Thursday, May 31, 2012


Barbara Ward-Finneran
Today I was "done" with something and yet it has never felt so unfinished.  Mostly because instead of ending with a period it is ending with a question mark.  

It got me thinking.  Does a title define you?  Daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, artist, designer, teacher, writer, professor.  Insert your own list here.  Is this what defines you or is it what others think of you?  Perhaps it is what you think of yourself.  Is it how you live and what you give? Maybe it's a combination of all of the above with a dash of alter ego mixed in.  Is there actually a plausible answer?  As if being "yourself" is a defined and fixed thing.  If a person is constantly growing, changing and evolving conceivably they cannot be characterized as one "thing".  Conceivably there is never really a period but always more questions.  

Don't feelings play into it?  Do they define you?
--- At times being so clear, lucid and filled with optimism and invincibility.  That feeling that nothing can hold you down or be out of reach.  Those moments when you know you can accomplish anything if you just put your mind to it and work for it.  
--- At other times cloudy, confused and overwhelmed.  The stress of the world and life rendering one ineffective to overcome.  Waning here can rob you of your exquisite inner power.  The one that commands you to rise above the human existence and remember that YOU have the ability at anytime to redefine yourself - mind, spirit and soul.  

When pondering, "who am I"... it's often because one is struggling with change.  A correlation between the inner questions and the ease or lack there of in the life you are experiencing at this moment.  Our identity is not static.  It is ongoing.  A constantly changing process.  Is asking this question a sign of vulnerability or strength? Or is it just a process of human nature that cannot be evaded at times.  Does the question come from a sense of fear or from the anticipation of adventure and challenge?  Is this midlife identity question a blessing in disguise.  A continuum between where you are right now and the journey that lies ahead.  A reminder to take each step with a sense of purpose as you summon the strength to face challenges head on and fight.  Fight for yourself and fight to create your dreams.  To continue the personal evolution that allows you to keep the promises that you make to yourself and redefine your vision along the way.  

If with age and or experience comes wisdom...
Then mine to share from the last few weeks is to embrace the fact that sometimes we are stronger when we bend.  Stronger when we allow ourselves to be malleable.  To mold and recreate your vision and plans.  Flexibility affords you the luxury to not break.  The willow survives the storm as it bends with the winds of change whereas the sturdy and rigid oak is more likely to crack.  (None of us want to "crack"!) Find your balance and embrace the change.  Life happens, like it or not.  Breathe.  Pray.  Believe.  Change and faith are the only constants.  

Recognize your never ending potential.  Keep what serves you well and brings you joy and "shed" the rest.  Value this moment.  It's all you really ever have.  Everything can change in an instant.  The future is unwritten --- but all we are ever "promised" is today. So who you are needs only to be your best self.  Remembering that you are enough.  You do not need to be defined or titled. YOU ARE ENOUGH.  

Move forward. Love yourself. Love life.  Keep the faith. Be brave.  

Keep the promises that you make to yourself.  The rest will follow and you will know - who you are... your best self.  You are enough.  


  1. Nice to "see" you back at the Lounge, Barbara. Your voice has been missed.

  2. Be exactly who you need to be, especially to yourself!

  3. It's great to be writing more again - thanks for your kind words!