Tony...Tony...Tony....if only I could clone you!
I have this conversation all the time with my friends who happen to "STAY HOME". It amazes me how much more you benefit from leaving the house to "WORK" for 8 hours instead of doing it out of the house.
If I had a dime for every single time I heard "but I get up at 4:00AM and go to work", I would NEVER have to work again! For some strange reason the caretaker gets the short end of the stick. My husband thinks that I lay around all day long getting my hair and nails done when the truth is I am usually up the same time he is, but my work day does not end the same time. I never get to leave work, in fact the only time I leave here is to go get MORE WORK! I am up way past his 8:30PM bedtime and do not get "UNION" breaks throughout the day.
The lame excuses crack me up. Hell would freeze over if I had the opportunity to actually beat him to the punch of getting alone time or the chance to blow off a family obligation and have him at the reigns.
I am seriously thinking about going away for a week, without a phone to be contacted on, without all my family and friends around to give him a hand and see exactly what would happen. I am sure the laundry would sit, the sink would be filled and the menu would consist of take out, no one would go to school and they would never get to after school activities.
NOW THAT'S MY KIND OF CHALLENGE, THE SEVEN DAY MAKE THEM DO SOMETHING CHALLENGE!
TONY I SALUTE YOU & THE OTHER MR. MOM'S WHO KNOW HOW MUCH HARDER IT IS TO STAY HOME!!! MUCH LOVE WALKER!
A stay at home Mommy's convention in Vegas might do the trick. Who's booking the accommodations? Oh and by the way some of us may only require a one way flight.
ReplyDeleteI bet if you promise the "7 Day Sex Challenge" you'll get farther with the "7 Day Make Them Do Something Challenge"! Men will be men....
ReplyDeleteFor the record... I'm in for VEGAS! However - what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas! ;)
When we going gals???????
I feel really bad for the Woman who have to do all that and have to go to fulltime jobs. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteStay at home mom's have it rough. Please.
ReplyDeleteYou girls never worked a day in your life.
Laundry, cook some pasta w-chicken, and take joey to baseball. Man what a brutal day!! I forgot, blog about stupid shit.
Wake up at 6am for work, arrive home at 7pm.
Thats work.
GREAT post! it's hard to be appreciated from the opposite side- seems like a battle that has been going on for years, decades, etc.
ReplyDeleteNot that I would think a man has it any easier- but sometimes the brunt of the heavy do tend to land on their shoulders. ya know? In society they are expected to rule the roost - but securing enough money to tend after the family that create.
Moms - yeah... you are the assistant manager of the house.
Now reality... we run the house...
At this point I would love to stay at home and enjoy the kids this young. then I remember my 2 month maternity leave and think I love being at work part time.
Again Hard balance~ made easier with a good kick in the shin to the partner who is clearly not seeing the value in the other!
Boris....I wake up every day between 4-5am and make my bed and clean my room. I pick up my husbands dirty clothes and put all his shoes in the bottom of his closet. I then go down to empty dish washer and reload with whatever was left out for me around the house. I remove clothes from dryer and put wet clothes in. I then fold the dry clothes. I proceed to go back up to put clothes away. I wake up my two kids and make their beds and clean their rooms. I cook two breakfasts. I then am a hair dresser and fashion coordinator for them both. I make sure they brush their teeth properly and then floss. I prepare snacks and lunch. I make sure all books necessary for school are in their backpacks. I walk them out and wait for their bus to pick them up.
ReplyDeleteAfter they leave, I am back inside continuing laundry and cleaning up after breakfast. I load dishwasher and run it. The dryer is done again. I must then fold all that laundry and put it away.
Take something out for diner. Sweep floor (ALL THREE LEVELS), wipe down both bathrooms.
Unload dishwasher and grab something quick for lunch. Travel from Massapequa to Garden City to get my work for the night. Stop at store for (enter random what someone else needs here). White knuckle the way home to make sure I am there in time for bus.
Wait for bus. Get kids inside. Make a snack for each kid. Check on laundry. Start homework. Start dinner. Set table and start the afternoon of running which kid where for after school activities. Get home, serve everyone dinner. Get kids in shower, dry two girls hair. Clean up after dinner. Load dish washer again. Collect everyone dirty clothes. Put clothes in pile on floor cause that load is still not done. Sit down at my computer where I will type up homeowner claims til about midnight, the entire time I am working I will continue with laundry. Get to bed around 1:00. ONLY TO WAKE UP 4 HOURS LATER TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN!
Boris...I don't get sick days, holidays or vacation time. I don't even get paid. STILL WANNA COMPARE??? DOUBT IT! Until you have walked a day in a STAY AT HOME'S SHOES YOU MIGHT WANT TO ZIP IT!
Okay...so here's my take on this one. Being a divorced mom - working 40 hours a week - not being able to rely on the "ex" 100% - I feel for both sides. When I haven't had a vacation from work I dream of being able to stay home, get my son on the bus, clean the house, food shop, yadda yadda yadda...after a few days of this...I'm done. If one child can do that much damage I can't imagine more and staying home 24/7. Plus, the every other weekend thing is a true blessing...date nights :)
ReplyDeleteso...I salute you all..the stay at home moms (especially those that have their hair and nails done) and the home/work moms too. I myself wake at 4:45, shower, make lunch for me and my boy..fold whatevers in dryer so they don't wrinkle..wash what's in the sink..get ready for work..put together a backpack..leave at 6:15am for an hour drive to work...deliver mail and walk for 5 hours/5 miles a day...drive home 1:10..cook for son..work out..clean again..get kid clean - get kids teeth brushed - get kid to bed - oops forgot homework - read with kid - shower - read the blog :) - go to bed....dream of doing it all over. We do it though...Kudos to the stay at home moms and dads...kids are a tough crowd and they can break us. fast.
A SINGLE PARENT TRUMPS MY ISSUES 100%
ReplyDeleteI have been a stay-at-home mom and am now a working mom, who also goes to graduate school. I have no "help" and I do all the cooking, cleaning and running around that everyone else does. I do complain once in a while, I'm human, but nothing gives me greater pleasure than my children. Raising a family is a huge job, in and of itself, and adding work into the mix (whether it be outside the home or writing a fabulous blog ;) from inside the home) is extremely challenging and should be commended and supported. People who have nothing nice to write are certainly entitled to their opinion but you may want to pull that giant stick out of your ass before you sit down behind the computer screen to avoid serious injury.
ReplyDeleteSign me up for the Vegas trip.. xoxo
Work outside the home and run a freelance design business & blog from home. I am the sole bread winner and I am still the MOMMY. Still responsible for all that Mommy & Wife entails -EVERYDAY!!! I could write all I do, suffice to say - it's the "his" and "hers" from most marriages, rolled into one! In some ways it can additionally feel like the "single mom thing" as my husband is disabled. My BFF put it best once a long time ago with very clear perspective, "You have the worst of both worlds"! And, like most, most days I don't complain - everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes. Good o have a posse of friend to vent with.
ReplyDeleteTHANKFULLY - the BLESSINGS far outweigh the "worsts"... I just wish they took away the sleep deprivation!
When's VEGAS??? I'm thinking we need a suite of rooms! :)
WHATEVER you give a WOMAN, she will MAKE it GREATER. Give her SPERM, she will give you a BABY. Give her a HOUSE, she will give you a HOME. Give her GROCERIES, she will give you a MEAL. Give her LOVE and she will give you her HEART! She MULTIPLIES and ENLARGES what she is GIVEN. So, if you GIVE her CRAP, be PREPARED to RECEIVE a TON OF SHIT!
ReplyDeleteI find that most people who criticize others like Boris has don't know what they're talking about.
ReplyDeleteDawn you didn't mention all the last minute stuff that comes up... something school related for example. I can't tell you how many times I scheduled a "day off" for myself but ended up busier than most days.
You don't have to explain yourself to Boris or anyone else. You're a great mom!
By the way... can I come to Vegas & have all you super ladies to myself???
Sounds like bad parenting to me. My kids are taught to keep their rooms clean. They also put their dishes away after dinner every single night. Dirty clothes all over the house? Not mine! Pick up husband's clothes??? Does he have a thing for shoes? You put "all his shoes in the bottom of the closet." I'm sure that's half the morning right there! My kids get dressed on their own, pack their book bags and know the how to brush their teeth... "properly." They also do their homework - themselves.
ReplyDeleteMy house is clean and doesn't need to be swept everyday. Bathroom too. Amazing how much time you'd save with some discipline and organization.
Sounds like you need "Parenting for Dummies" - 2nd edition.
Nik & Tony you are on the Vegas List...
ReplyDeleteAlex - that just made me throw up a little in my mouth that you don't do your floors daily and you don't at least wipe down your bathroom...please, spend the day with my children - there actions speak for themselves in the behavior department.
My kids have responsibilities, but as the mother and/or caretaker it is my responsibility that my 7 and 10 year old are prepared for school and that their teeth are taken care of...speaking of teeth - would you like the number to my dentist?
All I can say is WOW, to both sides. Sounds like there are a lot of unhappy, frustrated people out there. Is the answer to stay single and just worry about yourself? Im married and pregnant with my first. Will probably work part time at night and be a stay at home Mom during the day. Im now terrified!
ReplyDeleteAlex McCord my ass! Boris, Alex, whatever the hell your name is, you seem to have way too much free time on your hands. Get a job or get Joey to school. All the stay at home parent wants is a little recognition and a little "me" time. They have the toughest job on the planet. These ladies are the REAL housewives!!
ReplyDeleteAgain, bad parenting. If you have to clean your floors everyday, then you don't clean well or your kids are slobs. Im thinking a combo there! And if a 7 and a 10 year old cant brush their teeth at their ages- you've got bigger issues there. Maybe some discipline. I assume they're also trashing your floors all day. What could they be doing? Hmm. Husband's clothes all of house, his shoes are... EVERYWHERE. Where did he hide those Manolo Blahniks!!? Sounds like an out of control mess. Did you do you daughter's homework for them last night? Good job! That's a fantastic way of preparing your children for the future. No doctors in that house. Oh, that reminds me - Do you need that book title again?
ReplyDeleteAlex your kids are animals.
ReplyDelete"Alex" you speak like someone who knows a lot about parenting... that actually either doesn't have kids OR is not involved with what your wife is dealing with...SOUNDS TO ME LIKE SOMEONE HAS MOMMY ISSUES?!?!?!?
ReplyDeleteYou're a grandiose exaggerator. Starting with beginning your day at 4AM to sweeping 3 levels of the house to THE SHOES... where are all his shoes!! And your stressful, demanding job. Please, give us all a break from the BS. Go see your psychiatrist and get on the meds again. Everything you say is one big lie. And you know what... you know it! Buh-bye.
ReplyDeleteSeems you are dishing much BS. If that is what you believe, why keep reading. There's this little tab at the top that says next blog...
ReplyDeleteEveryone wants the good they do to be recognized - especially by their partner. Matters not how the rest of the world sees it.
As I wait for news on a child whose life hangs in the balance - because their peers couldn't speak with kindness, or simply be quiet - heart aching, with the senselessness. And wondering how or why? Silly me - I forget they learn and act adults often do...
Most often kids and teens act out and are cruel because of their own hurts or abuse... as do adults, shameless none the less!!!
Sign me up for the convention . I'll bring the chocolates..lol
ReplyDeleteNow matter whose point of view is taken here some people seem to be bashing a wee bit too much . Life is just stressful and if its not then you not living life. Then may I ask what the heck are you doing?
I have yet to met a so call "Stay at Home Mom "who has an easy life because lets get it clear the stay-at-home term is a fantasy and most Moms I know (myself included) are running here there and everywhere 24/7 for the sake of our children and the home. So those of you who work from outside of the home enjoy your normal routines because when your at home every day is never the same thing 24/7.
Sign me up for Team Dawn and Vegas! I don't understand why many of the comments to your posts turn into personal attacks. You ask about high taxes and get schooled in ways to save money. You talk about how hard women work and get criticized on how you raise your children and run your household. WTF? Seems to me that they lack any real argument or valid points to raise and just go for the personal attack. Desperate measures.
ReplyDeleteThere's no need to defend yourself, don't stoop to their level. Let them tired themselves out with their tantrums. You are above it all. And know that your voice is heard and that it annoys the hell out of some petty people.
Struck a nerve I see with the mommy issue...no need to defend myself to someone who hides behind a fake name! Jealous much? Move on! We don't care if u like me or my blog.
ReplyDeleteAlex I think the grandiose exaggerator may be you. Maybe you should hit the meds. You are not Alex McCord now are you? So who is the liar here. Just sayin"
ReplyDeleteI feel bottom line is both sides (caregiver and bread winner) want recognition and not be made to feel useless!!
ReplyDelete@ Jillian.....can the 7 day challenge be done in Vegas?? lol!!
@ Dawn......how many clicks was this?? Ch-ching Kudos to the haters!!!!!
Dawn attack mode or not - why would you let yourself get suckered into defending yourself like that? It comes off bad. Every mother on the planet is on your side. No defence needed.
ReplyDeleteYesterday I was at Target and watched this two year old say "Mom?Mommy?" every five minutes to his mother as she pushed the cart. The mother patiently asked "What honey?" and he spoke. This went on for a half an hour. I could barely handle watching it, and went down other isles to avoid them. Same thing when I saw them on the check out line and again in the parking lot. "Mommy, mom" "What honey?"
I shook my head as I watched her kiss him and gently place him in the car and then she said "Mommy loves you."
The patience! Unbelievable! That's tougher than most people know.
Now, as for you, never list all that you do to some idiot who just doesn't get it.
Real Mom is CORRECT! I need not defend myself to some idiot who obviously has a strong dislike for me and feels like are getting a rise out of me...I love the banter!!!
ReplyDeleteI've run the gammit,working mom, widow with a baby, married with kids,and now stay at home. All I can say is, there's m=no harder job than being a mom of kids at any age! There's also no greater joy! I tend to think Alex is a single guy without children who knows nothing about life in the real world but can be whoever he wants on the computer. (Kinda like Brad Paisley's song "Online" http://www.songarea.com/mc/32/brad_paisley.html
ReplyDeleteCurious...what about the mom that works all day and comes home and does the exact same thing as a stay at home mom? I get 2 kids up and dressed before I leave for work. I come home and cook dinner, do laundry, make dinner, help with homework, baths, etc....
ReplyDeleteStay at home moms at are home WITH kids all day I sympathize with. Moms that are home with kids at school all day is entirely different!!
I think we have come to the conclusion that the grass is always greener on the other side...what sucks for me - might be paradise for you.
ReplyDeleteEveryone thinks their situation is the worst...no one should bash anyone else until they have walked in their shoes.
If you head out here to Vegas, let me know..wouldn't want to interrupt your "girls get-a-way" but would love to catch up. Plus I can help you with any questions you might have regarding what to do and where to go to do it..lol
ReplyDeleteThanks Rob Z! As soon as our "meeting" date is secured I will let you know!
ReplyDelete