Barbara Ward-Finneran
Swimsuits are clearanced. Back to school sales fancy every
flyer of the Sunday paper. Halloween decorations are out and if that isn't scary enough, some retailers are already sporting Christmas in July! The hot humid days of summer are not yet over, yet -Change is in the air. All signs are pointing to that fact that I "hate" to acknowledge or dare to recognize... Summer is "ending" all too soon. All too soon it's back to school. Ugh! Just two weeks and two days away, before it's alarms ringing long before first light and me and my boys out the door and on our way by 7am. After weeks of night owl-
ing it for all of us, the fast approaching change is going to be painful at best. I don't believe we have seen one night of a reasonable bedtime since May 26th, for the kids or myself. We have lamented in the art of sleeping in and having brunch. The thought of doing otherwise is more then mildly disturbing. Yet it is looming. And, I "hate" it. I've never been a Mom who counts the days to sending 'em back. Quite the opposite - I dread it! I adore the carefree days of PJ's till noon and baking chocolate chip banana muffins for breakfast. Of having time to play with my kids and enjoy them with no pressures of where or when to be or do something. Of boogie boarding, body surfing and long walks at the beach. Of having time to sip and savor not just a cup but a pot of tea. Of indulging in a new book knowing that if I get lost in it I don't have to stop because work beckons in the morning. Of knowing there's still time to finish the things on my summer "to do" list.
I "hate" that it's down to ending in days and not weeks. I struggle with the boys still wanting a "vacation" and the words to explain why it can't be this summer, while hiding my own disappointment from them, and talking up the fun things we did do while on summer break. I hate that at
fourtysomething when I thought things would be "easier" (then they are) I find myself working harder and yet literally counting pennies more often then I'd like to admit. I hate that things must change even if I'm not completely ready for it. It must. It has to...
Somethings got to give. And I just don't mean an earlier bedtime. Change is in the air. In many ways I'm ready and longing for it - but, the thought of real change is as overwhelming as it is exciting.
Just like the end of summer...
The knowing, is bittersweet. It energizes you to make the most of what's left, yet the reality of the time limits, nag at your thoughts. It changes your perspective and priorities - reminding you to make the most of this time. "To everything there is a season..." Seasons change, not just on the calendar, but in the journey of our lives. Regret or rejoice is your choice to embrace or decline - but change is unavoidable, and right now, for me, it's in the air, like it or not.
I may "hate" the "end". However every ending reaps a beginning...
And to that I say,
"Bring it!"
To quote my game playing kids,
"Ready or NOT, here I come!"
(...As for back to school - not so much!!!)
