Doing Stand Up "Tonight": Dawn Boyle
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making guy steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”
“Today is the worst of my life.
First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office.
My boss, outrageous, fires me.
When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen.
I get a cab to return home, and when I get out of the cab, I forgot my wallet, cash and credit cards in the there.
The cab driver just drives away.”
“When I get home, I find my wife in bed with the gardener.
I leave home, and come to this bar.
And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”