Friday, June 15, 2012


I wouldn't dream of stepping on Jillian's stilettos, but the term "mommy porn" in Tony's He Said, got my wheels turning too. I haven't read any of the Fifty Shades trilogy except for a few excerpts and was less than impressed with the writing. I never got to the kinky scenes which seem to be behind the books enormous popularity. I just don't understand why this is news and has brought about this term "mommy porn." Erotica has been around for a long time, anyone remember Anais Nin anymore? How about "the Story of O" or "Nine and a Half Weeks." It's not new. There's a long history of women reading and writing erotica. Some of us are really into it. This is a secret?

What about all those romance novels out there? The ones with the shirtless muscular men and women is various stages of undress. Those don't end with a chaste kiss like a Jane Austen novel. How many of us read "Forever" by Judy Blume? Let me rephrase that, how many us of just read that part of "Forever?" I don't think I even had kissed a boy when I read it. Yet I related to the longing, the fear of someone being more sexually experienced, and whether sex is a physical act or a romantic act. I wanted it to be both.

What makes erotica different from porn? Simple, there are characters. Maybe not always well-written or believable ones (Christian Grey, I'm looking at you), but actually characters with names and personalities. They have (gasp) feelings and ideas. There is a plot. Most porn is mainly directed at men. There is no plot, no character development. Many times the women are degraded, nameless fantasy f*ck dolls come to life. The woman is an object, there to service a man or men. There are no thoughts in her head and no one would care if there was. Sometimes it crosses over into violence. How would that be a turn on?

Sex can be kinky, it can push boundaries. Yet you have to feel safe within that situation. There is sex and there is romance which can include sex. Women, not just mommies, embrace their sexuality. Perhaps, these novels are letting them know they are not alone.

It's not news to me.

- The Good Girl

Wednesday, June 13, 2012


Jillian B. Hart
HMMMMMM...... "Mommy Porn",  REALLY? Is that what you (and or "they") are calling it, Tony?  At least that's what I read in your latest "He Said"
Let me think of what I want to say here... I'll be back...

Friday June 16, 2012
Alright --- Truth be told - Life got in the way, as usual my return took way longer then anticipated.  With a little luck it makes you miss me more...  

Where was I?!

"Mommy Porn", Seriously.  That emanates a bit like a backhanded compliment.  Kinda like MILF, it all depends on the way you say it and rarely coming across with the right je ne sais quoi.  
(Although occasionally can make one blush in all the right ways and can be complimentary.) There is a difference between porn and erotica and that's the thing that guys often miss.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with the right dash of erotica.  However all too often the man in your life suffers from ADD...  bringing home "Another Disastrous DVD"! Come on now! There is a difference, a big difference (and yes size matters! ...Sorry could help myself!) between erotica and porn... any porn.  

I'm always up for an evening or any other time of day that has wild sparks that ignite to uncontrollable flames. Erotica builds that fire.  It creates connection.  I'll watch, listen, read --- Hell, I write my own and enjoy it.  Most of us hunger for that connection.  Therein lies the difference - the disconnect vs. the connection.  Not that there isn't positives to be found from a mind blowing f*ck... but for the long term - connections and emotions count.  Many women don't "connect" to porn. Yet erotica has emotion and connection.  That's what gets our engines racing. If you get your woman all revved up before the flag I guarantee that the final finish will be fabulous! Isn't that the point of watching and or reading something spicy together? To whet you appetite in the fantasy for the real thing. To bring fantasy into your reality! No matter how good a girl you are if you want fireworks  "in the bedroom", if you like your reality with a healthy serving of fantasyland on the side, ALWAYS pack at least a little NAUGHTY WITH YOUR NICE!  Sometime the more the better. Erotica of any kind can help take your "lady" there. If you do that - winners all around. The more you win, the more you want to play. 

I was really prepared to get into quite a bit if a rant here... (Oh, wait I did, a little one, LOL), until I got a message from one of my "besties", The Good Girl.  She took the words right out of my mouth.  So I'll stop now and let her go strutting in my stilettos.  

I'll catch ya on the next one, Tony baby! Ha! I'll give you a great big rant then... hehehehe ;)

Tuesday, June 12, 2012


Tony Walker
What's with this 50 Shades Of Gray $hit?
I haven't read the book, or books, whatever it is.... but everyone says it's "Mommy porn." A term I hate by the way.
What makes the "porn" in this book more acceptable than actual porn?
Why is it ok for this book to be "mommy porn" but the videos I watch on YouPorn frowned upon?
Have you ladies been into porn all this time? If so why don't you sit & watch some with your man? Your man would LOVE IT!!! Some of you may even convince your man to watch "He's Just Not That Into You" & all the other chick flicks if you sit & watch some porn with him!!!
Someone explain this to me please. Better yet.... grab some red wine, come over to my house, kick off your shoes, climb into bed with me & read 50 Shades Of Gray to me!!!!

Monday, June 11, 2012


Barbara Ward-Finneran
I'm over it.  Over the worrying and wondering.  It never seems to go away.  It is a curse of the "mature" midlife adult.  It serves no purpose and yet at times it's practically impossible to dismiss. Practice being "Ms. Pollyanna Positive" all you want - (and I'm good at that!) - but it sneaks in.  It might not even be in the forefront.  Yet it dwells within you.  My "worry monster" usually rears it's ugly head if I wake up during the night.  My brain turns on with thoughts streaming though it worse then a gigantic meteor shower and not nearly as pretty.  In fact it can be pretty ugly and becoming worse.  Much like that buzzing in your ears, after a great concert or all night-er at a loud club way back when, that you can't turn it off.  

It is said that more then 90% of what you worry about never happens.  Human nature though, seems to refuse to let us rationalize that more often then not.  Especially at times more practically used for other things like sleeping.  Our worries transpose but they never seem to disappear.  It's the kids, ailing parents, relationships, obligations, professional issues, finances, job cuts, personal health concerns or scares, etc. etc. etc... The list goes on and on.  Most times it can be shaken off.   At others, not so much.  Those curve balls that life throws you seem to be ready to knock you square between they eyes and you can hardly muster the agility to duck.  Yet life goes on.  Changes. Morphs into the next great chapter.  Complete with it's own set of worries.  And joys!  Let's focus there. Embrace the good and blessings that abound.  Attitude is everything.  It's the difference between feeling like you are lost in the dark and realizing that if it wasn't for the darkness one could never appreciate the beauty of the stars.  

"Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess.  Just breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best." - Author Unknown

Kind of sums up a few of my "Barbara-isms":
Breathe, just breath!
Change and faith are the only constants.
Keep the promises that you make to yourself!
The best is yet to come!

Here's something I wrote from a while back.  An ironic and beautiful example of how the more things change, the more they stay the same - only different.  LOL 
Hakuna matata my friends, hakuna matata! XO

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The power of Perspective
(Author's Note: Written February 2010) 
A few mornings ago I hugged my boys goodbye, jetted out the door, and out of their sight exhaled with a heavy heart.  Wondering if this would be the last "normal" goodbye for a while.  Was it possible that the events forthcoming that morning could change my perspective of everything? Would my whole world feel different in a few hours? The thundering silence of my racing thoughts broken by the sound of my tears as I rushed to the appointment.
Sometimes despite our best efforts there is irony.  Almost a year ago, I looked forty in the eye and decided to make changes.  I adapted a healthier and more active lifestyle. Rededicated myself to and reinvented the girl who felt so alive when chasing my dreams.  In recent months I have looked and felt better then I have in years, yet in the last five weeks I have spent more time with doctors and undergone more tests then I can count on two hands.  
When summoned to the doctor's office for an immediate visit after numerous tests, there isn't any kind of warm fuzzy.  The phone call struck a cord in me that stole the air out of my lungs.  Welcome to another side effect of midlife - health scares.
It is difficult to muster the courage needed to channel your inner strength and to focus on the positive while sitting on a table, dressed in glorified paper towels, and waiting to sink your feet into stirrups while shivering.  Then concentrate on the discussion of tumors, surgical procedures and options while feeling completely vulnerable and still dressed in the fashionless paper gown.  Finally clothed, I sat with a tourniquet on my arm and watched the clear vial fill with the scarlet liquid that eventually may answer the cancer question. 
Sometimes life throws you a curve ball.  Worry is wasted energy!  It does not prevent the sorrows or fears of tomorrow, but steals today's strength and joys.  I'm choosing another route! Being empowered by pinpointing the positive and putting it in a prayerful place.  Cast aside your worries - join me there!