CHRISTMAS JOKES FOR KIDS

Which of Santas reindeer has bad manners? - Rude-alph!

What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? - Crisp Cringle.

What is green, white, and red all over? - A sunburnt elf.

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters? - They both drop their needles!.


What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? - Tinselitus!

CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS DECEMBER 24

Howard Hughes born on December 24, 1905

Bill Dudley born on December 24, 1921

Ava Gardner born on December 24, 1922

Michael Billington born on December 24, 1941

Lemmy born on December 24, 1945

Gaëtan Brizzi born on December 24, 1951

Paul Brizzi born on December 24, 1951

Clarence Gilyard Jr. born on December 24, 1955

Anil Kapoor born on December 24, 1959

Carol Vorderman born on December 24, 1960

Glenn McQueen born on December 24, 1960

Mark Valley born on December 24, 1964

Shirley Henderson born on December 24, 1965

Diedrich Bader born on December 24, 1966

Choi Jin Shil born on December 24, 1968

Brigitte Hamers born on December 24, 1969

Amaury Nolasco born on December 24, 1970

Beau van Erven Dorens born on December 24, 1970

Ricky Martin born on December 24, 1971

Hwang Soo Jung born on December 24, 1972

Francesca Vanthielen born on December 24, 1973

Mekhi Phifer born on December 24, 1974

Ryan Seacrest born on December 24, 1974

Michael Raymond-James born on December 24, 1977

Yildiray Basturk born on December 24, 1978

Paizley Adams born on December 24, 1980

Stephen Appiah born on December 24, 1980

Dima Bilan born on December 24, 1981

Masaki Aiba born on December 24, 1982

Abdoulaye Cisse born on December 24, 1983

Catie Anderson born on December 24, 1984

Robert Carmine born on December 24, 1984

Natalia Ziganshina born on December 24, 1985

Melissa Suffield born on December 24, 1992

SHE'S CRAFTY - HOLIDAY ICE WREATH

How to Make a Cranberry Ice Wreath

A cranberry-kumquat ice wreath is a lovely outdoor Christmas decoration for your home. The only requirement for this project is that the temperature outside be below freezing. This ice wreath is beautiful and unusual and will last as long as the temperature stays low. Remember to make room in the freezer for your ring pan before you begin.
To complete this ice wreath, you need the following supplies:

• 10 to 12 cup Bundt pan or other ring pan
• 1 cup cranberries
• 10 kumquats, sliced
• 24-inches of 2-inch-wide red ribbon

Then, follow these steps:

1. Fill the ring-shaped pan a third of the way with cold water. Sprinkle half of the cranberries  over the water. Freeze until firm.
   Use distilled water to make the frozen ring as clear as possible, or, boil and cool your tap water.
2. Add cold water to the mold so that it is about three-quarters full. Sprinkle in the remaining fruit. Freeze again.
3. Remove the wreath from the mold. Thread the ribbon through the center and tie a knot and bow near the ribbon’s end, resulting in a large loop underneath the bow.
4. Immediately hang outside.

www.dumbies.com

THE SHROUD OF TURIN - BRAND NEW RESEARCH SAYS IT'S AUTHENTIC!

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

The Shroud of Turin, the alleged burial cloth of Jesus Christ, has been at the center of controversy since it was first mentioned in historical records from 1353. Experts have studied and tested the shroud and none have provided definite proof of its authenticity or proven that it is a fraud. A piece of the cloth was carbon dated and found to be from the Middle Ages, but scientists have found that the piece was part of the shroud that was repaired and not part of the original shroud.

Today, scientists in Italy believe they have finally found the answer. They are 95% sure of the shroud’s authenticity. Researchers from Italy's National Agency for New Technologies, Energy and Sustainable Economic Development believe their findings undermine previous theories that the shroud was faked in the medieval period.

The markings on the shroud are as follows:

·  one wrist bears a large, round wound, claimed to be from piercing (the second wrist is hidden by the folding of the hands)

·   upward gouge in the side penetrating into the thoracic cavity. Proponents claim this was a post-mortem event and there are separate components of red blood cells and serum draining from the lesion

·  small punctures around the forehead and scalp

·  scores of linear wounds on the torso and legs. Proponents claim that the wounds are consistent with the distinctive dumbbell wounds of a Roman flagrum.

·   swelling of the face from severe beatings

·   streams of blood down both arms. Proponents claim that the blood drippings from the main flow occurred in response to gravity at an angle that would occur during crucifixion

·   no evidence of either leg being fractured

·   large puncture wounds in the feet as if pierced by a single spike

These markings are consistent with the reports of Christ’s experience during crucifixion.  The new reports have once again stirred up the controversy among believers and non believers.

My opinion?  I have to agree with Tom Chivers, assistant comment editor for “The Telegraph,”  The "authenticity" or otherwise of the Shroud of Turin does not have any implications for whether or not Christ was real, or whether He was divine. If it was a medieval forgery, it doesn't mean the stories aren't true; if it really was made in the first century AD, it doesn't mean they were.

ADAM LAMBERT ARRESTED

Singer and former American Idol runner- up Adam Lambert was arrested and briefly jailed Thursday in Finland. Lambert apparently had a brawl with his Finnish boyfriend, Sauli Koskinen. The two were reportedly arguing inside a well known gay bar called “Don’t Tell Mama” when the brawl rambled out into the street. Lambert became physical with people who tried to intervene. Police eventually arrived and took both Lambert and Koskinen into custody and charged them with multiple assaults.

 The actual cause of the argument has not been reported as of yet, but Koskinen has since blogged : "Publicity is not easy, but also celebrities are just human. Love is not easy either, but it lasts forever!”

SOUL FOOD

Barbara Ward-Finneran

Celebrate the you you are right now. Embrace the present moment and be proud of today. Armed with the power of knowing that the more you acknowledge and honor the present, the more there will be in life to celebrate. Potential can stretch far beyond anything you imagine --- all you have to do is dare to push it!

Keep the promises that you make to yourself!

Photo Courtesy of Barbara Ward-Finneran and Drawn 2 Design, LLC

©  All Rights Reserved

TRACKING SANTA

Dawn Boyle

For a few years now my kids have been using the site below to track where Santa is on Christmas Eve. It is a lot of fun for them and actually gets them to bed at a reasonable hour!

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/

Please share with everyone at DRL your favorite holiday sites in comments below!

IS BIGGER REALLY BETTER????

Natalie Molloy

B.J's , is bigger necessarily better? If you're reading this article you may be a "little" disappointed. The topic I'm "touching" on may not be what your curiosity led you to , however , I am a mother of three rapidly growing boys and I am always looking for the better solution. So, I ask again moms, dads when you do your shopping for your household do feel buying in bulk (bigger) is economically beneficial or is it smoke and mirrors?


My food bill each week keeps growing. Makes sense , I mean after all so are my kids. I've tried the B.J's thing , but I have to say , sometimes I feel that the more I have the more they eat. it doesn't last any longer, unless of course I'm purchasing paper goods or garbage bags at some ridiculous bulk size amount. Then, everything comes in over sized boxes and bags, HELLO - where am I storing all of this crap? Part of me wants them to eat everything just to create more space in my home!

How much am I really saving anyway? I'm spending way more than I do in the supermarket, but hey - I just bought half a cow? I don't know - I can't make sense of it. So I ask your help. What tricks of the trade do you have in grocery shopping?

I've watched that show "Extreme Couponing" and I can't wrap my brain around that either. These people shop and walk out with one hundred boxes of Cheerios - healthy, yes - breakfast , lunch & dinner - NO! Then they show their homes and the things they've stocked up on, really, nothing I could use or force myself to do so.

So , I turn to you - the public. Weigh in here, and help out a fellow shopper. Are you a believer in bulk, or does the intimate setting of your local grocer satisfy you?

"THE HOBBIT, THE UNEXPECTED JOURNEY" TAKES US BACK TO MIDDLE EARTH!

 Marion Pellicano Ambrose

Get ready to return to Middle Earth! The new trailer for the upcoming movie “The Hobbit, The Unexpected Joutney”, based on the book by JRR Tolkein, was released yesterday. The story of The Hobbit will be divided into two movies , the first being released next December (yes, one whole year from now!)

“The Hobbit” was the “must read” book when I was in college back in 19XX! Everyone was reading it, talking about it, analyzing its themes. It was first published in September of 1937 (and no, that’s NOT when I read it!)

According to Wikipedia: Set in a time "Between the Dawn of Færie and the Dominion of Men", The Hobbit follows the quest of home-loving hobbit Bilbo Baggins to win a share of the treasure guarded by the dragon, Smaug. Bilbo's journey takes him from light-hearted, rural surroundings into darker, deeper territory. The story is told in the form of an episodic quest, and most chapters introduce a specific creature, or type of creature, of Tolkien's Wilderland. By accepting the disreputable, romantic, fey and adventurous side of his nature (the "Tookish" side) and applying his wits and common sense, Bilbo develops a new level of maturity, competence and wisdom. The story reaches its climax in the Battle of Five Armies, where many of the characters and creatures from earlier chapters re-emerge to engage in conflict.

Themes of personal growth and forms of heroism figure in the story. Along with conflict, these themes lead critics to cite Tolkien's own experiences, and those of other writers who fought in World War I, as instrumental in shaping the story. The author's scholarly knowledge of Anglo-Saxon literature and interest in fairy tales are also often noted as influences. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hobbit)

The new film is the prequel to the popular “Lord of the Rings” movie and many of the characters/stars will return in the new Hobbit movie. Gandalf (Ian McKellen), Frodo (Elijah Wood) and Galadriel (Cate Blanchett) make appearances in the trailer, but we'll have to wait to see Legolas (Orlando Bloom), Elrond (Hugo Weaving) and Saruman (Christopher Lee).
I know many people are looking forward to this film with great anticipation. It may be a year before the release, but at least we now have a trailer to take a sneak peak!

THE BEST GIFT

Dawn Boyle

Tis the Season....

What a bunch of crap that is! Why is it that we have lost sight of the real reason we celebrate December 25? With only days away from the Big Guy coming down the chimney, why is it so difficult? Why am I not in the holiday spirit? Why can't I find my lists??

Every year I say the same thing, every year I fail. Is it because the only snow we have had so far was back on Halloween weekend? Could it be because I am still rocking flip-flops the end of December? I am not sure.

I don't know how my parents kept it together all those years. I never saw them sweat around this time of year. I only remember the excitement of decorating the tree, running from house party to house party with them and singing Christmas carols at the top of our lungs.....what is wrong with me?

Everything is a rush, my house is a mess. I am not even close to being done and seriously...where are my lists?? I plan on kicking it into gear. I vow to finish EVERYTHING by Thursday so I can enjoy my family and host a truly fabulous Christmas Eve. I need to do this for my kids cause all they have seen is me sweating the past few weeks and I feel like a failure. More important than that Ipads or Uggs will be the time spent, that's what they will remember - not the gifts!

I am putting the pedal to the metal! The house will be clean, the food will be ready to go for Saturday, the gifts will be purchased and wrapped and I will spend Thursday and Friday actually enjoying the best gift of all....my children and my husband.

EATERY IS OPEN POTATO LATKES

 

 

 

Directions

Peel and finely grate the potatoes. Put them straight into cold water, then drain and squeeze them as dry as you can by pressing them with your hands in a colander. This is to remove the starchy liquid, which could make the latkes soggy.

Beat the eggs lightly with salt, add to the potatoes, and stir well. Film the bottom of a frying pan with oil and heat. Take serving-spoonfuls, or as much as 1/4 cup of the mixture and drop into the hot oil. Flatten a little, and lower the heat so that the fritters cook through evenly. When one side is brown, turn over and brown the other.
Makes about 6
Lift out and serve very hot.

WANNA LAUGH?!?!?!?

THE STORY OF CHANUKAH

Long ago in the land of Judea there was a Syrian king, Antiochus. the king ordered the Jewish people to reject their God their religion, their customs and their beliefs and to worship the Greek gods. There were some who did as they were told, but many refused. One who refused was Judah Maccabee.

Judah and his four brothers formed an army and chose as their name the word "Maccabee", which means hammer. After three years of fighting, the Maccabees were finally successful in driving the Syrians out of Israel and reclaimed the Temple in Jerusalem. The Maccabees wanted to clean the building and to remove the hated Greek symbols and statues. On the 25th day of the month of Kislev, the job was finished and the temple was rededicated.

When Judah and his followers finished cleaning the temple, they wanted to light the eternal light, known as the N'er Tamid, which is present in every Jewish house of worship. Once lit, the oil lamp should never be extinguished.

Only a tiny jug of oil was found with only enough for a single day. The oil lamp was filled and lit. Then a miracle occurred as the tiny amount of oil stayed lit not for one day, but for eight days.

Jews celebrate Chanukah to mark the victory over the Syrians and the rededication of the Jerusalem Temple.The Festival of the Lights, Chanukah, lasts for eight days to commemorate the miracle of the oil. The word Chanukah means "rededication".

In America, families celebrate Chanukah at home. They give and receive gifts, decorate the house, entertain friends and family, eat special foods, and light the holiday menorah.

SHE'S CRAFTY - EVERYGREEN GARLAND

 

 

Instructions

Things You'll Need

• Floral Wires
• Garden Shears
• Twine
• Craft Wire
• metallic, gold-mesh wired ribbons

1. • 1
     Gather a wheelbarrow full of evergreen trimmings. Some suggestions are cedar, pine, fir, juniper, redwood, oak, bay laurel and asparagus fern.
   • 2
     Cut the trimmings to a length of 6 inches.
   • 3
     Lay a 10-foot length of string or twine on a large, flat surface. Tie a loop in one end of the string.
   • 4
     Attach #24 floral wire - also called paddle wire - to the loop end of the string. Keep the wire attached to the spool and unravel it as needed.
   • 5
     
     

     Select several foliage pieces and place them together in a bunch, with the stems at one end. You can mix different kinds in one bundle.
   • 6
     Place the bundle of foliage at the loop end of the string with the stems pointing toward the long end of the string.
   • 7
     Wrap the floral wire around the stems and string to secure them in place.
   • 8
     
     

     Wrap the floral wire around the bundle twice and then pull it tight. Make sure to leave the wire attached to the string.
   • 9
     Gather another bundle of foliage and lay it so that the stems overlap the first bunch and cover the stems. Make sure that all the stems are facing the same direction.
   • 10
     
     

     Continue the process of overlapping the bunches of foliage and wiring them to the string until you run out of string.
   • 11
     
     

     When you get to the end of the string, twist the wire tightly around the last bundle's stems, and knot the wire and the string together. Leave 12 inches of wire (to attach the garland where you want it) and cut the wire with scissors or pruning shears.

Read more: How to Make an Evergreen Garland | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_6919_make-evergreen-garland.html#ixzz1cmjae3WA

HE SAID....STOP THE BS!

Tony Walker

"I'll wait until he says something first."
"Let me check that girl out... that will piss her off!!"
"I'm not going to say a word. He knows what he did."
"You're the one with the problem. Not me."
"I'll go out with my friends then post the photos on Facebook. That will drive him crazy!"
Mind games. Also known as high school type bullshit. I have a confession to make. When I was in my teens & twenties I thought only women played mind games. Now in my forties, I know that both men & women do it.
What is this all about???
Posting pictures of parties on Facebook, knowing that a certain someone is going to see them. Not talking to someone who pissed you off. Saying something insensitive to get a rise out of someone.
What the hell is you with you people who play these games???
Speak your mind damnit!! Say what's on your mind! Don't tell me you don't have a problem with me when you do!!
Speak up!
Man up!
Grow a set of balls!
Tell us what you think. Share with us some of your mind games experiences. We all have at least one.

WHAT MATTERS...

Barbara Ward-Finneran

Using your charm for all the right reasons. 

Doing any small thing that makes a BIG difference. 

Being thankful.  

Taking care of - YOU!

Praying often. 

An opportunity to learn. 

Keeping the promises that you make to yourself!

WANNA LAUGH?!?!?!? ...10 Reasons Why a Woman WOULD LIKE to Be Santa Claus

1. There'd be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the office.

2. No one would bother to ask Santa Claus for a ride to work.

3. Buy one big brown belt and you'd be accessorized for life.

4. You'd always work in sensible footwear.

5. You'd never be expected to make the coffee.

6. There'd be no need to play office politics; a hearty ho-ho-ho would remind everyone who is the boss.

7. Juggling work and family would be easy.  All your children would adore you.

8. You'd never take the wrong coat on your way home.

9. You could grow a tummy the size of Texas and consider it a job requirement of a funny Santa Claus.

10. No one would ask to see your job description, or ask what you do all day.

50 RULES FOR DADS OF DAUGHTERS

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

My husband and I were watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for the 100th time tonight, and each time we think of our daughter who grew up loving this movie. She and her dad would sing and act out the "You're my little choochie face" scene every time. It made me think of what a great dad my husband has been. He's always been there for our daughter, through the laughter, the tears, the emergency room trips and the boyfriend blues. There isn't anything he wouldn't do for her and Lord help the boy who mistreats or disrespects her!

I had a wonderful dad, who loved me and spent time with my sister and me. He took me to Peter Pan Playland at least one Sunday each month and built wooden swings for us. He watched us when my mom went to work as a nurse on the weekends and made us sugar and butter sandwiches and let us eat them in bed while watching game shows which were forbidden by mom! When we neighborhood kids put on our tacky little shows, my dad was always in the audience (and often paid other people to come in and watch too). He worked hard to support us and did everything to make what little we had feel special. As a result, my sister and I always thought we were rich. Now that's a great Dad!
Some dads today don't seem to have the time to spend drinking tea from tiny play cups or building space stations out of Legos. It might be long hours at work or hours spent on the internet when they get home. but for some, playing with their kids just doesn't happen. I know one dad who adored his little boy and doted on him, but then he got an iphone. The poor little boy tugs on dad's sleeve to play but dad is constantly texting, playing angry birds and checking his facebook page. It's such a shame.
For those dads and for new dads who don't really know what they should do with a new baby girl, here's the lowdown. I read this article that was forwarded to me and couldn't help crying as I read. I saw my husband and my own dad in the words. Please take the time to read this amazing piece by Michael Mitchell.

50 RULES FOR DADS OF DAUGHTERS

1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.

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2. Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each other’s presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit idly by while she add years to her… add life to her years.

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3. Save the day. She’ll grow up looking for a hero. It might as well be you. She’ll need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional.

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4. Savor every moment you have together. Today she’s crawling around the house in diapers, tomorrow you’re handing her the keys to the car, and before you know it, you’re walking her down the aisle. Some day soon, hanging out with her old man won’t be the bees knees anymore. Life happens pretty fast. You better cherish it while you can.

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5. Pray for her. Regularly. Passionately. Continually.

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6. Buy her a glove and teach her to throw a baseball. Make her proud to throw like a girl… a girl with a wicked slider.

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7. She will fight with her mother. Choose sides wisely.

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8. Go ahead. Buy her those pearls.

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9. Of course you look silly playing peek-a-boo. You should play anyway.

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10. Enjoy the wonder of bath time.

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11. There will come a day when she asks for a puppy. Don’t over think it. At least one time in her life, just say, “Yes.”

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12. It’s never too early to start teaching her about money. She will still probably suck you dry as a teenager… and on her wedding day.

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13. Make pancakes in the shape of her age for breakfast on her birthday. In a pinch, donuts with pink sprinkles and a candle will suffice.

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14. Buy her a pair of Chucks as soon as she starts walking. She won’t always want to wear matching shoes with her old man.

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Photo Credit :: Danielle Rocke Toews

15. Dance with her. Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby. Don’t wait ‘til her wedding day.

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16. Take her fishing. She will probably squirm more than the worm on your hook. That’s OK.

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17. Learn to say no. She may pitch a fit today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.

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18. Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.

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19. Teach her to change a flat. A tire without air need not be a major panic inducing event in her life. She’ll still call you crying the first time it happens.

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20. Take her camping. Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces. Leave the iPod at home.

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21. Let her hold the wheel. She will always remember when daddy let her drive.

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22. She’s as smart as any boy. Make sure she knows that.

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23. When she learns to give kisses, she will want to plant them all over your face. Encourage this practice.

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24. Knowing how to eat sunflower seeds correctly will not help her get into a good college. Teach her anyway.

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25. Letting her ride on your shoulders is pure magic. Do it now while you have a strong back and she’s still tiny.

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26. It is in her nature to make music. It’s up to you to introduce her to the joy of socks on a wooden floor.

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27. If there’s a splash park near your home, take her there often. She will be drawn to the water like a duck to a puddle.

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28. She will eagerly await your return home from work in the evenings. Don’t be late.

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29. If her mom enrolls her in swim lessons, make sure you get in the pool too. Don’t be intimidated if there are no other dads there. It’s their loss.

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30. Never miss her birthday. In ten years she won’t remember the present you gave her. She will remember if you weren’t there.

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31. Teach her to roller skate. Watch her confidence soar.

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32. Let her roll around in the grass. It’s good for her soul. It’s not bad for yours either.

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33. Take her swimsuit shopping. Don’t be afraid to veto some of her choices, but resist the urge to buy her full-body beach pajamas.

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34. Somewhere between the time she turns three and her sixth birthday, the odds are good that she will ask you to marry her. Let her down gently.

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35. She’ll probably want to crawl in bed with you after a nightmare. This is a good thing.

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36. Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand. Never forget this.

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37. Introduce her to the swings at your local park. She’ll squeal for you to push her higher and faster. Her definition of “higher and faster” is probably not the same as yours. Keep that in mind.

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38. When she’s a bit older, your definition of higher and faster will be a lot closer to hers. When that day comes, go ahead… give it all you’ve got.

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39. Holding her upside down by the legs while she giggles and screams uncontrollably is great for your biceps. WARNING: She has no concept of muscle fatigue.

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40. She might ask you to buy her a pony on her birthday. Unless you live on a farm, do not buy her a pony on her birthday. It’s OK to rent one though.

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41. Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas. Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together.

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42. Let her know she can always come home. No matter what.

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43. Remember, just like a butterfly, she too will spread her wings and fly some day. Enjoy her caterpillar years.

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44. Write her a handwritten letter every year on her birthday. Give them to her when she goes off to college, becomes a mother herself, or when you think she needs them most.

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45. Learn to trust her. Gradually give her more freedom as she gets older. She will rise to the expectations you set for her.

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46. When in doubt, trust your heart. She already does.

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47. When your teenage daughter is upset, learning when to engage and when to back off will add years to YOUR life. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

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48. Ice cream covers over a multitude of sins. Know her favorite flavor.

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49. This day is coming soon. There’s nothing you can do to be ready for it. The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be.

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50. Today she’s walking down the driveway to get on the school bus. Tomorrow she’s going off to college.   Don’t blink.


http://www.fromdatestodiapers.com/50-rules-for-dads-of-daughters