Tony Walker
Women say the don't understand men. They think we're inconsiderate, shallow and impossible to figure out. Finally, here is a woman's guide to men and how to deal with the man you love.
When he pulls away, give him sex.
When you see him start crying, give him sex & don't say a word.
When you see him walking, sneak up & be naked when doing it.
When he's scared, give him sex.
When he steals your favorite hoodie, find another woman for him to have sex with.
When he says he loves you, give him sex.
When he grabs at your hand, grab at his penis.
If he tells you a secret, it will most likely be something sexual. So give him sex.
When he looks into your eyes, grab his ass.
When he's angry, stroke him. Don't stop until he's calm.
When he says he’s Ok or that nothing’s wrong, don’t believe it. Just give him sex. Whatever is wrong is now forgotten.
Call him at 12am on his birthday to have phone sex.
Treat him like he’s all that matters to you. Give him sex in all rooms in the house.
Make a movie with him, even if you think it’s stupid, and get in every sexual position you possibly can. This will make a great movie.
Talk about other girls around you, and ALWAYS tell him how “hot” a girl passing by is. Consider asking that girl to come home with you two.
Kiss her in the pouring rain. Kiss her in a falling snow. Kiss her in the middle of a crowd. I will give him sex right now said Sam I Am.
When he runs to you crying, ask him "Wanna go to a strip club?"
Even if you’ve been together for 25 years, scoot next to him in the car or on the couch & proceed with the oral sex.
Gently play with his (insert any body part here).
When he’s sick, with a sore red nose, his hair is a tangled mess and he’s in flannel pj’s and fuzzy slippers, tell him to take it all off... the "nurse" is in the house to make him feel all better.
Don’t let a day go by without letting him know you love him. Why? Because you're horny for him.
Men are the most simplest of all God’s creatures. No matter how confident, beautiful, talented and intelligent one may be, he just wants sex. If he denies this, he’s lying!
Notice that EVERYTHING on this list is really this simple. Just think how happier men would be if you ladies gave them sex at least once a day. You'll get so much accomplished!!! So get naked ladies right away!!!
Tony you are hysterical........except for the part about inviting the hot girl walking by to go home with you, I think you are right......I really think men feel loved through sex......which is fine with me......just listen to my non stop talking afterward and I am good to go :)
ReplyDeleteTony, I think between us we pretty well have summed up the difference between men and women! Love your post!
ReplyDeleteYou had me at "hello"........ LMAO!
ReplyDeleteDoris I will gladly listen to you before AND after. It will be well worth it.
ReplyDeleteThank you Marion & Jillian!!!!
I think I NEED a wife, too!!
ReplyDelete