TO THE MOTHERS...

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed.  ~Linda Wooten


May the blessings of motherhood fill your heart on this day and always! 

TRIVIA Inspired by Mothers...

Did you know...

Highest Number of Children in Modern Times

The modern world record for giving birth is held by Leontina Albina from San Antonio, Chile. Leontina claims to be the mother of 64 children, of which only 55 of them are documented. She is listed in the 1999 Guinness World Records but dropped from later editions. 

During the third season of the Cosby Show, actress Phylicia Rashad was pregnant, and to cover it up, producers raised the counters on the kitchen set, and cut a hole in the Huxtables' bed, so that her stomach would appear level.

August is the most popular month in which to have a baby, with more than 360,000 births taking place that month in 2001.

Tuesday is the most popular day of the week in which to have a baby, with an average of more than 12,000 births taking place on Tuesdays during 2001.

In the Bible, Eve is credited with being the 'Mother of All the Living.'

In 2004, Marge Simpson was voted the UK's "Most Respected Mother" in a poll conducted by the Mothers' Union.   She beat Cherie Blair and Victoria Beckham. 

A female oyster over her lifetime may produce over 100 million young.

A mother giraffe often gives birth while standing, so the new born's first experience outside the womb is a 1.8-meter (6-foot) drop.

Rosa Parks was the mother of bus boycott in Montgomery, Alabama that launched the Civil Rights Movement.

Patridge Family matriarch Shirley Jones was actually David Cassidy's stepmother.   She married actor Jack Cassidy, when David was 6. 

The ancient Greeks celebrated Mother's Day in spring, like we do. They used to honor Rhea, "mother of the gods" with honey-cakes and fine drinks and flowers at dawn. Sounds like the beginnings of the Mother's Day tradition of breakfast in bed!

Hindu scripture credits the Great Mother, Kali Ma, with the invention of writing through alphabets, pictographs and beautiful sacred images.

June Cleaver was famous for doing housework in heels and pearls, but Barbara Billingsley, the actress who played her, later said that there were practical reasons for the wardrobe-the pearls hid shadows on her neck and the heels allowed her to remain taller than her rapidly growing TV sons.

George Washington once said, "My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her."

Native American Indian women have long been honored with the name, "Life of the Nation" for their gift of motherhood to the tribes.

Marion Cunningham of Happy Days was an archeology major in college.

Native American Indian women have long been honored with the name, "Life of the Nation" for their gift of motherhood to the tribes.

9.9 million The number of single mothers living with children younger than 18 in 2010, up from 3.4 million in 1970 .

Anna Jarvis of Philadelphia began the campaign that brought about the official observance of Mother's Day in the United states. Her mother died, and Anna wanted all mothers to be remembered. She asked that white carnations be the official mother's day symbol. In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson signed the orders that made Mother's Day a national holiday.  Just nine years later, Anna filed a lawsuit in an effort to stop the over- commercialization of Mother's Day. She lost her fight. Now, cards, letters, candy and dinners out mark Mother's Day for most families. Anna had hoped for a day of reflection and quiet prayer by families, thanking God for all that mothers had done.

Mother Earth is also known as "Terra Firma". That title is a Latin translation of some lines from one of the Greek poet, Homer's, greatest poems.

85.4 million Estimated number of mothers in the United States in 2008.

FEAR NOT!

Deanna Verbouwens

Drowning, Abductions, Choking, Oh MY! I keep myself awake at night thinking about all these terrible things that could happen to my children. These are fears that send me running for a bag of Lays along with getting run-over, home-invasions, and fire (I get some sense of security when my FDNY hubby is home, I know he can handle at least one thing besides playing solitaire on the PC). I realize that the chances of these things happening are rare, well maybe not too rare but the odds are probably NOT against me. Illogical perhaps, scary as Jason sure and definitely a little bit crazy. Absof**kinglutley. And here’s how crazy--I have a ritual before bed each night, I set-up booby traps by every door and window, then I check on the kids to make sure they’re breathing, next I take the cell phone into my bedroom and turn off the lights to make sure I can dial 911 in the dark, and last but not least I run several different escape plans through my head before I close my eyes. I know, I know, crazy as drunk doing the Macarena.

You’d think that I would have had homing devices implanted in my kid’s asses or at least wrap them in bubble wrap before they left the house. Hey, now that I think about it - not bad ideas. The homing devices would be magical when they are teenagers because I’d know where they were at all times. I can see it now: I’d have a map in the my closet covered with little red push pins as I tracked their every move and maybe I could rig it so an alarm would sound when they hit the local 7-11 to try and buy beer with a fake ID of some random 52 year old man. Now that would give me peace of mind.

Ahhh a mom can dream, but since that’s not happening, how do I find the balance? I need to make sure my kids are protected from the ills of the world and give them enough freedom so they’re not neurotic messes and afraid of their own shadow by age 15. Do I prohibit them from doing anything that is remotely dangerous or send them out there to break every bone in their body? How do I successfully implement the “Don’t talk to strangers” spiel when I reprimand them when they don’t respond to a stranger in Target who have just asked them their age. Now that one is a 100% walking contradiction. Note to self, stress to the kids it’s only okay to talk to strangers when their with Mom and Dad.

So does anyone have any idea where the happy medium exists between becoming an over-protective neurotic Mom or the cool laid back chick that has it all under control? Maybe the answer is to take a little crazy from one and a little chill pill from the other. Like, I let them walk to their friend’s house when they are 15 but they have to call me when they arrive. Perhaps the perfect combination of instilling the right amount of common sense in my kids so they know to run when they see a white van, ’cause it’s always a white van right? Or a guy walking a dog, or a ball on the train tracks or a too big bite of chicken, or a… Oh shit, time for the chill pill.

Find more from Deanna:  www.theunnaturalmother.com

ADOLESCENCE TAKE TWO - UGH!!!

Barbara Ward-Finneran

The world is different now.  It happened gradually and yet it happened all of a sudden.  It's something to celebrate and yet it can practically terrify me.  I'm uncertain which part is harder or worse.  My little boy is not so little anymore.  He's not little at all. Every milestone  through the years has meant the world to me - as this was the little boy "they" told me would never go to a "real school" because of his Autism Spectrum Disorder.  Now that seems like a lifetime ago.

He's closing in on twelve in the coming months and is actively spreading his wings in "Middle School".  For the most part all is good.  Very, very good.  He is happy and working very hard to have as much success as possible academically and socially. He's taken the school changes in stride and is maintaining his grades with extra effort and work.  I am so proud of my son and his accomplishments. 

He lives quite the "normal" life.  Perhaps right now it feels a little too normal as there is no shortage of pre-adolescent experiences.  He's rockin' them just like his peers.  Which I embrace as a blessing - yet it breaks my heart.  As parents, out hearts break a little when our kids hurt, and it matters not why... it just breaks.  Along with all the goodness of growing up, has arrived the catalysts of things that challenge and rattle self esteem and shake confidence.  Why is this a right of passage? Why has it not gone away in the decades since I lived through it? Why do I have to hear pain in my son's little boy's voice now sometimes "cracking" in it's desire to become deeper?

In recent weeks everything matters more.  It's as if his eye have become aware of every detail and nuance that used to matter not.  There was a blessing in that ignorance which has been lost to keen sight. He's noticed that what was once an all encompassing circle of friends is now taking the natural course of evolving into cliques and he's struggling with where he "fits".  An unspoken code of musical friends and endless competition has reared it's ugly head.  He's all too aware of girls and worries what they think and wonders why they sometimes laugh so much and squeal so loud.  He's learned that although there are things he still adores and loves to play - that it's just "not cool" to advertise these interests. He's questioning changes in his body and wondering why he's "feeling" more physically and emotionally.  All normal growing pains of tweens finding their way to teens. These seem easier and simpler to deal with, discuss and explain away.  What's cutting me to my core are the ones that haunt me from my own adolescence.

He's notice that his hair is different.  Curly.  Like my own and he wants it straight, "like everyone else". (Lord knows, I cried a bucket of tears over that one. Did have my revenge in the 80s when big hair came in - but that's another blog.)   He's beside himself at times fighting the tears welling in his beautiful blue eyes, that he wants his "flat tummy" back.  (Again, all too reminiscent of my own days as a tween who dealt with being "overweight" - combined with the already existing "Mommy Guilt" of having had my boys seemingly find some of the weight I have lost in the last two years!) It's hard enough to deal with finding the right words and way to guide your kids - without your own inner tween getting in the way.  Hard to comfort this frenzy of insecurity when hearing your child talk about it floods your memories to the surface.  Having that empathy of having "been there done that" --- makes hearing their hurt all the worse. Makes it harder to comfort and makes you want to comfort it even more. Good grief... adolescence was hard enough the first time around!  Would you have ever imagined that it could be worse the next time.  I expected the happening growing pains.  I was ready for them.  I was however, in denial of  "Adolescence Take  Two"- dishing growing pains to the parents with a whole new helping of hurt. In denial of the fact that I'd be feeling so much of them. That I'm not done with my own - for parenthood seem to now have it's own share of growing pains... and frankly, at the risk of sounding like a tween - THAT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!!

SEXIST STYLING

The Good Girl
I am the mother of a seven-year old girl. As a typical mom, I think she is just a bundle of amazing. She's beautiful, smart, funny, imaginative, loving, sweet and playful. And what is really great, what warms my heart, is that she thinks so too. She believes it with every fiber of her being. She wakes up every morning feeling that she is just as special as I think she is. Even with her hair all out of place, missing teeth and a chocolate milk mustache, she thinks she is beautiful and the cutest thing in the whole wide world.

When she dances across the floor, she does it like a prima ballerina. When she sings, she does it with the confidence that she has a terrific voice. There is no doubt, no hesitancy on her part. She loves herself. She is strong. She is talented. She can do anything.

Unfortunately, I can't help but dread the day when she will lose some of that. Hasn't it happened to all of us at some point? Someone or something came along and started to wear away at that amazing creature we knew were. We started to doubt how amazing we were. We stopped dancing because we were unsure of what we looked like. We stopped singing because our voice isn't really that good. We stopped looking into the mirror and loving the image that reflected back to us. We started to feel not smart enough, pretty enough, not thin enough. We started to only see the flaws, where we didn't measure up to some ideal that someone else presented to us.

And why in the hell would we do that?

Why would we let ourselves lose the fact that we are amazing? Why would we let someone take that away?

I think that's what really upset me when I came across the story of two recent clothing items, produced by and for major retailers. The shirts aimed at young girls, girls of my daughters age and older, that had blatantly sexist remarks. First, JC Penny came out with a girls' shirt that said "I'm Too Pretty for Homework." It was quickly followed by another shirt with the phrase "Allergic to Algebra" from Forever 21. Are you kidding me? How does something like this even get made? Explain to me how a buyer sees this stuff and thinks, yeah, this is just so cute because, you know, girls like to be pretty and hate numbers.

Both were eventually pulled from the stores after an outcry from parents. What I find troubling is that the retailers seemed oblivious to the message they were sending with these shirts. If you're pretty enough, you don't have to work hard. Things will come easy to you based on your looks. It's beauty over brains, because that's what society views as important and a measure of your true worth. You're too pretty to put in effort. That's for ugly girls. (If you're not pretty, well then you better be smart and be prepared to work hard.) What kind of message is that for young girls? I find it disheartening and shameful.

"Allergic to Algebra" just reinforces the stereotype that girls are bad at math, even though there is nothing that supports line of thinking. Girls should never feel that boys have an inborn advantage in math and science due to the fact they are males. The message is a harmful stereotype that can be incredibly detrimental to a child’s personal achievement.

We should not let a slogan on a cheap shirt demean our daughters.

It's time that we told those people they are full of it. It's time we take back what they took from us. It's time that we make sure our daughters never lose sight of the fact that they are and always will be amazing.

THE NEWISH ADVENTURE

Sometimes Your Whole World Is What's Shaken'...

DRL Proudly Introduces Our Newest Contributor:

Jessica Lemoine McGinnis Yee

Someday in February this year, a new adventure was started by me and my husband. Well, not exactly new but newish. See, I found out that at age 42 I was to be a Mom again. Wow what a kicker! I have two beautiful kids but the last time I was in the birthing mindset was 12 years ago. A much younger body and much younger mindset and blissfully ignorant enough to the adventure called parenthood. Now I’m in the prime of my life, in the “lets live it up the kids are grown enough that I can have some fun” mindset. Go to concerts, lectures or take a class and not have to pay half my paycheck to a babysitter. Now we are starting over?! I’m going to lectures and taking a class but it’s to remember how to give birth naturally. See I birthed twice, all natural, although not completely my choice. I was into give me that epidural like most women, what the heck did I know. I didn’t embrace the natural movement in my twenties; I still don’t embrace a lot of it. But I have made some small changes, like I recycle, buy organic and believe in local shopping even if it cost a bit more. Sustaining the small business owner if just for one more day and hopefully boosting my local economy.

SUNDAY TRIVIA - Inspired by Moms...

Did you know...

Highest Number of Children in Modern Times

The modern world record for giving birth is held by Leontina Albina from San Antonio, Chile. Leontina claims to be the mother of 64 children, of which only 55 of them are documented. She is listed in the 1999 Guinness World Records but dropped from later editions. 

During the third season of the Cosby Show, actress Phylicia Rashad was pregnant, and to cover it up, producers raised the counters on the kitchen set, and cut a hole in the Huxtables' bed, so that her stomach would appear level.

August is the most popular month in which to have a baby, with more than 360,000 births taking place that month in 2001.

Tuesday is the most popular day of the week in which to have a baby, with an average of more than 12,000 births taking place on Tuesdays during 2001.

In the Bible, Eve is credited with being the 'Mother of All the Living.'

In 2004, Marge Simpson was voted the UK's "Most Respected Mother" in a poll conducted by the Mothers' Union.   She beat Cherie Blair and Victoria Beckham. 

A female oyster over her lifetime may produce over 100 million young.

A mother giraffe often gives birth while standing, so the new born's first experience outside the womb is a 1.8-meter (6-foot) drop.

Rosa Parks was the mother of bus boycott in Montgomery, Alabama that launched the Civil Rights Movement.

Patridge Family matriarch Shirley Jones was actually David Cassidy's stepmother.   She married actor Jack Cassidy, when David was 6. 

The ancient Greeks celebrated Mother's Day in spring, like we do. They used to honor Rhea, "mother of the gods" with honey-cakes and fine drinks and flowers at dawn. Sounds like the beginnings of the Mother's Day tradition of breakfast in bed!

Hindu scripture credits the Great Mother, Kali Ma, with the invention of writing through alphabets, pictographs and beautiful sacred images.

June Cleaver was famous for doing housework in heels and pearls, but Barbara Billingsley, the actress who played her, later said that there were practical reasons for the wardrobe-the pearls hid shadows on her neck and the heels allowed her to remain taller than her rapidly growing TV sons.

George Washington once said, "My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her."

Native American Indian women have long been honored with the name, "Life of the Nation" for their gift of motherhood to the tribes.

Marion Cunningham of Happy Days was an archeology major in college.

Native American Indian women have long been honored with the name, "Life of the Nation" for their gift of motherhood to the tribes.

9.9 million The number of single mothers living with children younger than 18 in 2010, up from 3.4 million in 1970 .

Anna Jarvis of Philadelphia began the campaign that brought about the official observance of Mother's Day in the United states. Her mother died, and Anna wanted all mothers to be remembered. She asked that white carnations be the official mother's day symbol. In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson signed the orders that made Mother's Day a national holiday.  Just nine years later, Anna filed a lawsuit in an effort to stop the over- commercialization of Mother's Day. She lost her fight. Now, cards, letters, candy and dinners out mark Mother's Day for most families. Anna had hoped for a day of reflection and quiet prayer by families, thanking God for all that mothers had done.

Mother Earth is also known as "Terra Firma". That title is a Latin translation of some lines from one of the Greek poet, Homer's, greatest poems.

85.4 million Estimated number of mothers in the United States in 2008.

WHAT DO YOU WANT...???

Barbara Ward-Finneran

When you  know what you want and want it bad enough you find a way to make it happen.  You can't just follow or chase your dreams but, rather, you have to create them.  

Just because women desire to be wives and mothers does not mean the rest of what we dream should lie dormant and unfulfilled. These aspects of our lives does not overshadow that in addition to being wife and mother, we balance our personal lives with professional ones.  Sometimes out of pursuit of professional success, sometimes out of necessity, often a combination of both.  

We manage households, care for family and children, be the evening sex kitten, manage corporations, be an always available BFF, start and or manage small businesses, educate the world, care for the sick, I could go on and on --- the list is endless!  We carry more weight on our shoulders with each passing year to be successful at a laundry list of endless tasks, obligations and labors of love.