THE MESSY BUSINESS OF DIVORCE

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

These days, it's almost impossible NOT to have a friend who is going through the painful process of divorce, or thinking about starting the process. More than 50% of marriages end up in divorce, and each one means that someone has suffered. Divorce is a messy business and can be difficult on two people who made the promise to marry for life. It can also be hard on children whose parents are going through divorce. Divorce can be complicated, because it not only involves the division of people within the marriage, but often material goods such as a couple's home, cars, money, and possessions need to be divided. Of course, if there are children involved, the effects can be devistating. While I would encourage every couple to work hard on their marriage, to be willing to comprimise and empathize, I do recognize that some marriages will fail. If you have a friend or relative that has reached this point, this is my advice to help them through a difficult time.

• 100% acceptance - give your friend a safe non-judgmental environment to vent. But don't participate in the blame game. That only makes things worse.
• Be someone who understands that your friend's pain is real - do not bring up individuals who have had it worse, like widows or burn victims, or say "at least you have your children", or "thank goodness you don't have children," or "you have your looks and health, you will find someone soon again." Those phrases diminish the real pain that your friend is experiencing at that moment.

• Promise secrecy – and keep your promise! Private matters that have been disclosed to you should not be shared with others, not even your spouse.
• Provide your friend with a shoulder to cry on - let them talk; sometimes that is all they need, but place a time limit on their pity pot talk. Change the subject if your friend starts to rehash familiar territory. They need to grieve first and then let their anger out, but it is not good for them to mull over the same set of offenses over and over again.
• Give them hugs - remember that someone going through divorce has lost physical contact with their life's mate, and that hugs are better than medicine.
• Provide your friend with your logic and ability to think straight - depression affects the brain. Remember, your friend is filled with anxiety and there are times when he or she can't plan strategically at all. Refer your friend to experts and self-help groups, or help them sort through the myriad of bewildering topics they will need to address - lawyers, realtors, job searches.
• Include your friend in fun outings and invite them to parties and events - even if they don't feel like going. This especially holds true for women, who are often dumped from the party circuit for reasons that are mystifying. Plan a lot of “girls night out” events.
• Keep in touch with regular calls, text messages, and via Facebook, Twitter, and cards - your friend may not respond, but these evidences of caring help. They'll come round and respond eventually.
• Be an honest friend - this takes diplomacy, but if you see self-destructive behavior, have the courage to step in and stop it.
• Drive them or their children - many separated people are unable to share the load of driving, which becomes evident as time passes. Offer to drive when you go on a shared outing, or to take their children to their events. It's the little details that count and provide relief.
• CHOCOLATE – they will need lots
•  of chocolate!

• Most importantly - prayers! Pray for whatever will be in their best interest, not what you think they want or what you want the outcome to be. This is the sign of a true friend!

Remember not to judge either party in a divorce. No one really knows what goes on behind the closed doors of a marriage. I know I've wanted to shoot someone after listening to a friend's account of how she was treated, but I restrained myself and didn't even shoot off my mouth! I was rewarded later when they reconciled and my friend cut off other friends who had bad mouthed her husband! She appreciated my support and discression, but especially the fact that I never put her husband down to her or anyone else. They've been happily married for 10 years since the incident!

Remember:

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. "
Mignon McLaughlin

****Here's a beautiful article worth reading about Marriage!
http://www.ivillage.com/lessons-kids-learn-their-parents-marriage/6-b-442908?nlcid=ls%7C04-19-2012

YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

Today more than one billion people around the globe will participate in Earth Day 2012 and help to do what they can to appreciate and protect our planet. People of all nationalities and backgrounds will voice their appreciation for the planet and demand its protection. Together we will stand united for a sustainable future and call upon individuals, organizations, and governments to do their part.  You can make a difference!  Do something in your corner of the world... turn off a light, ride your bike to get milk, pick up some trash, plan a car pool... do something - anything - no act is too big or too small! 


Nobody can do everything, but everyone can do something.



Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does.  ~William James

We can do no great things, only small things with great love.  ~Mother Teresa
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It's not.  ~Dr. Seuss



I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.  ~Edward Everett Hale



You must be the change you wish to see in the world.  

- Ghandi

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SOUL FOOD

Barbara Ward-Finneran

Our time is limited. 
Everything can change in an instant, 
so don't waste time not being all that you desire. 
Not reaching for your goals 
 or not finishing the journey.  


Never let the "noise" drown out your own inner voice. 
Have the courage to trust your spirit and intuition. 


Look to your heart to find your vision, 
your soul to find your dreams, 
and your mind to awaken to all that you are meant to be!

Keep the promises that you make to yourself!

Photo Courtesy of Barbara Ward-Finneran and Drawn 2 Design, LLC

©  All Rights Reserved

I JUST DON'T KNOW!

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

What's going on in the world today? I was browsing through events of the past 24 hours and these three articles just disgusted me. What were these guys thinking?

Minnesota, USA                                                                                                               A Minnesota man tried to kill a fetus by stomping on his pregnant girlfriend's stomach, police said. Kenneth L. Turner, 28, of Fridley, kicked, punched and choked his on-again, off-again girlfriend at her apartment during a three-hour attack early Friday, at one point ordering her to lie on her back before stomping on her stomach with both feet. The victim is two months pregnant. During the attack, Turner told her she didn't "deserve the baby" and said he was going to kill it, the newspaper said. He was arrested after the woman managed to call police at around 8 a.m. The woman, who was not identified, suffered vaginal bleeding and pain in her stomach, but police say the fetus survived.

Edinburgh, Scotland                                                                                                    One of three women who claim a man tried to murder them in Edinburgh and Fife has told a court she was raped, bitten and repeatedly strangled by him.The 20-year-old also claimed James Paterson, 23, from Lochgelly, Fife, kicked her in the stomach when she was expecting a baby. She told the High Court in Aberdeen she still has Mr Paterson's teeth marks in her arm from more than two years ago. Mr Paterson denies the allegations against him. He is also accused of raping two of the three women and attacking two newborn babies.

Pennsylvania, USA                                                                                                          A Bristol Township man is accused of stabbing his pregnant girlfriend several times with a large knife early Thursday.  Glenn Witherspoon, 24, told Jessica Field "I'm sorry I have to do this," before attacking her as they sat in a car.Field, 22, told police Witherspoon called her several times early Thursday morning and asked her to come to his home on Airacobra Street. Investigators say When Field arrived, Witherspoon got into her car and wanted to go to the Lennox Parking Lot to watch the sunrise. When they arrived at the lot, Witherspoon pulled a knife and stabbed Field in the chest, just above her heart. Field and Witherspoon struggled and Field was stabbed several more times according to officers who say Field suffered a three inch laceration on the side of her neck. Field was able to lock the car doors when Witherspoon got out to get something from the trunk, as Field drove away, Witherspoon jumped on the hood of the car to try to stop her, said police.She made it to her home on Jackson Street and relatives called 911. At about the same time police received a call about a man walking along Monroe Street who appeared to be bleeding from the head. When officers arrived on Jackson Street, investigators say they approached the man, later identified as Witherspoon, and he told them, "I didn't want to do it, is she alright?" Witherspoon is facing charges of attempted murder, aggravated assault, recklessly endangering another person and possession of a weapon.He was arraigned Thursday before Bristol District Judge Frank Peranteau and sent to Bucks County Prison in lieu of $1 million cash bail. Field is being treated at Aria Health's Torresdale campus and is expected to survive. Police said that Fields is about eight weeks pregnanat and it's believed that Witherspoon is the father.

JONATHAN FRID DIES AND PASSES THE TORCH TO JOHNNY DEPP

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

“Jonathan Frid was the reason I used to run home from school to watch ‘Dark Shadows, When I had the honor to finally meet him, as he so generously passed the torch of Barnabas to me, he was as elegant and magical as I had always imagined. My deepest condolences to his family and friends. The world has lost a true original.”

 These were the words used by Johnny Depp to describe actor, Jonathan Frid, who died at the age of 87, (oddly enough on Friday April 13^th). Depp will be playing the part of Barnabus Collins in the new Dark Shadows Film by Warner Brothers. Check out the movie trailer: http://darkshadowsmovie.warnerbros.com/index.html ) Frid plays a cameo role in the new film.

 Like Johnny Depp, I too used to race home from school to watch the original Dark Shadows with my older sister. We were so scared sometimes, we held hands.  We were latchkey kids and so were alone each day for the latest episode. There were lots of great characters, Angelique, Dr. Julia, and others, but the real star of the soap opera was Barnabus Collins, vampire and dashing, romantic figure!

Years later, reruns of Dark Shadow came on TV. I couldn’t wait to watch and be scared and excited like I was so many years ago. When it finally aired, I couldn’t believe it. What was so exciting then was now SLOOOWW! The budget was so low that they could only afford have 2 or 3 characters on each day. The story dragged out and the effects were so lame it was funny to look at them in this age of awesome special effects. Nevertheless, that doesn’t take away for the phenomenon that was Dark Shadows back in the day! For its time, this soap opera was cutting edge, serious entertainment for a generation of vampire loving school kids!

DICK CLARK DEAD AT 82

Marion Pellicano Ambrose

Dick Clark, America’s odest teenager, died Wednesday at the age of 82.

Clark was the creator of “American Bandstand”,  one of network TV's longest-running series as part of ABC's daytime lineup from 1957 to 1987. It later aired for a year in syndication and briefly on the USA Network. Over the years, it introduced stars ranging from Buddy Holly to Madonna. The show's status as an American cultural institution was solidified when Clark donated Bandstand's original podium and backdrop to the Smithsonian Institution.

Clark joined "Bandstand" in 1956 after Bob Horn, who'd been the host since its 1952 debut, was fired. Under Clark's guidance, it went from a local Philadelphia show to a national phenomenon.

 Clark also was known for hosting the $25,000 Pyramid,  TV’s Bloopers and Practical Jokes, the American Music Awards, and of course, Rockin New Years Eve each year from Times Square. He missed only one year, 2004 when he suffered a stroke. He returned the following year in a limited capacity, slurring his speech, but cheerful and youthful looking as ever!

 I remember watching a program on TV about 2 Autistic Savant women who just adored Dick Clark. Their whole life centered around watching American Bandstand, then the $25,000 Pyramid. They wrote to Dick Clark and had pictures of him all over their apartment. When the Pyramid finally went off the air, the girls were devistated. They went into a deep depression. Family members were so worried, they contacted Clark and arranged for a visit. The girls were thrilled and Clark was just wonderful. He called them regularly after that.

When Clark had his stroke, again the girls were devistated. When he returned home, he allowed them to visit again. No cameras or other people were allowed in his room but the girls and his wife. They came out crying, but happy. I feel so sorry about how they will react to Clark’s death!

Dick Clark was a huge part of America’s history. He should be remembered as the pioneer for music, racial equality, and positive thinking that he truly was.

FIFTY SHADES AND FIFTY LOADS OF LAUNDRY....

Dawn Boyle
I have been absent lately. I have let my laundry pile up. I have completely ignored the phone ringing and I am pretty sure my husband is convinced I am having an affair...

A few months ago, one of my "besties" called me on a Friday night. It was late. I picked up the phone and she stated "Read Fifty Shades and have Greg thank me when you're done." I questioned what she was talking about she repeated herself and hung up.

I raced up stairs to confines of my bedroom, opened up the laptop and googled the title. I read a few reviews and shut down the computer. I am not really a big reader, I am certainly not into some of the things they were saying in the review, and I really could careless about getting all involved with this book.

About a week or two after that phone call I was out for a Girls Night Out hosted by a friend. The book came up again, I told them about the call I received from our friend (who blew us off that night) and how she was so sure about me reading this book. There were a few chuckles about it being racy, there was a comment about not needing a book and that all was fine in their bedroom, and then there was the one comment that kept on coming back to me. It was the original comment about it making my husband thank my pal.....I went home and ordered the first book.

I am not going to go into details and will certainly not be a spoiler, but, I finished the first book, then I finished all three. I have fallen in love with Grey. I want to be Steele. I am still not into all the kink, but would do just about anything Grey wanted if he was going to give me that life...money never being a worry, someone who's sole concern was my welfare, endless gifts and a staff to take care of everything?!?!?! - SIGN ME UP!

So the laundry will now get back on track...my house will once again be tidy, all because my affair with Christian Grey is sadly over. Bittersweetly I bite my lip while holding back the tears that swell in my hazel eyes.....as I eagerly await the movie...we plan on renting a theater out and sipping champagne while we submerge ourselves in the perfect fantasy of FIFTY SHADES OF GREY.....til then - Laters, baby. 

Our own Jillian keeps time very well dancing with this type of genre.  Check out some of her Kinks, oops - I mean links below!

After The Kiss
http://delayedreactionlounge.blogspot.com/2011/03/after-kiss.html

Hart's Desire On Fire
http://delayedreactionlounge.blogspot.com/2011/05/harts-desire-on-fire.html

Business Trip
http://delayedreactionlounge.blogspot.com/2011/03/business-trip-part-i.html

Business Trip Part VII
http://delayedreactionlounge.blogspot.com/2011/06/business-trip-part-vii-harts-desire.html
Other links to this story included at the bottom of the post. 

HE SAID.... No Excuses

Tony Walker
This week's He Said is one of those where I make no excuses for the men & ask my fellow man "WTF"?

Two weeks ago we had a guest speaker at our SEPTA meeting.
Special
Ed
Parent
Teacher
Assoc

I am the Co-President of Wantagh SEPTA. When I was introduced to the speaker she said, "Wow! A male SEPTA President. That's wonderful!"
In my head I'm wondering what the hell was that all about.
The speaker's topic was about being a parent without losing sense of being a couple with your spouse. I bet most of us here can say we've become parents & lost being a couple.
Then I saw all the couples that came to see the presentation. That's when it hit me that this was the most amount of men we've ever had in my time around SEPTA.

So after the presentation I asked the speaker if the lack of men is a wide problem. She said it is. but doesn't know why.  Well if she doesn't know I sure as shit don't know!!!

So what's up fellas?  Are you too macho? Are you afraid to admit your kid is special needs? Do you not believe in special needs & think that a knock in the head is what your kid needs?  Ladies-do you struggle with your man when it comes to dealing with the kids?  Do you have a special needs child that your man doesn't fully acknowledge?

We need to have some father support groups. I know there are some out there. I'll start checking some out.

Maybe I shouldn't talk about this & give away the secrets..... so many hot moms show up at these meetings & I'm the only guy there!!! WOO HOO!!!!

By the way, the speaker's name is Fran Prezant. She has a few books out on a variety of topics. I highly recommend checking her out!!!

STICKY SWEET

CHOCOLATE THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY

Patty B

"When you go to the movies, its perfectly acceptable to eat the chocolate you smuggled in your purse. The theater concession guys will sell you more."

"If you're attending a major sporting event, you can eat all the chocolate you want, as long as you're not on the big screen television ... think Jumbo Tron."

"Wouldn't melted chocolate be a much better sunscreen? Other than the flies, of course."