Friday, October 14, 2011


“The greatest boundaries that we face in our lives are very often the ones 
we ourselves create in our minds."  —  Ellyn Spragins
Can right and wrong get mixed up?  Is there a time and place to blur the lines? Cross the line? Is life always as simple as black and white --- when you see endless shades of gray?

Is there a dream or a fantasy that you hide in your heart, that if opportunity presented itself you would act on it? Doesn't everyone have one or more of those tucked away somewhere?  (Are you fooling yourself if you are shaking your head no as you read this post.)  That secret - never shared, like some taboo topic that is avoided at all costs.  An honesty perhaps not even obvious or admitted to yourself. 

Honesty, integrity and self esteem weigh heavily on the success of many relationships.  But, relationships change.  People change. Passion fades.  Distance grows.  Sex can be an action without an emotional reaction. Lovers can become more like housemates.  Life is not static.  Yet so often the most important relationship in your life is.  It stops growing.  You stop dreaming. Would acting on a fantasy help or harbor the union? Does a happier "you", make for a better "we"? Do the rules change if there is an act of promiscuous nature involved? If it stays in your head and heart is it okay, is there no harm done? A one night stand can be written off and forgiven whereas something with a history or connection means game over. Is an emotional attachment a means to justify or make matters worse? What if no one ever knew? Acting on a fantasy could feed and fuel your libido, whereas the opposite may forever starve your soul.  Can carnal desires or something unfinished ever completely be snuffed out? Is sex ever really just sex? 

Hunger does weird things to you.  It can make you taste things you might never before have considered let cross your palette.  Can you be "happy" in a relationship and still be distracted by your own hunger? It takes two to make a relationship work. Yet it's still possible for one partner or circumstance to screw it up beyond repair.  What if you are already there?  Yet, Because there is value and love, despite the unremitting hunger, you make it work because it's the "right" thing to do.  Beget the best of the better times, being usually "happy", and silently mourn what's missing.  

Pain fades.  Hurt is forever.  Hunger hurts.... 
Can feeding that hunger make things better?  

If you were given time and a place... a moment that just is - just right there - then, in that moment... 
Would you battle your mind to free your soul? 
Would you feed your hunger? 
Would you act on that fantasy?????

1 comment:

  1. Nice post Jillian.
    While I agree that thinking out of the box is the way to go to keep a marriage fresh, I would personally be worried about emotional attachments.
    I'd be wondering why there is such a strong emotional attachment.... why did she marry me if she has such a strong attachment to someone else? Does she want that person more than me?
    On the other hand I think of when Tina asked "What's Love Got To Do With it?"
    My opinion is to do something mindless together whether it's sex or something else. As long as you're together & having fun.