THE UGLY TRUTH

The Good Girl

The other day hanging out with a friend we got to the subject of Arnold Schwarzenegger's infidelity revelations. After the obligatory "Sperminator" joke, he said that he had seen a recent photo of the woman in question and was surprised by how unattractive the woman was and wondered why Arnold would have chosen her to cheat with.

My reaction went along the lines of: Excuse me? Your more surprised at the unremarkable looks of the woman as opposed to say the fact it was such a long relationship with an employee or that his wife and mistress were pregnant at the same time? Oh I forgot, celebrities (and non-celebrities for that matter) only cheat with people who are better-looking than their current mates. Otherwise, why cheat at all?

I have come to the sad realization that my friend is not alone in his attitude. Apparently, analyzing the attractiveness of the lady Arnold cheated with is going on everywhere. Since she doesn't look like a model, people wonder what could possibly possess him to sleep with her. He has a very attractive wife at home, it only makes sense that his lover should be hotter and younger. But she's not, so what's going on with him? There must be some other reason. One theory is that being the center of attention is so essential to Arnold that he didn't want to compete with someone too strikingly pretty. I have a couple of theories myself: maybe Arnold actually found her attractive and maybe some guys have different ideas of what makes a woman attractive. Radical, I know.

After a celebrity cheating scandal, the woman in question usually come under great scrutiny. And woe to the woman that doesn't live up to traditional Hollywood standards of beauty.

And, besides... She's OLD & UGLY!!!

Cheating on your wife with a conventionally hot woman is totally understandable, but not if you do it with somebody who doesn't look like she stepped out of a Vogue spread (or porn movie). When stories broke about Bill Clinton, there was a lot of snipping about Monica Lewinsky's weight and Paula Jones's nose. More recently in discussions of Jesse James and Tiger Woods, the women they cheated with were held up against the untouchable beauty of their wives. And the question was if you have someone like Sandra Bullock at home, what are you doing with Bombshell McGee?

Of course it goes back even further. I remember after the revelation of the true relationship between Prince Charles and Camilia Parker-Bowles, it was quite common to hear remarks about how old and ugly Bowles was. And many seemed incredulous that Charles would cheat on his hot young wife with a dried-up old hag. I clearly recall a talk show host seemingly stunned at this. But Diana is beautiful, why would he cheat on her with someone less attractive and older? That doesn't make sense.

All this seems to be saying that cheating is one thing, but there's something really wrong with you if cheat with someone who isn't even hot. I'm not sure why so many are willing to overlook the fact that infidelity often isn't just about sleeping with someone better-looking than your partner, and that an especially attractive lover doesn't make it more or less of a betrayal. The pain is just as deep and the devastation just as real no matter what the other person looks like. And that is the ugly truth.

Editors Note:  Other posts to check out by "The Good Girl"
Just Say No
The Good Girl's Dilemma