DRL is proud to welcome Tracy to the lounge. Although she is not the typical demographic of our writers, the motivation and insight makes her a post a great read for everyone - one which reminds us - sometimes starting over is just the thing we need, know it or not. What forty-somethings or fifty-somethings don't need to remember that in the world today?! Remember to embrace it and move forward.
Designing. Creating. Transforming my feelings and emotions into masterpieces is a feeling I cannot explain. What makes me stand out? My passion, my drive, and the high standards I set for myself. What make me unique? It’s the limitless ideas that constantly flow through my head. “Design is searching for a balance between business and art; art and craft; concept and detail; playfulness and formality; client and designer; designer and printer; and printer and public”. This is what I am. I am a designer.
I had no idea I was able to design. It’s a talent that I was (sad to say) force to find. You see I was a big dancer. I loved dance more then life itself. I studied dance, I breathed dance, I wanted to go to Julliard and become a professional dancer. I even tapped my way down the isles of shop and stop. Now I know what you’re thinking. “This girl must have had no life”! Well you’re right; I didn’t have a life outside of dance, until my body backstabbed.
First. My knee decided to dislocated, then the other.
Second. I kept dancing; there was no way I would be able to stop. This was my life, right?
Third. My first knee surgery, cut muscles, major painkillers, more physical therapy than you could believe, and learning how to walk on that leg again.
Fourth. I tried to get back up and dance. I failed; I was nowhere near the level I used to be at. So I upped my level of practice.
Fifth. My second surgery on my other knee; once again cut muscles, main killers, learning how to use my muscle again, and physical therapy.
I knew I was in no physical shape to dance but I didn’t care, I walked my butt back into that studio with my head high knowing that I would not let myself fail again. Leap one, leap two, leap three, double turn, straddle, it didn’t matter what I tried, I couldn’t do it. How could I go from a first place winner, gold medalist, special awards, and national competitor, to a beginner? How did this happen? Why is this happening? I worked so hard to get to where I was, all for failure, all for a crushed dream. Why me? Sixteen- seventeen years old and my time was done…so I thought. I needed time to mentally heal. I was hurt. I was discouraged. What was I suppose to do now? My life just got washed away. It took time, a lot of time, but now, I am a dancer again. I realized that even though I will never dance like I use to, I have more passion then before, and that makes me just as good if not better. Not being able to dance like I used to is still an unhealed wound that will probably never heal.
Now you’re probably wondering why I told you all that. Well here is your answer. One day when I didn’t know what to do with my life anymore, I picked up a pencil, and that’s where it all started. I couldn’t believe the designs and drawing that were coming from my right hand! I blew myself away. I grew to love it, just as much as I loved danced. I couldn’t imagine my life without it now. I get to express my emotions again, just through something else. I use to think that not being able to dance was the worst thing that could ever possibly happen to me, but it turned out to be one of the best. The point I am trying to get across is never doubt what happens to you. Be optimistic. See the glass as half full, not half empty.