1. Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act
4. Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal, or voice mail, and someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will
have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with or look hideous.
9. Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. The Coffee Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
11. Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
12. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
13. Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
14. Law of the Phone
No one in your home will talk to for hours until you answer a phone call from someone who actually wants to speak to you.
This could keep going and going........
Let's have some fun and add to the list! Write your laws and comment away!
These were hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHere's one...
Right after a man masturbates, his girl asks for some lovin!
Here's a personal one for me...
My prosthetic leg fits all the way up to my ass. Putting the leg is a bit of a production. I cannot do a "number 2" with it on. Sure enough, many times I've put it on when the "number 2" comes calling!!
The Law of Kids Listening
ReplyDeleteTell them three times to brush their teeth, pick up, etc.... no one listens. Whisper a fact you want them to have no knowledge of and they will not only hear it but have total recall for life!
Law of teenage taste in clothing: As soon as you say you like it,they think it's hideous. You say it's too short, too revealing, too ugly or too expensive and they love it!
ReplyDelete