Monday, June 18, 2012
REVOKE MY LICENSE PLEASE!
Never thought I'd joke about that after last year's fiasco of having my license suspended do to a clerical error with the hyphen in my name. It was so NOT funny. But I'm not talking about my drivers license. I'd like to request that my "responsible adult" license be revoked?! PLEASE! For a few days, a day, a hour. In a way that is more effective then playing ostrich with your head in the sand. Or running away to an evening of GNO with adult beverages and or desserts. Or having a date night in a child free zone. Or spending a little time in some sort of fantasyland that you fancy. All effective in their own ways - but none of those good times make "it" go away! You get stolen moments of forgetting the world and it's realities. Fleeting occasions to escape what overwhelms you, but cannot be ignored. At least not for any real length of time with out things coming crashing down. As a responsible adult it is our job to prevent those crashes in all arenas of our life. At all costs. At times even at your own expense.
Yes, I am having one of those, "Make it Stop" evenings. It'll pass... it always does. I'm certain I'll be back to "Soul Food" and my "Miss Mary Sunshine" in no time at all...
However in the meantime, I'm going to say, ARGGGGGGG! And, additionally give myself permission to have a cup of something cold and creamy from the freezer and drown my sorrows with some Hershey's syrup. I call it "something" because I only keep the type of dairy desert in the house that doesn't constantly scream my name. Only the decadence of certain name brands get the respect being ice creams that are worth the calories. I will however compose enough control to not drive to Seven Eleven and purchase a pint to polish off in a single sitting. Yes, I know it won't fix a damned thing. I also know I'm having a moment and not an relapse of an emotional eating disaster. I can allow myself a moment. I can even allow myself a good cry if needed. I know it'll all be okay. If not tomorrow, then soon. As for tomorrow... I'll catch you then, after I go have my moment. Since my license can't be revoked, and reality will be there in the morning, I'll settle for a fleeting moment. After all, I'm positive, that they don't make "it" all go away - but they certainly give us time to regroup. Embrace whatever momentary escapes you can when you can! Whipped cream anyone???