Tuesday, April 24, 2012


This week's He Said asks a question.... how many of you have a "one who got away?"

I was talking to a dear friend.... she was telling me about a guy. She's known this guy was "the one" since 1986. But he got away. To this day they both say they still have feelings for each other & realize, despite happy lives, they missed the boat.

My friend said she misses him so much & sometimes has a hard time with it. Meanwhile he appears to be fine with it... or so she thinks.

I spoke to a buddy of mine, a guy, who told me a long long time ago about his "one who got away." This buddy agreed women appear to have a harder time with this kind of situation... again, they appear to have a harder time.... my buddy says the men have just as hard a time as the women, the men just hide it better. My buddy really opened up to me about how he longs for his soulmate, his "one that got away". He has a good life-a wife and kids-but he feels a connection, a love for his "one." He claims his "one" feels the same. They've felt this way since 1987 & still talk about it to this day!

I know a few other people who claim they're the victims of "the one who got away." They all have different reasons why "the one" got away.... fights, religious, financial, jobs, family, etc. Yet, years later, they still yearn for that person. Now with the power of Facebook, many of these "ones" are finding their way back. Problem is, most of the ones I know are married people having affairs.

This got me thinking.... are these people really missing "the one" or are they in love with a memory? A what might have been notion? Has life hit them & their spouse so hard that they think of an earlier time & associate someone from that earlier time which turns them into "the one?" But, then... take the two friends I am talking about... they've never stopped loving their "one" since the eighties!! So are there a ton of people out there who have let "the one" get away? Just like that movie "The Notebook."

If you have let that "one" get away, why don't you go get that person? Isn't your happiness more important than anything else?

Tell us what you think...
Are you in this kind of situation? Why don't you drop everything & start a life with "the one?"
Do you think Facebook is enhancing people's temptations?


  1. Facebook puts what you've been missing "in your face". Hard to forget the "one" that way.

  2. The past looks better when you let yourself live in it --- Your friends need to move on and be faithful before people are hurt and lives are wrecked! Live NOW - that's where you are - it got away - you chose - let it be gone!

  3. Affairs... emotional or otherwise have a cause. Isn't there something "wrong" to begin with if Facebook leaves you breathless!

    The turning point is choosing if you focus on the problem or what seems like an answer (or a way to dull the pain). Or to play devils advocate... Isn't it possible to love more then one person. Don't we all love many different people. Often in many different ways? Love multiplies it doesn't divide. Keep boundaries and actions in check --- memories are harmless. Perhaps self inflicted torture - but harmless if simply remembered.

  4. slippery slope....I've not only said it before, but lived it - the grass is NEVER greener on the other side, and the "one that got away" will eventually piss you off the exact same way by never watering or cutting said grass...be happy within yourself and don't look for others to fill that void.

  5. I disagree Dawn. Perhaps the grass is greener. The garden may be way prettier and the view may be breathtaking. It doesn't need to negate what is. Sometimes seeing something else makes you long for better from right where you stand. If you work to make it better or walk away it's a choice. Being married or monogamous doesn't mean you have the right "one" or your only "soulmate". It means you choose, you work hard and you keep promises to the best of your ability. And, you do these things with love and respect for your mate & yourself.

    Perhaps it's possible to sometimes co-exist... blend worlds, if certain lines aren't crosses. If the said connections make you happier, and that happiness spills over, then aren't you better in all the other areas in you life. Isn't that happiness in you reflected in everything else. As Barbara said, love multiplies. If you fill your heart with love, then there is more to give. The risks evolve from how you choose to give and receive! There are limits and boundaries... and no one but the people involved should judge or know where or why they are set.
    What works in one marriage/relationship may not in another. Infidelity is a symptom not a cause. Like you said... happiness is a choice. Life is full of choices. Choose purposefully - not by default!

  6. You are not just in love with a memory... you are in love with what might of been... and what's worse is that you still wish it was.

  7. How about being the one, here and now. There’s a lot to be said for the person by your side every day. So easy to be taking that for granted. That person (him or hers) was the one – at least a very special one if “I do’s” were exchanged. Chances are somewhere from “I do” to now, stuff happened. Fix that. Work on that. People just don’t fall out of love, we let it happen. Relationships take work. Be successful; give yourself and your partner a raise. Find why you said “I do” again. Letting FB and memories cloud your mind and create empty promises will just make you feel empty. Love the one your with!

  8. I agree Danny...

    It's a throw away society - marriages last only when people want to put in the time and effort to fix them, forgive things and accept that everything isn't perfect. Not even love - but if you put the work in - it can be endless and unconditional! It's all about choices!

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