Deanna Verbouwens
Oh…my friends!! I love them to death, I have a handful of best friends that I rely on – maybe way too much but rely on them I do. I can count my closest friends on two hands, I tell some more than others, some know everything about me…maybe more than I know about me. I value, love, and hold my friends in the highest regards. I’ve disappointed some, I’ve divorced a few, and some are still hanging around. I will say my piece with respect and honor their wishes, I will support them and never judge, sometimes - in my humblest of opinions I will let them know that I think they are wrong. I will keep secrets that I may not want to keep, I will let them vent, cry and make them laugh even if it means I have to moon them (yeah, picture mooning your friends with a piece of toilet paper stuck in your ass!). They are my friends. They make me pee my pants with laughter, they lend a shoulder when it’s needed, they call, and come running without being asked – they just know what to do – because they are my friends.
I’m not sure where I learned to be a friend - they say you mimic your parents/guardians behavior but that wasn’t the case for me. You hear that some woman crawled under the tables of the weekly bridge games listening to their mother and her friends talking about the neighbors, teachers or husbands, or perhaps they remember them sitting poolside drinking a cocktail while all the kids horsed around in the pool, or maybe even remember the monthly pot-luck dinners. That didn’t happen with my mom, I feel I barely knew my mom’s friends. My mother did have a strong circle of friends however; I rarely got to see my mom in action with them, my parents moved to Long Island and most of my mom’s friends stayed in the City (Brooklyn or Queens). I did witness my mom befriend the neighborhood moms and she is still very close with one, however, my mom had five children and rarely made the time for herself, that coupled with my dad being sick ...well, you get the picture. I love that my mom now makes the effort to attend a weekly card game with the gals from her old job, when she gets the chance - she still see’s her girls from back-in-the-day and even goes to lunch with the one neighborhood mom almost every month.
I am not sure if friendships weren’t that important to my mom or if she just put them on hold until she had the time to make for herself and her friends. Whatever the reason, I implore all woman to make friends whether you make one at work, through your kids or it’s one from kindergarten – if you have the connection – nurture that friendship. Every girl needs one friend she can rely on. I’m nothing without my friends – they are my rock, my comfort and my life-line – I am lucky I have many.
I’m not sure where I learned to be a friend - they say you mimic your parents/guardians behavior but that wasn’t the case for me. You hear that some woman crawled under the tables of the weekly bridge games listening to their mother and her friends talking about the neighbors, teachers or husbands, or perhaps they remember them sitting poolside drinking a cocktail while all the kids horsed around in the pool, or maybe even remember the monthly pot-luck dinners. That didn’t happen with my mom, I feel I barely knew my mom’s friends. My mother did have a strong circle of friends however; I rarely got to see my mom in action with them, my parents moved to Long Island and most of my mom’s friends stayed in the City (Brooklyn or Queens). I did witness my mom befriend the neighborhood moms and she is still very close with one, however, my mom had five children and rarely made the time for herself, that coupled with my dad being sick ...well, you get the picture. I love that my mom now makes the effort to attend a weekly card game with the gals from her old job, when she gets the chance - she still see’s her girls from back-in-the-day and even goes to lunch with the one neighborhood mom almost every month.
I am not sure if friendships weren’t that important to my mom or if she just put them on hold until she had the time to make for herself and her friends. Whatever the reason, I implore all woman to make friends whether you make one at work, through your kids or it’s one from kindergarten – if you have the connection – nurture that friendship. Every girl needs one friend she can rely on. I’m nothing without my friends – they are my rock, my comfort and my life-line – I am lucky I have many.
Find more from Deanna: www.theunnaturalmother.com
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