HE SAID....

 

 

TONY WALKER

 

Happy New Years to all you lovely ladies who drive us men crazy!!

I know I've talked about this a few times but I need to bring it up again.

The other day a friend of my wife's emailed my wife. Here are a few examples of what this email said:

 

He said to me ... . ......... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said to him .. That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart 

 

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. .. I don't know; it has never happened.

 

He said to me....What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

I said to him. . .. A widow.

He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him .. . .. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed….Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

 

Am I reading into this way too much? As someone who is in comedy, am I just not enjoying the humor?

Ladies.... is it really this bad?

 

We were at our friend's house for New Year's when one of our friends told us he was just laid off. My wife's response was "Now you'll be living like Tony." I was floored. I'm busting my ass trying to make my comedy career take us to a place where we can live comfortably financially. 

 

I help with the kids, the laundry, the dishes, & even change the toilet paper roll!!!

I know there are some useless men out there but I also know plenty of useless women!

 

Be honest.... tell us what you think even if you have to be anonymous. 

Are most men really this bad?? I don't see it!!!

DREADING "THAT CALL"

DRL Is Proud to Introduce
M. Radeboldt

I smile and look up into his bright, beautiful eyes. “Goodnight honey, I love you.” I tell him, ”Have a good shift.”  A kiss and a quick hug and then he’s gone. “God please keep him safe and bring him back to me” I pray. And I pretend that I’m not petrified that tonight will be the night I get “that call”.

I love my husband. I’m proud that he’s a police officer. He cares about people and is willing to put his life on the line, put our life together on the line, every day or night when he puts on that uniform. His job is not an easy one. While he is trying to protect, to serve, to keep the peace, he faces more than bullets. He faces indifference, ignorance, prejudice, and disrespect. Instead of thanking him for his dedication and bravery, people complain when he enforces the very laws that keep them safe. If he fights with a suspect to defend himself or save another, it’s called police brutality. If he draws his gun because his life or that of an innocent bystander is in danger, it’s all over the papers and he must be suspended pending an investigation. No, his job is not easy, but neither is mine.

She Said...

Dawn Boyle

In response to Tony's He Said this morning I can't disagree with you more. There is a new commercial out right now about some kind of feminine wash, the commercial goes something like, wars are waged over it, men die for it, countries are born over it....all the while they are talking about the power of "V". I think there is a clear difference between men and women. I believe that we think from different sides of the brain. I think that although we all (at some point) want sex, we want it in different ways. Yes, we talk trash in the bathroom or sitting around a table full of women, but the difference is, you guys DON'T want to hear that from women you are attracted to or trying to court. Right?

I think that once there is a level of comfort we might let out a burp or two by accident, but I know that my husband will look at me like I am a farm animal and get completely turned off. Here is the clue for you guys....we feel the same way about you getting all mushy during a movie. The boys want ladies and the girls want strong men to protect them. This is because of what we are trained to think we want from such an early age.

So society has made sure we are completely different. Seriously ladies do you want super sensitive guy?


Related posts from today:
SHE SAID..... DEFINITELY DIFFERENT! 
HE SAID.... ARE WE DIFFERENT?

CABIN FEVER.....

Dawn Boyle

I am at the turning point of the summer. This is where I start wishing I had put the kids in camp. When I realize that I have not had a break from them - NOT ONE DAY- since June 26. We all feel it. Everyone is fighting, bickering, anytime they both are in the basement it seems like they are WWF wrestlers.

I have been stuck in the house all week with my tooth issue. Which also means the girls have as well. I am crawling the walls. I need to bust out. Thinking ladies night or maybe ladies weekend (ahhh...could you imagine). There is something to be said for "me" time.

I will never forget a friend who had a baby shortly after my first. She was going out three times a week at night with friends or her husband. Had a babysitter come in three times a week during the day as well for her "Mommy Time", she would say to me "a happy Mommy is a much better Mommy". I thought she was nuts. How could she leave her kid that often. Well, let me tell you how smart she was. That kid, now 11, is so well adjusted. Doesn't have any sleepover issues (both of mine do), the kid doesn't freak out when Mommy goes away for a night or two with the Daddy, so that relationship is also very good.

My house is run by the terrorists that live here. The ones I never wanted to be away from. The ones that got (still do) all of my attention every minute of the day. The ones who have the need to just walk in on me when I am in the bathroom without knocking and not even thinking twice about it.

It's not like I really want them back in school, yet. But would LOVE a little break. I wish that they woke up and said they wanted to have a sleepover at Grandmas. Absence makes the heart grow founder...in fact maybe Greg should go for that sleepover too! Can you imagine....the entire house to yourself overnight?

With my luck and they way I have been programmed, I would probably end up missing them too much and begging them to come home early. I am as dependent on them as they are on me in this crazy little nut house I call my own.

So with only a handful of weeks left til school starts, I will bite my tongue about needing a break (try to) and realize how wonderful this time really is. I look forward to the days when we can look back and laugh about how the two of them USED to beat the crap out of each other and when the end of the world was all because "she won't get out of my room". Until then...I ring the bell and tell them to get in their corners til the next round.

WHAT TYPE OF MAN SHOULD A WOMAN AVOID?

We’ve all been there, crazy about some guy who is absolutely wrong, wrong, wrong for us. Odds are he fits into one of these categories:

“The Narcissist”: Thinks he’s cool, gorgeous and you’re lucky to be with him. He’ll choose himself over you every time and wonder why you don’t agree.  This type of guy lowers your self-esteem, shakes your self-confidence and thinks that all your friends are mad about him so he flirts shamelessly, thoroughly embarrassing you. I dated a Narcissist and experienced all the above. Once you escape and the spell is broken you wonder how you could have been so blind and stupid to have fallen for such a jerk.

“The GQ Guy”: He’s overly concerned about his appearance, his clothing, the car he drives, and expects you to dress, act, and speak, so as not to reflect badly on him. He tends to criticize easily but can never admit a flaw in himself. He can make you believe you are too fat, too plain, too talkative, too unfashionable and too demanding. He is a specialized type of Narcissist.

“The Gusher”: He’s full of compliments, usually trite and insincere. He flatters and makes small talk to make you feel “special” and plays up the sensitivity bit. He lets you know he’s in touch with his “feminine side”.  This is the guy who borrows a friend’s puppy to attract chicks!  While he pretends to be interested in your feelings he’s really only interested in feeling you up!

The “Manly Man”: These men feel that women exist for two reasons. There are the women to marry and bear your children, pose for the family portrait and keep your household in order. The second is the playmate for sexual pleasure and release of tension for working so hard for wife and family. The wife should understand this need and look the other way; after all, boys will be boys! These are the Prince Charles, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and John Edwards of the world.

The “Pathetic Loser”: This is the guy who tries to win you through your sympathy. “I have no one.”; “I’m misunderstood and mistreated by women.” He makes you feel like you are the only one who can help him and make his life worthwhile. In reality, he will be a constant drain on your energy and time. His neediness with consume you, always trying to build him up and make him feel better about himself. The truth is, no one can make a person feel good about himself but himself!

I’m sure there are many other “types” to avoid, but these are some of the one’s I’ve encountered in my past. I hope some of you will feel free to add to this list as per your own experiences. Maybe we can help other women avoid the mistakes we’ve made in the past!

I know that a man could easily construct a list of types of women men should avoid as well.  I’m certainly open to seeing one myself!

How about it Tony?