certainly doesn't raise a pulse.  Day in and day out, reality gets in the way and these kisses have their place but to keep sparks from fizzling a couple must define time to include romantic passionate kisses in their daily love diet.  These encounters need not be saved for "bedroom time" but should rather be used often as prelude to escapades yet to come.  What is more exciting then anticipation?  You want your lover to desire you,  then it is necessary to lay one on them that leaves them longing for more.  Sexy kissing is all about a moment that makes your partner crazy for you.  Kissing must not just be a road map to sex but rather an appreciated act of pleasure unto itself.

WHAT DOES SHE REALLY MEAN



TRANSLATIONS PLEASE........

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 



(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 



(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a not word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

 

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 



HART'S DESIRE - AN APPETITE FOR LOVE (RATED M for MATURE)

DESSERT ANYONE???
On this day of love I dedicate this to the one who inspires my writings... 
Who inspires me...  XO

Jillian B. Hart

An adult dinner party to celebrate Valentines day seemed like a good idea at the time.  In retrospect, a party of eight had become quite the crowd. Robbing the early evening of an intimacy made for two.  Especially when her day dreams danced to dark hours of the evening and the sweet treats and hot thoughts that whet her appetite, causing her libido to soar.  She couldn't stand it any longer.

She smiled and winked at him tantalizingly - bending over the table and leaning in towards him enough to provoke attention to the soft mounds of flesh spilling from her clingy v-neck. Grinning to herself knowing the red lace of her push up was certainly playing peek-a-boo from his view.

She twisted her eyes to point seductively down the hallway before turning on her heel and clicking stiletto spikes across the hard wood floor. The noise of festivities fading behind her as she fancied her way to the master bathroom. She went in but left the door unlocked. Ran her fingers through her hair tucking some behind her ears and licking her lips to a shine - as she heard the sound of the knob twist and a second later he was in and had locked the door behind him. She turned away from the mirror to face him and before she could inch towards him, he instantaneously lifted her onto the counter and pressed his mouth to hers. Her heart skipped and then raced.  She returned his kiss with equal intensity and want, parting her full painted lips to invite their tongues to tango soft and deep circles together.  Their bodies gravitating like magnets to one another. As he pushed in closer her short skirt rode up her thighs and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Pulling him close enough to feel his hardness pressing against her.  Her pulse rocketed, her hands making fists in his hair as moist heat flooded at the apex of her widely parted legs. His hands roaming her body, petting her bosom and taunting her now firm, hard nipples that begged for attention. She scrambles at his buttons and his shirt fell to the floor.

She pulled at his pants and yanked down the fly. Grabbing him and eagerly inviting him out. He reached under her skirt and was delighted to discover that there were no panties underneath. He lifted her up and parted her swollen flesh with teasing strokes of his manhood. A breathless moan escaped her mouth - the sound dripping with erotic desire, as her arms tightened around him. His hands holding her by the round cheeks of her ass, he hitched her up higher and pressed in, submerging himself, to become fully surrounded by her hot wetness. She gasped with pleasure as he slid deep inside of her. Her legs and arms around his body holding her aloft as she rocked up and down his pulsing rod. She writhed on top of him as he thrust in and out of her. Her moans growing louder as he plunged deeper and deeper. Orgasm pulling at him as her juices were dripped like warm rivers on his thighs and she tighten around him. Harder and faster. His moans now in rhythmic tempo with hers. He purposefully nudged her back against the wall forcing her legs to split further apart, lifting them higher, wanting more. Harder and faster with each stroke. Deeper and more intense he pumped her hard up against the cold tile wall. Her groans mixed with cries of pleading desire. Scorching liquid streamed from her. Her hands tight on his back and her nails slightly dug into him as she felt herself about to slip into erotic rapture. Keenly aware of her mounting climax he hammered into her unrelentingly determined to have her finish all over his throbbing shaft. A raspy voice in his ear, "Come with me!", as she banged her hips against him and a cry of complete ecstasy evaded her lips. Her orgasm ripped through her like a flash of electric current through her veins. She threw her head back and helplessly trembled with pleasure. Her climaxing muscles tightening around him and with one more hard thrust he came into her. Both of them panting for air as she rocked on him to milk every drop, milk every second of this titillating moment, before her body melted onto his and they sank slowly down onto the cool ceramic floor.

He watched her chest rise and fall as they both caught their breath. Their eyes met and they held the glance for a long moment. She once again winked at him as a grin stretched across her face and accented her flushed cheeks.

"We should get back to "dinner" before our guests miss us", he said.

She grabbed his shoulders and pulled his face closer to her, pressing against him with one last long, lingering kiss. Her eyes sparkling as she looked directly into his...

"But, you must promise me seconds later... And be certain to save room for dessert"!

A sexy giggle as she added, "You know how I LOVE DESSERT!"..........

HE SAID... ALL DAY LONG I THING ABOUT...

TONY WALKER
This week's He Said is back to where it should be.... in the bedroom!!! YIPPEE!!
Do you ladies base your whole day around sex like men do?
I know most women won't admit but I think they do.
Is your mood reflected on whether you got some the night before? Or better yet, is your mood based on how good it was the night before?
If you get some in the morning does that put you in a good mood for the rest of the day?
I know it makes a big difference in my mood especially if it was mind blowing.
If it does improve your mood how long does the mood last before you're back to feeling the stresses of everyday life?
If you didn't get any the night before or if you did but it was bad does that put you in a bad mood? Is there even such a thing as bad sex? I think there is but I think I'll save that argument for next week's He Said!
Are you like us men who are ready for another round rather quickly? When I grow up I am going to buy an island & just be naked all the time. Who wants to come???

WALK THE WALK... TALK THE TALK...

with TONY WALKER
A DASH OF RACY MIXED WITH REAL... Rated "M" for MATURE
Back when I was a single man, I had a f*#kbuddy. One day I was on the phone with her when a friend of mine showed up at my house. To bust my chops, this friend picked up the extension & started listening to our conversation. My "buddy" had no idea someone else was on the line. He was making faces & reacting in silly ways to what she was saying. The big blow came when she started talking about my "shortcomings." My friend struck gold. He was hysterical. I got the last laugh though. The buddy went on to say that even though it's small I knew exactly what to do with it. To this day my friend & I still joke about that day.
So here's my question ladies... is it the size or is it what you do with it? Or is it both? Or neither? I'd like to think it's what you do with it that counts. But tell us what you think.
I know women who love a good size, some women say it doesn't matter as long as she loves the guy, some women say the tool does nothing for them & they prefer other options, some say it hurts when it's too big. Tell me what you think.

HE SAID... I SHOULD BE DEAD

TONY WALKER
I should be dead.
I'm not dead.
Cancer tried to kill me.
I'm still here.
But did I beat it?

Cancer-Left me without a leg.
              -Screwed up my job which messed up my finances.
              -Took me away from my kids when they needed me. My son has struggled through school since day one. One of the main reasons he struggles is because I either wasn't there for him when he was real little or his needs had to be put aside to deal with a cancer related issue for me. My daughter's autism sometimes took a back seat to my cancer related crap.

SHE SAID..... DEFINITELY DIFFERENT!

Barbara Ward-Finneran
HE SAID.... ARE WE DIFFERENT?
Absolutely, positively, definitely different!  Is that really a question?!  Thank God we are different.  Isn't that part of what keeps life interesting. Okay-- with it, with difference, comes it's fair share of challenges too. Yet - too much the same is just overrated, BORING!

Instead of "different"... aren't we two halves that create balance.  Like what day is to night and night is to day.  Beautifully different, yet one cannot be appreciated without the other.  This duality when correctly combined is what can stimulate peace and harmony.  In the time of basic man and woman when the human race began, (and until more recent history,) - there was no questioning the duality or the roles.  They just were - and they were accepted.  For a very long time none thought one superior or more important, but, they were two parts that made a whole picture.  There was an appreciation, perhaps non-spoken, of the mutually supportive roles of the man and the women. Together they created family and function within their corner of the world. 

Perhaps modern "man" has messed this up by blurring all the lines.  Somewhere along the line... two parts fitting together to make one complacent and balanced whole became a comparison and or competition of which role was more important or better.  Did that create "feelings" of the dominate and the oppressed?  Did that awareness of roles being lesser or more - separate rather then build?  Did that create a difficulty for smooth role reversal in situations where it should and could work? Did it force the stereotyping that Tony points out -- isn't as black and white, or day and night as it seems to be? Isn't there more accord when the pieces fit rather then fight for attention? 

Yes, Tony, I believe we are "wired" differently... yet I will agree there are similarities. We all have our soft and hard side and attributes.  So whether talking one person, one pair, or one race, we need those differences and we need to value the sameness that can also be found.  Having a touch, or brush of the opposite whets your appetite for more of that - that is what helps the different pieces fit. 

We need to get past the comparisons and instead value that one does not exist in all it's brilliance without the other.  How can you compare the day and the night?  They are each astonishingly different, amazingly beautiful in their own right, yet if it wasn't for the darkness would we appreciate the light? It is better not to scorn the differences but to be empowered by them.  To allow them to help bring out the best in you, using our differences to make ourselves the best sum of our parts, as a person, a pair or a race. To complement and balance the human equation and make it whole.  Make us whole in that way that we aren't whole alone.

SHE SAID... He asked, I'm answering.

Jillian B Hart

In this morning's He Said, Tony asked many questions.  Although the points to ponder were specific to the effects of an illness on a marriage...  There is a variable there that questions what if the marriage was already unhealthy.  What if somewhere along the line you have figured out that the relationship is impaired.  Is a "sick" marriage different then a sick spouse?

I honestly believe that most people go into marriage with the full intent of keeping the vows they share until death do they part.  Reality begs to differ that there is a real understanding in what that means. Do you really “get” what that means, long term, forever, on that day you make those promises?  I think we believe that we do. I believe we do with all that we are able to comprehend and articulate it to mean at that time.  

“For better and for worse, in sickness and in health...” takes on new meaning with every passing year in a meaningful and committed relationship.  Life can be stressful under good circumstances.  Throw in major life issues and your world tips off it’s axis.  Fact is, some people definitely have a better ability to hang on.  Is it character, commitment, choice?  Does it matter?  

Before marriage we invest time in dating and relationships to find Mr. or Miss “Right”.  We contemplate and question is this right?  Those of us who married, somewhere along the line made the decision that it was right. Thus moving forward to the big day and the beginning of happily ever after.  You make that decision with all the knowledge and love that you have at that time, fully intent on it being “right” forever.

Life throws you curve balls.  Sometime you duck and sometimes you catch it square in the face.  In both cases there is a rush of adrenaline, yet one is way more painful then the other.  When you duck, you can almost get on with the game as if nothing even happened.  When it knocks you right between the eyes you are forced to see and feel what really happened.  What really is. Looking at a situation with real eyes, being honest with yourself as to what your marriage has become, is like having the sense knocked into you - it’s painful beyond words.  It forces you to stop being numb and going through the motions.  Often once you open your eyes like that there is no going back.  It does not mean that you may change your choices.  It doesn’t mean that a marriage has to end.  But it may mean that for one or both of the partners it’s never the same.  

People change. Grow.  Stagnate. Get sick. Lose jobs.  Get fat. Get skinny. Lose themselves.  Find themselves.  People choose.  They choose to stay or go.  It can be character, it can be responsibility, it can be because despite it all, there is love, (maybe not the love you always imagined or the one you long to have fill you up - but a love just the same! One to be valued and respected.), but it can also be necessary to consider an ending.

Early on the question is, “How do I know it’s right?”

Later on, for all kinds of reasons, sometimes the question that begs for an answer is, “How do you know when it’s NOT right?”

And, if it isn’t, based on those “vows”, based on being true to yourself ,as well as true to the one you are with, what do you chose?  Either way.  There are no winners in the game.  When it comes to love, hearts break. They may not break even, but, broken, is broken.  I believe sometimes keeping vows can also mean “being broken”.  Maybe not in everything and in every way.  But, broken, is broken. Is that right?!

HE SAID... He's Asking

Tony Walker

My He Said for this week is actually a He's Asking.
I need to ask a question and I'm hoping to get some honest answers, even if it means you have to answer using an anonymous name. I hate anonymous but I realize that's the only way some people can post a comment.
The other day I was talking to a woman I know. She's had some health issues over the past 15-20 years. She said that her husband of 20 years has told her that he is leaving her.
She told me that he can't handle the health issues. She says he needs a perfect and healthy wife because HIS issues get in the way of being capable of loving someone who is otherwise.
You got that? It took me a few reads to get it.
At first my reaction to this was, "What a copout! He's a scumbag!"
But then I thought some more.
When I was getting my amputation (which was 6 years ago last week) a very close relative of mine told me to beware... my wife may not love me anymore because I won't be complete. He said he knew someone whose wife split because he was in a wheelchair and she couldn't handle it.
My wife hates me for many reasons but having a prosthetic leg isn't one of them. But this relative was right.... many people try but just can't handle having a spouse who has health issues, has a change in physical appearance, etc.
I know what some of you are thinking... "For better or worse, in sickness and in health...." But as someone who has more than my share of health issues I can tell you that even if you said "I do" you really don't know if "you do or don't" until you're actually in that situation. It's a very tough and stressful thing to go through.
So tell us what you think.
What do you think is the reason why someone can't handle being in a situation like that?
Do you know anyone who couldn't handle a spouse's issues?
Were you involved in a situation like this?
Or do you think that this reasoning is a copout?

Editors Note: Check out She Said... where DRL writer Jillian B Hart answers Tony

SUMMER "RE-RUN" - A Suggested Reading You Might Have Missed...

BRING ON THE SUMMER HEAT!!!

Need a little something HOT HOT HOT to kick off some summer romance?

SEVEN DAY SEX CHALLENGE, 

BRING IT OR BUST IT!?

Jillian B Hart

DEFINITIVE ADVICE ON "WHOM TO MARRY"

WHOM TO MARRY? (written by kids) 
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10 
 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. -- Camille, age 10 

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8 
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8 
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure) 

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10 

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7 ( Love her )

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - - Curt, age 7

-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. - - Howard, age 8 
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child ) 

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8 


And the #1 Favorite is ........ 
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.

She Said... SEXPECTATIONS

Jillian B Hart
After reading Tony's "He Said" from earlier today, where he ponders the "whys", "whens", and "wheres" of sex fitting into life -  it begs for a response.  Yet, all he got was crickets... not a comment was made!


The majority of men always wanting sex is a familiar concept.  As is that theme being a common thread in Tony's "He Said" posts.


According to Kinsey, (in a study done prior to the avenues available on the Internet),  54% of men think about sex several times a day.  Recalling memories of recent romps, fantasizing the future possibilities, as well as daring to day dreaming the wildest desires, all play a part in these carnal cravings that feed the need for some "lovin". At this point in time, it seems to me, many would agree - that number of 54% is grossly underestimated.  LOL

The NEWS FLASH however may be that many women want sex all the time too!   Sex in it's many amazing forms is singularly the most pleasurable act that a man and woman can engage in together.  Sex is and should be AMAZING!  Man or woman, who doesn't want to partake in an astounding erotic event? Sex is easy to come by --- whereas, love, connection and intimacy can be hard to pin point or even find in some relationships.  Males look for sex and find love... Females look for love and find sex. Of course a long term relationship with a lover sweetens the deal and both should happen and co-exist.  Yet that doesn't wash away that the thought process is different and therein lies the conflicting issues.  Our "sexpectations" are different.  If a guy gets off it's been good or even great - a woman needs more then the physical finish to feel fulfilled.

The road to nookie must be paved with intentions.  It matters not so much as to what is going on in life at that moment, whether it be - LIFE IS GOOD, or STOP THE WORLD I WANT TO GET OFF - as to what support is going to be had in the rest of life that doesn't involve sex.  

When your world is in crisis or days are blurring by with wonderment --- If a woman feels connected to her man, knows he's there emotionally, spiritually and physically to support her and their relationship and be part of a PARTNERSHIP then the rest flows freely.  It comes easily.  But if a woman feels like you aren't plugged into her and her feelings... then there "just ain't no turning it on!" 

That said... I will play devils advocate here and say - I'd bet some women play games with their men, his sexual prowess, and limitless libido, knowing all too well you can't always have your lollipop and lick it too!  Perhaps fellas, you need to know how to play back to win the game!


If you likes this post by Jillian check out:
What's So Complicated?!
Hart's Desire on Fire
Seven Day Sex Challenge, Bring It or Bust It?
Business Trip Part VII - Hart's Desire

WHAT DOES HIS GIFT REALLY SAY?

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

So many women find that after a while the gifts become impersonal and are given without thought or concern. Some find the gifts don’t come at all. And some wind up receiving the worst gift a husband or lover can give – the dreaded GIFT CARD!  This says “I just want to grab something and not think about it.”  It ranks right up there with the toaster, vacuum cleaner or blender for a gift. (unless of course that’s what your heart really desires!)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I need expensive gifts to feel loved. I just love the thought and time that goes into the choosing of the gift. The financial value truly doesn’t matter as much as knowing that my husband knows me, knows my likes and dislikes, my hobbies and habits. Many times the gift is not jewelry or flowers, but something I longed for but never mentioned because I really didn’t need it. Somehow he knows what’s in my heart and it magically appears under the Christmas tree or in my Easter basket!

When I was first married, I didn’t have the money for a set of good china. Besides that, I preferred a good sturdy set of stone wear. A few years ago I decided that I really wanted that delicate, classy china! But because of my love of history and all things from the past, I wanted antique china! My husband found a set of Noritake Azalea China from 1929 in perfect condition.  He surprised me with it on my birthday and had my mother in law get me the serving set to match.  Go on girls; tell me you can top that?  I don’t think so!

So if you’re wondering what the gift he gives you is saying, here’s a partial interpretation:

He got you: Holiday-themed chocolates

What it says: “I bought this at the supermarket on the way over here, probably because I’m surprised that we made it to the holidays and hadn’t planned on getting you anything.”



He got you: Plane tickets for a romantic getaway What it says: “I think our relationship is strong enough to withstand non-stop quality time and hearing/smelling each other’s bodily functions through the hotel’s bathroom door.”


He got you: A couple-friendly sex toy
What it says: “I’m tired of being on top.”



He got you: A solo sex toy just for you
What it says: “I’ve been fantasizing about this since the first time I saw you naked.”



He got you: A gym membership, after you’ve been complaining about how you want but can’t afford a gym membership

What it says: “I’m a little clueless, but thoughtful.”



He got you: A gym membership, despite you never mentioning your weight, exercise, or visiting a gym

What it says: “I’m clueless, and I’ll be sleeping on the couch this week.”



He got you: Anything he made himself

What it says: “If you weren’t sure how into you I am, the answer is very.”



He got you: A promise that your gift is on its way, coupled with mumbling about it being held up at the post office What it says: “I just ordered it yesterday and didn’t even splurge for overnight shipping.”



He got you: Lingerie that’s totally your style

What it says: “I know what makes you feel sexy and I’m willing to spend an hour at Victoria’s Secret looking creepy to give it to you.”





He got you: A framed picture of the two of you
What it says: “I’m a cheesy romantic.”



He got you: A framed picture of the two of you, blown up to the size of your bedroom wall

What it says: “I hope the cheesy romance factor conceals the fact that I have a shrine to you in my room and am knitting mittens out of your hair.”



He got you: A pet for the two of you

What it says: “I’ve already booked a caterer and reception hall for our wedding, just in case. Don’t mind the shelf of baby name books in my living room.”



He got you: A pair of earrings

What it says: “I think you’re worth a million bucks—but I could only afford $79.99 at Zale’s.”



He got you: A gift certificate to a spa

What it says: “I want you to feel completely pampered while I picture you being oiled up and rubbed down.”

List compiled by Diana Vilibert

I remember the Mother’s Day right after my daughter was born. My husband surprised me with a beautiful gold necklace and red roses. I felt special and loved, as I’m sure was his goal. As my children grew older and were able to buy gifts for themselves, I expected the Mother’s Day gifts from my husband to stop. They didn’t. Each year he gives me something personal, thoughtful, and beautiful. It means SO much because it tells me he still cares.