WANNA LAUGH?!?!?!

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Home is where you can say anything you like, 'cause nobody listens to you anyway.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.

I need someone really bad. Are you really ?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

I used to have a handle on life, and then it broke.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.