DRL SAID, HE SAID'S BACK! ... WE'VE MISSED YOU MR. WALKER

TONY WALKER
So I've been wracking my brain trying to come up with a big way to mark my return to the lovely ladies of my favorite Lounge in the whole world.

There's only one way to mark that return... talking about sex!!!

But don't worry... I am going to go easy on you guys. I am going to ask you one question, a question you've been asked before.
WHERE IS THE CRAZIEST PLACE YOU'VE HAD SEX?

Now don't get all prim and proper on me and refuse to answer this question! You ladies talk about sex just as much as us guys! Don't even think about denying it!  So "man up" & tell us your story. Give me a comment!

My craziest was in a movie theatre. I didn't hit a home run but I made it to 3rd base. It was really cool. 

I know you Loungers can beat me though... I mean beat my story. Surely there are some mommy's bedroom, out in public, at the baseball field people out there. Let's hear your story!!! Give me some comments.....!

HE SAID... ALL DAY LONG I THING ABOUT...

TONY WALKER
This week's He Said is back to where it should be.... in the bedroom!!! YIPPEE!!
Do you ladies base your whole day around sex like men do?
I know most women won't admit but I think they do.
Is your mood reflected on whether you got some the night before? Or better yet, is your mood based on how good it was the night before?
If you get some in the morning does that put you in a good mood for the rest of the day?
I know it makes a big difference in my mood especially if it was mind blowing.
If it does improve your mood how long does the mood last before you're back to feeling the stresses of everyday life?
If you didn't get any the night before or if you did but it was bad does that put you in a bad mood? Is there even such a thing as bad sex? I think there is but I think I'll save that argument for next week's He Said!
Are you like us men who are ready for another round rather quickly? When I grow up I am going to buy an island & just be naked all the time. Who wants to come???

WALK THE WALK... TALK THE TALK...

with TONY WALKER
A DASH OF RACY MIXED WITH REAL... Rated "M" for MATURE
Back when I was a single man, I had a f*#kbuddy. One day I was on the phone with her when a friend of mine showed up at my house. To bust my chops, this friend picked up the extension & started listening to our conversation. My "buddy" had no idea someone else was on the line. He was making faces & reacting in silly ways to what she was saying. The big blow came when she started talking about my "shortcomings." My friend struck gold. He was hysterical. I got the last laugh though. The buddy went on to say that even though it's small I knew exactly what to do with it. To this day my friend & I still joke about that day.
So here's my question ladies... is it the size or is it what you do with it? Or is it both? Or neither? I'd like to think it's what you do with it that counts. But tell us what you think.
I know women who love a good size, some women say it doesn't matter as long as she loves the guy, some women say the tool does nothing for them & they prefer other options, some say it hurts when it's too big. Tell me what you think.

FRIENDS WITH.....

Tony Walker

Friends With Benefits. I have another word for it but Barbara was going to beat me up so I am going with FWB.
Surely most of you (if not all of you) have had a special friend who is there for you if you know what I mean.
I had two FWB's.... not at the same time although that would've been nice.... I mean I had one at one time and another during another time in my life.
I loved having a friend like that. We would meet, talk for a few minutes, laugh, then have some mind blowing sex with NSA. I would get into more detail but I promised Barbara I'd behave with this post.... damn!
One guy I know got his wife's permission to find a "buddy" because her sex drive is nowhere near his. He hasn't found a steady FWB but he's trying. His wife knowing about it is pretty crazy right?
A girl I knew used to meet a guy just to make out with him once in a while. Does that count as a FWB?
Have you ever heard the stories about after someone dies everyone finds out that that person had a girlfriend for most of his life that no one knew about? Some of them actually have a double life where they have a whole other family! Does that count? I know someone who actually led a double life for a while. Married at home but also spent time with a girl. They were so close he knew her whole family!
Why do we need friends like this? Do you do things with that person that you wouldn't do with anyone else? Do you actually have feelings for that person? Is there a level of excitement about having NSA sex? Is it to fill a void in a single person's life?
Tell us what you think. Have you ever had a FWB? Tell us some juicy stories about your adventures with your buddy! Tell us if emotions or feelings got in the way. Tell us if you've ever been caught. Tell us anything you want!

SUNDAY NIGHT RERUN: COOL OFF AFTER THE HEATWAVE

Ms. Jillian B. Hart's

BABY, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

If you like this you'll love:

Hart's Desire - Business Trip - Part VII
Hart's Desire On Fire

Seven Day Sex Challenge, Bring It or Bust It?!
After the Kiss (Cab Ride)

The Hot List

Hart's Desire - Business Trip - Part VI

Hart's Desire Teaser

Rebooting in the Bedroom

A Walk on the Cougar Side - April 8, 2011

Come Now - April 5, 2011

What's So Complicated - March 10, 2011

If I Could Wake Up Dreaming - February 25, 2011

She Said... SEXPECTATIONS

Jillian B Hart
After reading Tony's "He Said" from earlier today, where he ponders the "whys", "whens", and "wheres" of sex fitting into life -  it begs for a response.  Yet, all he got was crickets... not a comment was made!


The majority of men always wanting sex is a familiar concept.  As is that theme being a common thread in Tony's "He Said" posts.


According to Kinsey, (in a study done prior to the avenues available on the Internet),  54% of men think about sex several times a day.  Recalling memories of recent romps, fantasizing the future possibilities, as well as daring to day dreaming the wildest desires, all play a part in these carnal cravings that feed the need for some "lovin". At this point in time, it seems to me, many would agree - that number of 54% is grossly underestimated.  LOL

The NEWS FLASH however may be that many women want sex all the time too!   Sex in it's many amazing forms is singularly the most pleasurable act that a man and woman can engage in together.  Sex is and should be AMAZING!  Man or woman, who doesn't want to partake in an astounding erotic event? Sex is easy to come by --- whereas, love, connection and intimacy can be hard to pin point or even find in some relationships.  Males look for sex and find love... Females look for love and find sex. Of course a long term relationship with a lover sweetens the deal and both should happen and co-exist.  Yet that doesn't wash away that the thought process is different and therein lies the conflicting issues.  Our "sexpectations" are different.  If a guy gets off it's been good or even great - a woman needs more then the physical finish to feel fulfilled.

The road to nookie must be paved with intentions.  It matters not so much as to what is going on in life at that moment, whether it be - LIFE IS GOOD, or STOP THE WORLD I WANT TO GET OFF - as to what support is going to be had in the rest of life that doesn't involve sex.  

When your world is in crisis or days are blurring by with wonderment --- If a woman feels connected to her man, knows he's there emotionally, spiritually and physically to support her and their relationship and be part of a PARTNERSHIP then the rest flows freely.  It comes easily.  But if a woman feels like you aren't plugged into her and her feelings... then there "just ain't no turning it on!" 

That said... I will play devils advocate here and say - I'd bet some women play games with their men, his sexual prowess, and limitless libido, knowing all too well you can't always have your lollipop and lick it too!  Perhaps fellas, you need to know how to play back to win the game!


If you likes this post by Jillian check out:
What's So Complicated?!
Hart's Desire on Fire
Seven Day Sex Challenge, Bring It or Bust It?
Business Trip Part VII - Hart's Desire

SUMMER "RE-RUNS" - A Suggested Reading You Might Have Missed...

SHE SAID... DO YOU COLOR IN THE LINES?

Jillian B. Hart

SEVEN DAY SEX CHALLENGE, BRING IT OR BUST IT!?

Jillian B Hart

Me being me, it's no surprise that a friend told me about the One Extraordinary Marriage "7 Day Sex Challenge", and encouraged me to "read", "research" and "share" my thoughts.  Tony and Alisa Dilorenzo, speak about how when it comes to sex, life gets in the way.  HMMMM.... been there, wrote about that numerous times here at the lounge.  They are promoting the "7 Day Sex Challenge" to improve your marriage.  Do note, they have a spiritual side to the challenge and include prayer.  I will say prayer always has a place in marriage and partnership, and never underestimate the power of a praying wife. Trick is to make sure she's praying for your good being and not your demise.  Or vise versa.  But that's a whole other blog. Like me, the Dilorenzos, encourage you to shake things up and think out of the typical bedroom box.  Consider what is stated in Rebooting in the Bedroom - do what you can and must too prevent your sex life from getting boring.  For ideas read, The Hot List.   WOW, I really am not alone in this, LOL! (Hush, Tony Walker - I know you'll be all over this!) In fact, Fox News was all over it.  (Note to self - get the DRL editors to get a press release out to Fox News. my articles are right along the same lines as the Delorenzo's, HA!)

The point of being necessary for continuation of the species aside.  Sex is an important part of life.  Yet, all too often it is NOT a priority in your relationship.  Why not?  WHY THE HELL NOT?  What's so complicated?! It makes for a happy lover.  It really makes for a happy man! It also makes for a good time, (At least if you do it right!), good relationship, good mood, good endorphins, good health, good sleep, good stress relief, good cardio... the list goes on and on.   The "no time", "no energy" thing - is true at times, but it is often truer that it is a cop out.  If something is important to you - you make it a priority.  Why then, if relationship is important do so many long term partners allow the sex side of it to get lost?  

LUNCH TIME POLL - Party of Three

Jillian B Hart


A 'threesome" is something many fantasize about.  Perhaps many more then are even willing to admit  to thinking about it.  A threesome is NOT like regular sex.  It will require trust, imagination and sensitivity. 


Is it something you really want? How do you get your lover to agree?  
If agreeing to cross this line... 
Are there rules?
Limits? 
How would comfort, trust, and respect factor in?  
What about jealousy?  
Would you give as much as you want to get?
Can a threesome really be just pleasure and experimentation or will it permanently alter your relationship forever?
Is this different for a man and a woman?


If you were to invite someone else into your bedroom with you and your lover, how would the ménage à trois add up?

FFF- All ladies...
FFM - Two girls & a guy
MMF - Two guys & a girl
MMM - Men's club, no girls allowed

SHE SAID... GOOD SEX INVOLVES A CAN DO ATTITUDE!

Barbara Ward-Finneran

There is something to be said of acting twenty-something to feel twenty-something.  It may not take pink pills or pink stilettos to do so!

It is working in many areas of my life.  I have embraced my forties by being active in MY OWN LIFE, rather then treating it more like a spectator sport, as was common in the previous decade.  In my thirties there were no 5Ks, running shoes, rock climbing walls, bikram yoga, owning an LLC, writing at DRL. There was no blonde wig, little black dresses, shopping at "Vickie's", or stilettos.  (I do credit my thirties with becoming a mother  - that I affirm, as the most amazing "accomplishment" then and now - everything else pales in comparison!) I feel better then I have in as long as I can remember - and it's because I have made the choice to act and do as I did in my twenties.  In my twenties I created dreams instead of just sleeping through them. I put in the effort and worked hard to make them happen.  I PARTICIPATED IN MY LIFE!

I have banished the "I can't do that!" or "I'm not an athlete!" thoughts and in recent times replaced them by only positive affirmations or at the very least the thought, "What have I got to lose?".  Truth is I lost a lot, and I'm not just talking pounds!  I lost; fear, embarrassment, "sitting on the side lines", apprehension and anxiety among other things.  The more new activities and ventures that I have encountered and dared to try have made me embrace things like confidence, success, stamina, endurance, etc... Even "failure" is sweeter when it's because it didn't work rather then because I didn't try!

Why not apply the same "Can Do Attitude" to your personal and intimate parts of life?  For me it spilled over with out any extra effort.  Stepping up to participate in my life in small ways created a catalyst that make me want to do more and more.  Every time one part of life feels better it makes you hungry for more of that "endorphin high"!

Feeling good.  Feeling confident.  Creating dreams.  They all empower you.  They will also awaken your libido!!! Too often as we age - we lose ourselves.  Find yourself.  Rekindle your passions and what makes you happy - in all aspects of life.  The bedroom will follow.

If you want your sex life to feel as good as it did in your twenties - then act like you are in them. Wanna feel like a sex kitten, be one!  Fancy that blonde wig, fashion on some lace and strut your stuff in the stilettos!  That's all I'm telling Tony........

REBOOTING IN THE BEDROOM

Jillian B. Hart

System overload it happens to us all.  It shakes up your whole world. Everything else matters more.  Your own needs can fall by the way side and you then have nothing to give or share.  When you partner wants to stir up some intimacy with you they may just encounter a user error.

Miss the thrills of I just can't keep my hands off my mate?  That erotic charge that hung in the air between you when everything was new?  How do you turn up the heat again without risking a meltdown from your lover who is caught up in the wicked details of life that are constantly exhausting?

Repeated rejection or boredom in the bedroom hits your relationship like the blue screen of death.  So how can you reboot in the bedroom with out encountering an epic fail?

Long term relationships offer an array of positives.  Love, shared history, endless connections, loyalty, honesty, friendship, routine, partners, soul mates - all feel secure - but, may not be sparking the essence of sexy and exciting that is desired.  All that security can be mundane.  These very things that love thrives on can stifle passion and lust and that's a wicked and even at times a scary place to dwell.  For desire to thrive and be ever present in your relationship it is good to maintain some levels of elusiveness, independence and  randomness.  Those elements that you had when you were first falling for the one you love.  The thrill of the chase.  The feel of the forbidden fruit. The excitement of knowing your partner hungers for you.