SEX VS. INTIMACY

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

In our society there is so much emphasis placed on the actual act of sexual intercourse. Movies, commercials, magazines, TV, everywhere you turn, it always begins and ends with sex. Don’t get me wrong, I think sex is wonderful, but it’s not the be all and end all in a relationship.

Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still. -Robert Sternberg

To me, the most important element of a long term, successful relationship between people is intimacy. Intimacy is really a deep knowing and understanding of another person. It’s being comfortable and feeling safe with that person. It isn’t just confined to marriages or other relationships which involve sex. It is much deeper and broader than sex.

I'm certain that most couples expect to find intimacy in marriage, but it somehow eludes them. - James Dobson

Intimacy is not easy. As a matter of fact it’s hard work. It also involves taking risks. With intimacy we give our hearts and bear our souls to another, giving them the power to hurt us. But the rewards are great. To be truly known, loved, accepted, and valued by another living being is the most gratifying feeling in the world.

There are many ways to share intimacy in a relationship.

1.Human Contact; holding hands, snuggling, sitting side by side, “softing” one’s hair or gently rubbing one’s back. We do this with our children, our spouse, other loved ones.

2. Sharing: conversation, feelings, frustrations, joys, funny stories, as well as dessert, memories and activities. Didn’t your mom always give the bigger piece of pie to you?

3. Giving: kindness, patience, trust, encouragement and love; Showing sensitivity to the moods, experiences and feelings of another.

There are hundreds of ways we share intimacy with people we care about. In any relationship it’s a vital element, but I believe it’s even more so in a marriage. Many couples have sex without intimacy and miss out on the most amazing experience of a lifetime! Many couples have intimacy without sex (whether it’s because of health, hormones, or other reasons) and are happy, content and satisfied. Of course, the ideal is to be able to have both, but if I had to choose just one, intimacy would win hands down!
When I attained a certain advanced intimacy with a man, and I don't just mean sex, I married him. -Hedy Lamarr

SHE SAID... Jillian B. Hart

COME ON NOW.....
Jillian B. Hart

HMMM, where shall I begin?!  First off, thanks for the plug in your HE SAID, Tony.  I think.
Nah, definitely a compliment of sorts, especially considering the source.  Perhaps even high praise... LOL!

Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, what are you thinking?!  Even if you are wondering, "What Head Are You Thinking With?!", as you stated in your SHE SAID, you need not to let on!  Give a guy some dignity!

HANDCUFFS ANYONE?

Jillian B. Hart

Walking the NC-17 line at DRL this afternoon.  And, they say my post are steamy!  Walker & "party girl" Boyle must have caused a little condensation on computer monitors around the world today with their viewpoints on "He Said, She Said".


Without tipping my toe in the hot tub of innuendo and inclination that bubble up and over in the comments. (Although I must admit, considering the topic, it stayed rather mild - making allowance where it could have gone to pushing the limits of FCC regulations.)  I'm going to give my two cents in an indirect way.


Once again it all comes down to SEX!  Imagine that!  Wanting to add spice, thrills, and excitement is NORMAL.  Very normal.  So why does it seem so shocking and naughty to suggest things outside the typical bedroom "box"?  Isn't it the naughtiness that makes it more desired?  It's all about forbidden fruit.  That dates way back.  This obviously is not a new issue to mankind.  When society has come leaps and bounds in many moral and social aspects why does it stall and stagnate on issues of sexuality? 


Isn't everything you need to pump up your sex life right within you.  You have everything you need (as long as your partner agrees)!  Live boldly.  You and your mate are the ones that draw your boundaries or break them.  You control the moment and where it can take you. Communication and honesty are key.  Talk about what you want and how you want it - if you dare, with whom you want it.  Commit to trust and then go for it. Rather then cautiously test the waters, dive straight in to the sex life you want with free abandon.  If you both agree the potential is limitless.


Start simply.  Change perfumes.  Light some candles.  Get a babysitter.  Dare I say, initiate SEX! Fancy some lacy lingerie or sexy boxers.  Talk "dirty". Start some foreplay in a room that DOESN'T have a bed in it. Toss on a white T-shirt and surprise your lover in the shower  for a little "Wet Tee" fantasy.


Once you have started walking that line - push! "Push it real good!" Hell, Copp is out kissing frogs!  Decide what your forbidden fruit is, and TAKE A BITE.  For some it may mean playing dress up (ladies, don't forget sexy heels - in many instances it will be all that stays on in the end!), for others - please pass the handcuffs & scarfs.  Although, not for everyone it, for some may mean inviting others into your intimacy and creating the "sex-capade" of you wildest dreams.  However if you break out of that box and take the splash it's certain to be anything but ANTI-CLIMATIC!