Wednesday, June 29, 2011


Jillian B Hart
After reading Tony's "He Said" from earlier today, where he ponders the "whys", "whens", and "wheres" of sex fitting into life -  it begs for a response.  Yet, all he got was crickets... not a comment was made!

The majority of men always wanting sex is a familiar concept.  As is that theme being a common thread in Tony's "He Said" posts.

According to Kinsey, (in a study done prior to the avenues available on the Internet),  54% of men think about sex several times a day.  Recalling memories of recent romps, fantasizing the future possibilities, as well as daring to day dreaming the wildest desires, all play a part in these carnal cravings that feed the need for some "lovin". At this point in time, it seems to me, many would agree - that number of 54% is grossly underestimated.  LOL

The NEWS FLASH however may be that many women want sex all the time too!   Sex in it's many amazing forms is singularly the most pleasurable act that a man and woman can engage in together.  Sex is and should be AMAZING!  Man or woman, who doesn't want to partake in an astounding erotic event? Sex is easy to come by --- whereas, love, connection and intimacy can be hard to pin point or even find in some relationships.  Males look for sex and find love... Females look for love and find sex. Of course a long term relationship with a lover sweetens the deal and both should happen and co-exist.  Yet that doesn't wash away that the thought process is different and therein lies the conflicting issues.  Our "sexpectations" are different.  If a guy gets off it's been good or even great - a woman needs more then the physical finish to feel fulfilled.

The road to nookie must be paved with intentions.  It matters not so much as to what is going on in life at that moment, whether it be - LIFE IS GOOD, or STOP THE WORLD I WANT TO GET OFF - as to what support is going to be had in the rest of life that doesn't involve sex.  

When your world is in crisis or days are blurring by with wonderment --- If a woman feels connected to her man, knows he's there emotionally, spiritually and physically to support her and their relationship and be part of a PARTNERSHIP then the rest flows freely.  It comes easily.  But if a woman feels like you aren't plugged into her and her feelings... then there "just ain't no turning it on!" 

That said... I will play devils advocate here and say - I'd bet some women play games with their men, his sexual prowess, and limitless libido, knowing all too well you can't always have your lollipop and lick it too!  Perhaps fellas, you need to know how to play back to win the game!

If you likes this post by Jillian check out:
What's So Complicated?!
Hart's Desire on Fire
Seven Day Sex Challenge, Bring It or Bust It?
Business Trip Part VII - Hart's Desire


  1. 54%??? That's it?? No way!!!
    What you say here Jillian is so true. My wife never gives me any lovin if she feels we're not connected.... needless to say that means we hardly ever do anything.
    Thanks for the post!!!

  2. Every serious relationship has the need to feel connected - through talking, doing things together, even some recreational things together. You have to want to try to make it work. If there is friction in a relationship, in other words feeling anger towards your partner, it is often a result in a power struggle. Don't give up....just listen more and do your homework!