I was in the middle of writing a post about how much I love Twitter when I received a phone call from my husband that he was in the hospital – injured fighting a fire as a FDNY LT. The experience was scarier than the actual injury and he’ll be okay but…
That phone call put my life in perspective.
Let’s back the truck up to 18 hours before. Ya there?
Yesterday at work I was called into the general manager’s office and the gauntlet fell on my head, well almost on my head, it took out a few hairs and an ear. I was told that I’d need to cut my salary by 20% or I’d lose my job. I’m not curing cancer, the job causes a lot of stress in my life, and a monkey can do it, or anyone with a brain, disposal thumbs is optional. Nevertheless, I still need it.
I was really upset because I work for a luxury firm. The firm I was told is cutting back on expenses, ok I get it – the choke hold on the economy hasn’t let up in the last two years. Mom and Pop stores have closed their doors; heck Fortune 500 firms merged, been acquired and closed their doors. I get it. But what I don’t get is that this firm is spending thousands of dollars hosting events, renting yachts that just sit at these affairs to give them a “certain look and feel”. Money spent on Tiffany necklaces, rented Bentley’s bestowed on certain high wealth clients so it appears that the firm has the means to work with them. This is just the tip of the iceberg, there are extravagant expenses floating around like little fairies throughout my office – enormous vases filled with fresh flowers delivered weekly, and chandeliers that should be hanging in the Taj to name a few.
Needless to say, the fact that I have to cut my salary to keep my job is upsetting.
It’s disrespectful, it’s greed, it’s obnoxious, and it’s excess nonsense that means nothing in life, except putting on a show to try to impress yourself, your neighbors and potential clients.
Nevertheless I was pissed off last night.
But this morning, it changed.
My life could have been wiped out in an instant. One instant. One tour of duty, if he fell a certain way, he could of been gone.
My love, my heart, my soul was sitting in a hospital being cared for, while my employer was flying to his second home to open another office that somehow he can afford, but not my salary.
I’m intelligent enough to realize that I should be happy that I may still keep my job. I get that I should be thrilled by that fact but it doesn’t mean a damn thing when my life could have been taken away in an instant.
No amount of money, no amount of “things”, no amount of homes, or even a job can replace my heart, soul and love.
Am I still worried that I may lose my job? Yes, indeed. Am I still pissed off? No. Do I care? Not really, it’s really not that important I’ll bounce back.
Life is too damn short, it's hard to do but we must live in the present, live for today because tomorrow may never come, but more importantly what matters most, what matters now is that my love is safe, home and alive.
Find more from Deanna: www.theunnaturalmother.com