Tony Walker
If you read my posts or my comments on my friend's posts, you probably by now know that I have a prosthetic leg.
Losing my leg to cancer taught me many lessons. The biggest lesson of all was realizing that we are NOT on this planet to be "9 to 5 zombies" going through the daily routine of going to a job you hate day in & day out. Plus the job I had didn't want me anymore. They saw me as damaged goods or as a liability. They supposedly were going to give me an office job but that offer never happened. So out the door I went.
With the thought in mind that no one was going to hire this man of damaged goods, I decided to make something happen for myself. My side job, running my comedy group, was now going to become my full time job. Performing comedy is what I was meant to do. I love every freaking second of it & I do it well.
While the company has made tremendous strides, so far it has not made me full time money. I have plenty of full time work with writing, directing, casting, advertising, booking, & setting up the shows, it still has not given me full time money. I think it eventually get there but unfortunately I have run out of time & money. Between the comedy group & my wife's job we knew it would be a struggle at first but I was confident the comedy group would succeed before we ran out of money. We've come close but we're not there & the money has run out. We are out of options. I am facing getting a "real job" again.
I am devastated. I know with some more time I can make this work. But time is something I don't have. Jagger & Richards said it best-"Time Waits For No One." I came so close to realizing my dream... now it's about to disappear. There is no way I can do it all while working a full time job. I would never see my family. My future with the comedy group is in jeopardy & I feel like a failure.
My question to you is... have any of you ever been in this position? If so what did you do? Where do you draw the magical line of pursuing a dream career & doing what you gotta do? Do you think of your family first or what this will do to you? I'm so confused!
Oh, Tony... I feel a similar pain. I have been struggling with taking a calculated risk. Security Vs. Dream & Happiness. Dream and happiness could pay off - security gets in the way. How do you do that when it seems so not the responsible thing to do. Yet, how do you keep spinning your wheels? How do you know when to bluff or fold? I'm trying to walk the middle - do all the best I can and get ducks quaking in a row. Funds ran out long ago - somehow we keep plugging. One day at a time. All we have is now - I try doing the best I can TODAY... try not to worry about next - next might never happen - easier said then done and often NOT practical. I have decided there are no answers - they all make new questions - I try to lead with my heart...
ReplyDeletemany prayers & much luck!
You only fail if you quit trying. I sit here today waiting to hear back from the bank on a business loan that could really help Green Whisker Works, but if I don't hear what I want to hear from them, it's not the end. I just have to approach the problem from a new angle. Barbara talks of security, security is a distortion and made of illusions. If you love and are good at what you do there is a way and if you are not looking for that way only then do you fail.
ReplyDeleteWait, wait, wait, just a minute here! I am glass half filled girl - the ultimate believer in creating your dreams and keeping the promises that you make to yourself...
ReplyDeleteHOWEVER, Life and reality get in the way - sometimes you have to prioritize for the other people in your life that you love and that you have are responsible to provide "security" for and to... (I am the bread winner who could not use a car for 4 days last week waiting for payday because the last 10 bucks went to milk and bread! That is reality sometimes when it's a paycheck to paycheck world! If you have kids their needs come FIRST - ALWAYS!) that said, NEVER give up on creating your dreams - if there is a will there is a way! I have dedicated myself to creating better - give up what you must - For me it's been mostly sleep - but chip away at the process - there is a masterpiece to be unearthed!KEEP THE PROMISES THAT YOU MAKE TO YOURSELF!!!! The game is only over if you allow it to end!
Thank you Barbara & Garyo.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I will ever stop trying to make my business, my dream, come true. But if I am forced to get a real job that sets me back big time!
But I have some ideas & will be reaching out to the one & only Boyle on Tuesday because I think she may be the one who can save my sorry (& hairy) ass!
Get ready Boyle!