WHAT'S SO COMPLICATED?!

Ms. Jillian B. Hart

What’s been shakin’ since I started hanging at the lounge have been lots of requests for a Q&A forum.  To which I am both bemused and humbled as I feel my prose take straight forward common sense approach to life with your mate.  

It seems simple to me to do what you need to do to gain a desired outcome - whether for inane every day activities - or goals and dreams.  

First off - I will state that I am not a doctor or professional of any sort in the field of therapy or related “muses”, but rather have been accused most of my life of being intuitive to relationship and life issues.  My remarks are opinion and observation based and laced with emotion from the heart.  

So lets start with the simple.  Mar & Venus in the bedroom was the hot topic at the lounge some posts back.  The inquiries posed to me recently will be addressed, by combining the main objectives into one generalized question, “How do I get my husband to help and pay more attention to my needs?” 

If the difference are so apparent and are recognized, why fight so hard against what you already know?! 

Constantly many women state that they want more help with the household chores and responsibilities as well a support with kids needs and activities.  Also there statements about desiring more intimacy and attention.  Men’s biggest or most common gripe - they want more sex.  It’s different for guys.  If the sex quota is good - then practically everything else is good too.  If the sex quota is good they are happier.  When you are happy, most people tend to be more outgoing, attentive and helpful.  So here I see the no brainer, which apparently seems to escape the overworked, economically challenged, sleep deprived and multitasking couples of thirty and forty something clubs.

Ladies, if you want more attention make the “sacrifices” to warrant it and the rest will come.  We all know men pay attention to sexy women. If you don’t feel it - act it.  Sexy isn’t about size or shape but rather it’s about confidence and attitude.  Which is ramped up when you look and feel good.  Fix your hair. Paint your nails. Apply some make up. Gloss those lips. Pick some pretty and matching undergarments. Choose an outfit that flatters you, not swallows you. Never forget the power trip that accompanies of a nice pair heels.  Let me head off the “nasty grams” by saying do this for YOU.  To make YOURSELF feel good!  That “feel good” euphoria will be contagious.  It will turn his head.  Smile and speak kindly.  Amazingly, this just might, give you a companion to with do the dishes or make the kids lunches. If need be ASK for HELP.  Awkward chit chat during the mundane can grow to effortless conversation and bedroom eyes.  Foreplay that a lady can relate too.  Then by all means.  Give in.  Take one for the team.  HAVE SEX!  Astonishingly more attention usually follows. (Isn’t that what you want???) Positive reinforcement is a wonderful tool.  He’ll be noticing you and wanting to be around this sexy woman who now is putting pizazz in the drab.  

He gets more.  You get more.  Don’t you both win and get what you want? Sex to men is often equated to things being well and good.  Where as women are turned off to sex when they feel ignored and unappreciated.  But something has got to give - or the rut remains.  Go out on a limb put some stilettos and eyeliner on - see where it gets you.  Then, dare I say, DO IT AGAIN, in like 72 hours or less.  Repeat as necessary until it becomes normal and desired.  Change will come.  A happy man is a better person, husband and father!  SEX MAKES MEN HAPPY!!!  What’s so complicated???


Editors Note:  Please direct questions for Jillian to delayedreactionlounge@gmail.com
or use the email link at the top of the blog.  Kindly write Attention Jillian in the subject line.