A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seemed like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. After a bit, he pulls the ripcord.
He tries again.
He starts to panic, but remembers the backup chute. He pulls that cord.
He frantically begins pulling both cords but to no avail.
Suddenly he looks down & he can't believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going up!
Just as the other guy passes the sky diver-who is now scared out of his wits-he yells, "Hey! Do you know anything about skydiving?"
The other guy yells back, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
What do you get when you cross LSD with birth control?
A trip without the kids!!!