FINDING MY WAY BACK TO LIFE....and the LOUNGE

Jenn Copp

I have to start off by saying I miss the Lounge. I have been gone way to long. Sometimes your life takes a turn and the stories you go through you don't feel are worth listening to or sharing. I think "I" don't even want to read it. But in the end, through all my struggles I have learned that I help people. So I am back. 

I have to say dating in my forties is probably my hardest struggle. Here we are at this stage of the game and you want things perfect. You think I have been through so much and I don't want to settle, so, your bucket list is pretty high for the match you are looking to make. Everyone keeps telling me ..You are the strongest person I know.  You chose not to settle for your husband because you wanted better for yourself. Keep plugging away Jenn. Well on that note I feel like I try. 

Putting yourself out there again and again is not easy. The awkward first meet alone is worthy enough to make me stay home. I am truly a hopeful romantic and in this day and age I question is; Is that even realistic?  Will I ever meet that guy that just gets me at Hello. The moment we lock eyes I would never want to leave their side and vice versa. I have to say I know I want that and more. It is not even an item on my bucket list. It is more ... I want that person that is my best friend. They will laugh with me, cry with me and everything in between. 

I know so many people either in bad relationships or marriages. I feel sad for them. At the end of the day it is just someone who gave up trying. It is like when you start dating and everything is perfect.  But then you realize four months down the road that things have already changed. The phone call to check that you got home doesn't happen anymore.  Why? Why not always try... Why not always put your best foot forward.. I find life itself to be very boring. My friends love having me around because I think outside the box to make them laugh. I am very spontaneous and as soon as I am bored, I am off. I am always looking for a laugh. I know my cancer has changed me for sure. I have that life is short mentality. I think....you don't want to see me til next week. We could be dead by then! LOL. 

For today I will thank my cancer for waking me up. For enjoying my life to the fullest. For not settling. For loving my kids like mad. And, for finding MYSELF again. I will thank it everyday for making me as strong as possible. For motivating me to get out of bed and for appreciating even the simplest things in life!!!! 

I am still on my journey and great things keep coming my way...I sometimes have to sit back and question did that really happen? It's ALL good and what ever comes my way, I say BRING IT!