NEW YEAR WITH THE GOOD GIRL

At the brink of another New Year there's the reoccurring theme from many of my friends that it's a big deal. I hear their resolutions and promises that they swear they'll keep. Their insistence that this year, it will be different. They are more committed. It's going to happen. 2013 is THE year. And New Year's is all about the promise of a new start. A clean slate.

But on January 1st, 2013, won't it just feel the same as always? You will wake up with a groan and feel those same aches. You will complain about the weather. You will tell your children not to wipe their hands on their clothes. You will get caught in the rain. Like the holidays that come at the end of the year, with all that preparation and effort, the New Year brings so much expectation building momentum as it draws closer. Midnight strikes! The year lies ahead. The fresh start. Then it's gone. All that excitement falling to the ground like a deflated balloon. Not with a bang. Soundlessly. Drifting off into a corner, found days later.

2013 will be like every year we’ve ever known. It is the year of:

Getting too much sun even though you know you shouldn't.
A squeeze of your hand that makes everything better.
Drifting away from a long-time friend.
A great haircut.
Losing those few pounds.
A hug when you need it.
Watching a sunset.
Gaining back the weight.
A crayon drawing from your child that you tuck away.
Forgetting your umbrella.
Coming across the right pair of shoes.
Wasting too much time online.
Laughing with your children.
Crying in the shower.
Sleepless nights.
A book that you'll treasure.
The right words when you need to hear them.
A final good-bye.
The same old.
Last year was so good...and so bad. For me, 2012 was the year I watched my dad struggle with cancer. The year my boyfriend put so much at stake with a new business. The year of too many financial worries and too few professional gains. The year of my friends going through the loss of a parent. Finally acknowledging the anger I have towards my ex's family. Having my purse stolen. Visiting family. Having two summers. Spending time with dear friends and having our children play together. A sunset cruise to the Statue of Liberty. Riding every roller coaster. Another birthday. Another Valentine's Day. Another first day of school. Another Christmas.

This coming year is just like every year, isn't it? With it's struggles and it's triumphs. The joy. The heartbreak.

So I raise a toast to this New Year because it’s the same as it always has been— One where anything could happen. 

See you in 2013,
The Good Girl

NOTHING VENTURED, NOTHING GAINED

Barbara Ward-Finneran

You never know for certain if trying something new will work out better then what you did prior to the new.  However if you never try something different, if you aren't willing to take a risk, you will certainly never find out.  It involves taking a leap of faith without being certain where you will land.  Or if you will even land on your feet.  In fact there's a good chance you could land on you ass.  Even then, from your bottom the best place to look from there is up.  Perhaps the hardest part is leaving your comfort zone.  That safe place where you have abided... sometimes for far too long.  Does the action of a calculated risk mean you've relinquished some sanity?  Who in their right mind leaves a job in this time of economic hardship to venture out into the unknown?  Naysayers will tell you to stay where you are and wait for a better time or place.  Wait to be really ready. My argument is, that that time may never come.  Perhaps we have to be brave enough to create the time and place. You are never going to be ready. However you can be fearless enough to ignore all that you hear except the voice in your heart that beats in time with the dream.  

Changing course and plotting a new path can be something dangerous to your stability and risky to life as you know it.  Yet, isn't the biggest risk challenging yourself to rise to the occasion?  Sure failure can result, but isn't the biggest failure not trying at all. Accept the fact that what you do could have negative repercussions and bravely move forward knowing that lessons learned will make it all worthwhile.  The "education" of the process will make you better and "smarter" then you are at this very moment. One you convince yourself that the risk is worth the gain,  it'll be easier to listen you your heart say "go for it", even when the mind wants to retreat and remind you that "you have no idea of what you are doing or all this will entail".  

The best ventures need to involve - not necessarily equal parts of passion, sense, dream, apprehension and adventure.  Taking a risk is dangerous, courageous, and maybe even preposterous.  It is also to be celebrated!  Even it terrifies you.  If you aren't at least a little bit scared then you probably aren't vested enough in the desired outcome.  A risk taker must be willing to bet the highest stakes on themselves. Be willing to work hard and put yourself out there... out of the box and out of your comfort zone. Be willing to go BIG or go home.  Willing to close your eyes and make a wish.  Vow all the blood, sweat and tears needed to make it work and take a leap of faith.  I do believe I'm there....
GERONIMOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

THE PANIC MODE PITY PARTY OF MY SO CALLED (Possibly) "MID-LIFE CRISIS"

Tony Walker
With the help of two wonderful people, Barbara & Dawn, I am going to make something happen with a show I wrote with my super duper business partner, April Keough, for our comedy group. We've been told by many people that this show has the potential to be something special. Something will happen.... I can feel it... but one thing I lack is patience. I want something to happen yesterday. I want something happening right now. I need something to happen because my finances are at an all time low & I am in panic mode. Along with panic mode comes the pity party I play on myself. (Or play with myself but that's a whole other story!)

The target audience of the Lounge are the 40 somethings (plus & minus more!), so maybe some of you 40 somethings can identify with what I'm going through.

How many of us grew up thinking that your whole life had to be in place by the time we hit 40 something? A change of career? Starting over? No way! Impossible! While I'd like to think I am a person who thinks out of the box, the truth is in this case I'm not. I am worried that I will lose my house before our show hits. I feel a sense of failure because I am 41 with a wife & 2 kids & I'm all over the place trying to find my place to make my mark. I am so stressed I hardly sleep, I've gained weight, & this 41 year old looks more like a 51 year old.... not that there's anything wrong with that.... but you know what I mean.

Sometimes I can't help thinking that if I had stayed at my job I would only have a few years left until retirement & financially we would be OK. But my job wanted to make me miserable because once I had my amputation they didn't want me. So what kind of life is that if I am miserable? As much as I would've hated my life I can't help think that security might have been a better way to go. Who knows... most likely if I didn't take this chance I'd be in my miserable job wishing I did take this chance. I am so confused!!!

How many of you have changed careers or made some kind of major life change around this age?
Did you feel like a failure?
Did you decide to stay in the safety of a miserable job?
Is this what a mid life crisis is?
Tell us what you think.