HELL TO PAY

Barbara Ward-Finneran

Wicked... Can be defined so many ways; good, bad and cool.

There are times that the use of the word and it's meanings  may overlap or just not quite say enough - yet it is a word commonly used.  Used here at DRL regularly on Wednesdays.

It's wicked when someone you cared about disappoints you. It matters not the length of the relationship.  If you bothered to invest friendship loyalty and love -  business and pleasure - accepted the good and bad, it stings like salt on an emotional wound when that  friendship ends.  In retrospect it usually comes to light that it was destined not to go places, had ugly or selfish moments and or unhealthy aspects.  (Perhaps you were even warned not to get involved by others who had been burned.) I'm a big believer that there are three sides to every story.  Each of the two the main players involved have a side, let's say, his & hers... so to get three sides, you have "his", "hers" and "what really happened".  Perhaps therein lies where bitterness and resentment are born.  Where the sides and stories to the ending don't line up. When someone feels dishonored or betrayed, they can strike out in cold and cruel ways with no regards to, or understanding of, or even an acknowledgment of  - "the other sides of the story", as they are so wrapped up in that pain or dysfunction of the "ending".  Even sadder, is if it is because simply their inability to have "good relationships" clouds everything - ruins all  - even with those that give of themselves with the potential to create and teach healthy ones. 

For some the answer to their own pain is to strike out and attempt to cause similar infliction on those who "wronged" them.  Manifesting as hurtful words or actions.  A beast that is more angered and fed by interaction.  My thought, it is better to starve it to death then to feed it's hunger for more.  Silence speaks volumes.  Even more so when resulting from not dignifying actions with reactions. 

When you choose to be a person who values their friends and relationships, (admittedly, at times, practically to a fault).  It's all too simple to question,  could I have repaired this before it had crumbled.  Truth is some things need to be broken.  It saves you from more disappointment and or pain.  (Even truer, some things are damaged long before you even started involving yourself with them.)  You grow. You change.  You move on.  Not necessarily in that order.  You simply live and let live.  Agree to disagree.  Remember the good fondly and let go of the rest.  That's life as an adult in a world full of humans.  If only we were all divine enough to act and do better always.  Then perhaps this would be heaven not earth. Until then, ignore those who think there is "HELL" to pay - the fact of the matter is - they are in their own self created HELL that is far worse then anything you could conjure up.  Ignore negativity.  It only breeds more of the same.  That is one thing I know for sure.  I'm positive about it!