Let me begin by saying I’ve been luckier twice than most women are even once in their lifetime. I was widowed at 27 but am now happily remarried to Russ, the most wonderful man I could ask for. He’s an amazing husband, an outstanding father and the love of my life. But loving Russ with all my heart doesn’t diminish my feelings for the first love of my life, Joe! Russ understands that and it makes me love and respect him even more!
It’s almost May and with that month comes a flood of memories for me. For the past 25 years, Police Memorial Day has been a time to mourn the loss of Joe all over again. Even after all this time, the pain is just as deep and the loss feels just as fresh as if it were yesterday. If you knew Joe, you would understand. Joe was killed while directing traffic at the scene of a fire. It was just before dawn when the haze makes it hard to see. The driver of the truck that hit him was on his way to work with his wife and baby in the car, and apparently looking at the fire as he drove past. He never saw my husband until it was too late. It was later learned that the fire was a result of arson.
Joe was a big guy: 6’2 and built like a linebacker. He was handsome, strong and smart but most of all he was kind and loving. Everyone loved to be around him because of his sense of humor. The man loved to laugh and could make everyone laugh with him. He loved to listen to people’s stories, which is one of the qualities that made him such a great police officer. Joe was the type of cop you saw on TV. He was friendly, polite, helpful and fearless. He loved to let kids sit in the police car and try the siren and he never missed an opportunity to wave and smile at people. I didn’t fully appreciate just how loved he was by so many people until after he was killed.
One letter I received was from a lady whose son had been hanging with a bad crowd. Joe came upon them doing some mischief. Apparently, he sensed the boy didn’t quite belong with the crowd so he took him home in the police car and talked to him all the way. Whatever he said, the mom reported that after that night he never saw those boys again and started to focus on his education. He wound up going to Divinity School and becoming a minister. She credited it all to Joe, even though only he and her son know what it was Joe said that night.
At Joe’s funeral, a man came up to me and took my hand. “Your husband was a wonderful, caring and fair man and I have great respect for him.” I thanked the man and asked if he worked with Joe. “Sort of” he replied, “He arrested me.” I stood with my mouth open while he went and said a prayer at the casket. He wasn’t the only one who showed up at the funeral who had met Joe under unusual circumstances. Some came and told me he caught them speeding but it was close to Christmas and he didn’t want them to have to come up with money for a ticket when they had toys to buy, so he let them go with a warning. Others talked about how he stayed with them, helping and talking to them at the scene of an accident (He was also an EMT and a Fireman). He always knew how to calm people and get them to trust him, and he never betrayed that trust.
During his short two years on the police force, Joe received several awards and accommodations. He rescued a lady from a burning trailer, caught a robber red handed, disarmed a criminal during a house search and so many other acts of bravery. He loved being a police officer and was proud to serve.
So on Police Memorial Day, I will go to the cemetery once again. I’ll see the Melbourne Police Department insignia on his tombstone, the model of his police car I had made and encased in glass, and the words “Died in the line of duty” printed on the stone. I’ll remember that horrific morning when his Lieutenant came to my door and the terrible, hazy days that followed. But most of all, I’ll remember the man who was the funniest, kindest, bravest, most honorable man I’ve ever known. I’ll remember Joe.
Editor's Note: Police Memorial Day is May 15th. For events in your area read
Our heartfelt respect and prayers to all those often unsung HEROS who have died in the line of duty and to their families. May God Bless them all always!
