The Orgasmic Birth

Jessica Lemoine McGinnis Yee

This week at our birthing class we watched a video called the “Orgasmic Birth”.  We saw a couple in control of their labor and birth.  The woman was calm, chatting, eating, drinking and relaxing at home while laboring.  A serene controlled environment created by her and her husband.  Then the big moment starts, second stage labor, the actual birth.  Ladies do you remember those first real labor pains, the ones that had you lost in yourself concentrating, bargaining, when will this stop. Now let’s give you some background,  I attend class with two young couples, this is their first child and who are really blissfully ignorant to birth and parenthood.  As the veteran of the group as my wonderful birthing teacher Susan calls me,  I knew what was going on so instead of watching the video I snuck peeks to see what the reaction of these new parents are to the videos.  I saw shock, fear, anxiety and then a wave of oh my god looks from the moms. From the dads there was shock, look of disgust, fear and oh my god.  I could see the questions rolling through their heads it was the same ones I had way back then.  Will I be able to handle it, am I strong enough? Can I be there for my wife? Is it really that gross?  Am I gonna wimp out and scream for the epidural!!!!

We all go through it. Women who have had the epidural and those of us who have not , the questions that roll through your head cause you hear those nightmare stories of pushing for 3 straight hours. Not to mention how exaggerated the whole process is portrayed in Hollywood.   The screaming women and the frantic, fainting husband doesn’t help you in understanding the real deal.  As a new parent the excitement and fear of child birth that first time around is almost euphoric, the second time you know what’s coming and the anxiety and fear builds so much faster and more intense. At least it was for me.  I’m on number three and well the fear is more intense because this time I’m opting to do this with no medication.  My husband is so supportive but I look at him and go damn you better not wimp out cause I don’t think I can do this alone.  I know he’ll be there but I’m nervous for him. He is always in control, calm in a crisis appears at work but this is his wife and baby. This time we are doing it purposefully non medicated.   We aren’t spring chickens anymore and we have a whole lot more to lose at this point.

So I refocus and I look at my daughter who just loves the idea of “a little bitty baby to wuv “as she puts it.  A sibling she can play with and teach how to properly annoy their big brother.  I just smile as the warm feeling of family and love come over me.  This week I gave both my kids the option to be in the delivery room with me.  I did this for many reasons.  I am embracing my inner natural mother, they should be exposed to something that is wholesome and natural and not be afraid of it, and the mother of two teenagers wants them to be there to see that childbirth is work and not something to be taken lightly, hoping that the shock will help them think twice in the future.  These are the two major reasons, my daughter the adventurer that she is, jumped at the chance but my boy he politely and comically said, “I’ll be in the waiting room with the cigars like all dads should be. MOM” as he look at my husband and smiled.  I giggled and responded “Just wait baby; I’ll remember this statement when you’re going to have your first child.”

Part of me wants to be blissfully ignorant as in my first pregnancy and part of me wants to be right here in this position so that I can prove to myself that I can do it. If I keep thinking about this which will drive me insane with anxiety and confidence at the same time I put my focus on making sure that my birthing team is completely on board with all of my choices.  So when I saw the doctor this past week, I had a long discussion of the dos and don’ts of my birthing plan.  The midwife who I saw this time was on board, but she did say that I should and will go over it with all the other doctors in the practice.  I’m a New Yorker through and through, I may live in the South now but I can’t change that aggressive larger than life attitude that I haves carefully cultivated over the years. I just hope that these Southern gentlemen can handle it.  The last few visits were just routine but from now on its all about me and what I want and how I want it. I’ll go easy on them but I’ll keep you posted since my next visit is in July.

Editor's Note:
Also By Jessica - The Newish Adventure